My Six Month Thoughts!

A rant/reflection on my long days of recovery during my three week hospital stay!

As some of you know my surgery was complicated and I treasure my life and bypass more than ever now! During my stay in Hospital there was a "feeling" amongst the staff/team that maybe I should be hidden away so as not to frighten others as they checked in for surgery this however soon changed as I was surrounded by some of the following:
Smoker Joe whose first walk post bypass was outside for a smoke!

Anorexic Sid returning for investigations as he could not eat 6 months after bypass BUT always managed chocolates crisps etc brought in by relatives then obviously had major dumping but was hoping for compensation for his "illness"

Beer Swilling Fred - who post sleeve seriously wanted to know if Beer could be used to liquidise with in the puree stage!

I am not joking these people were very real and in a perverse way aided my recovery! When the media and press knock WLS there is a part of me that understands where they are coming from and these folk a snapshot of patients played the game up to point of surgery! I rant because there are those who abuse us, abuse the system, abuse the NHS and staff and abuse their own surgery!

Well I am shocked!!!! I really thought that beer as a liquid would be perfect and if you liquidise a little chocolate with it, win win!!!

Some people can't help themselves, how did they get through the assessments???

Glad you are doing alright though!!

i was thinking the same about assessments when i was waiting to go in there was a wife who told me she had found 100 chocolate bars hidden around the house by her husband how on earth was he ready for surgery ?

Can't believe you're 6 months out already Phil. Lovely to hear how much you cherish things now- and what a dishy geezer you are now (unless that's some other bloke in your avatar!). I'm with you and cherish this gift and feel a great responsibility to use it correctly, (even though at nearly 7 months post-op I find I am getting head hunger for naughty chocolate and have to use lots of will power not to cram loads in my non dumping chops!!) and find it amazing that people can behave the way your ward-mates did! I do think part of it is the hospitals responsibility in that they don't seem to spend time checking out with people that they really understand what they are doing. I found out such a lot by my own research, and still do, but the hospital, good as they were and grateful as I am, didn't give a lot of info really. For example, not once has anyone mentioned redundant skin and the reality of living with it. If I hadn't prepared myself I don't know how I'd be coping now. It's hard enough even though I knew to expect it because of my research!
Any way, well done on your fa weight loss and you're fantastic bravery after your op. I didn't see one moan from you-you just got on with it! Inspirational !!
xx

angiemason said:

i was thinking the same about assessments when i was waiting to go in there was a wife who told me she had found 100 chocolate bars hidden around the house by her husband how on earth was he ready for surgery ?

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Good God ! Poor chap has a serious addiction ! He'll never cope if he hasn't worked on that before his op.

no exactly all i could say was well i hope you threw them all away i couldnt believe it really and all i could think of what a waste of money the op is and i wondered if he'd had it done coz how did he do pre op ?

Miss Tickle said:

Can't believe you're 6 months out already Phil. Lovely to hear how much you cherish things now- and what a dishy geezer you are now (unless that's some other bloke in your avatar!). I'm with you and cherish this gift and feel a great responsibility to use it correctly, (even though at nearly 7 months post-op I find I am getting head hunger for naughty chocolate and have to use lots of will power not to cram loads in my non dumping chops!!) and find it amazing that people can behave the way your ward-mates did! I do think part of it is the hospitals responsibility in that they don't seem to spend time checking out with people that they really understand what they are doing. I found out such a lot by my own research, and still do, but the hospital, good as they were and grateful as I am, didn't give a lot of info really. For example, not once has anyone mentioned redundant skin and the reality of living with it. If I hadn't prepared myself I don't know how I'd be coping now. It's hard enough even though I knew to expect it because of my research!
Any way, well done on your fa weight loss and you're fantastic bravery after your op. I didn't see one moan from you-you just got on with it! Inspirational !!
xx

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THANKS hun xx
The head hunger hits me bad too I cope with a healthy snack and a little extra exercise lol One of my practice nurses reckons that my 50 min walk is equal to a cream cake I reply its actually an extra ryvita!! Good to see you and onwards we both go!

There are those who will abuse any gift they are given, think George Best, what a waste of a liver !!!!!!! there will always be people who given a second chance at life will throw it away. I had my 2ndchance after fighting cancer but was still fighting my battle with my weight
Great to see you doing so well Phil xxxxxxxxxxxx

Hi Phil,

Thanks for the uplifting update! No wonder you had enough strength to fight for your life thru your post op complications with wastrels like Smoker Joe and Beer Swilling Sid for company!

Like your new avatar profile pic as well.

Still wince every time I see the photo of your post surgery tummy (now down at the bottom of your signature area) as I have to admit I am one of life's squeamish people ..... wondered whether you still needed that photo there (is it just me who is a wuss?) .... but perhaps you see it as your battle scars.

wow well done that's great loss. xx

wow well done that's great loss. xx

At our seminar a married couple were playing build a burger on their iphones and arguing over McDonalds vs KFC for dinner on the way home. Another lady was eating 2 Tunnocks Tea Cakes. All this while the consultant told us about the risks of obesity.
Totally understand where you're coming from hun & well done you!!
xx

Great post probally one of best I have read.
This was something I brought up recently with my team.
I honestly believe the nhs need to look more into counselling before the operation as I don't know about other pct but mine was have the operation and get on with it
Now for a food addict that did not help because even though I had the smaller stomach I still had the same addition to food
It has took alot of strength and willpower from me not to do what I did before
Where as if we had addressed the problem before the operation it would have been alot easier
I hope my ramblings make sence and my point comes across

i think a lot more people would be refused the op after assessments trouble is we don't like being told no and some people would go to papers mp's etc and surgery would get worse stick than it does now if all pct's stuck to the same rules and guidelines and assessments were compulsary i think people would know what to expect and admit if they have a problem and then surgery can be done after their mind is sorted out ( in an ideal world )

My PCT sends you off for a 13 week, "Lighten Up" course which deals with food and exercise looking at why we overeat and our triggers. They also offer you Cognitive Behaviour Therapy if you feel you need it.
The problem is no matter what the PCT puts in place, people will know how to play it and say the right things to jump the hoops and get what they want.
At the end of the day, they're the losers and are wasting the opportunity of a lifetime hun.
xx

George Best, alas, had a very serious addiction. He was in despair before he died as his health deteriorated and his life slowly but surely slipped away. And he expressed crushing guilt about drinking after his liver transplant. He once said, 'I can't help it. I can't stop.' The look in his eyes made me want to weep.

Most very overweight people are food addicts and, in particular, carb addicts. Certainly WLS alters the physical body in ways that limit how much a patient can eat, as well as the type of food they can tolerate, but they are still food/carb addicts. There is no cure for such an addiction. Rather the individual has to make conscious choices -forever! - to avoid trigger foods, etc. or face certain regain.

Most people here, when talking about their morbidly obese, pre-op days, describe a nightmare of failed efforts to control their eating, of weight loss/gain/loss/gain. Overweight people generally struggle for years with weight and body image issues. Think of how miserable you all were, before WLS, or how miserable you are now, as you contemplate or await surgery.

The addict has no control. He or she has lost the power of choice over their poison - in our case, food. And yet, in most other areas of life, we are in control. We cannot tolerate not being in control! We can be the most stubborn people on the planet.

Angiemason said something that immediately rang true for me - 'trouble is we don't like to be told no'. Fantastic, and 100% true!

We beat ourselves up for 'failing' and 'being weak' - we are very hard on ourselves - but it is not weakness,nor greed,nor gluttony... it is addiction, first, last, always, that causes us to trip and fall.

But we get up again. And we try, with each new day, with each new meal, to eat what we should. I think for a food/carb addict losing a huge amount of weight and keeping it off is the hardest thing imaginable. Bar none.

I myself lost 140 pounds over a period of a couple of years. I finally achieved this huge and life-changing loss by low carbing. I am a carb addict; my particular poison is sugar - biscuits, cakes,sweets - but I also love bread, pasta, etc. For ten years I maintained within a 5-7 pound regain limit. I felt great. I really thought I'd cracked it.

Not long ago my dear father passed away - leukaemia and hodgkin's lymphoma. At the same time my brother was diagnosed with his third terminal disease - he has leukaemia, heart disease and mid-stage prostate cancer. These terrible events hit me very hard.

Life happens, as we all know, and over the past 18 months I have regained two stones. Last year I managed to lose 22lb but slowly put it back on. However I have NOT regained the other 8 stones, and nor shall I. I will lose this regain, no matter how long it takes.

Remember that whilst all of you are coming to terms with your post-surgery diet and health niggles and setbacks of one sort or another, you are also coping with LIFE and its many ups and downs. You are dealing with work stress, money stress, relationships, kids, breakups, bereavements, family illness... That's a very tall order! And since, as I have read here, you are all too often neglected by your medical teams, you are often worried, weak and in pain.

Be kind to yourselves, please, and be kind to others who may at this moment be losing the food or alcohol battle. With love and support they - and you - will go on to win the war.