Aaaah Having a real bad case of ' am I doing the right thing?'

[EmmaLouise81]

Hope you guys don't mind me sharing this with you but you are the only people who know how it feels to out yourself up for an op.

I don't know what has happened tonight but I am just in a bad state, can't seem to stop crying and I am just so down.

I just feel lost, totally and utterly lost.

I have an appointment on the 29th in Chichester to got private for a band/bypass op. In my heart of hearts I know the bypass is for me but some family members are scared by that and have asked me to go for the band.

I obviously explained my reasons against it and basically it boils down to the fact that if I was forced into a band and did not see results I am not sure I could cope mentally.

I am 28 now with NO LIFE! With M.E not helping things I have missed out on a lot...friends .... relationships ....career.

I had a pretty bad summer which resulted in new anxiety medication and a referal to a mental health nurse. For the past few months things have been better but all of a sudden I have just cracked up again.

Yes I do worry the op might not work for me but I am not worried about the risks involved for me but I do worry if I am being selfish. Do I have the right to put my family through all this?

My parents are amazing, so supportive and they are paying for it as they want me to be happy but I just feel so bad. Maybe it is the thought of being away from home, when I had my gallbladder removed I woke up to my parents and brother and sister. Big thing as my dad loves his work and hates hospitals.

My mum will be with me and I worry about her being alone if anything did go wrong. Maybe everyone worries about this type of thing but it is really getting to me. Personally I have nothing to lose, not one bit happy in my life. Went to Nice recently and had a lovely time but the whole time was spent with me wishing I could be slim and having a good time on the beach.

At the same time I know I can not go on like this, too much for me now after being fat from 4 years old it has just taken its toll on my mental health and not to be too blunt but I think my family know if I had to stay this way they would lose a daughter in the end.

I honestly admire any parent going down the surgical route. I am acting like a big baby and I have no partner or child depending on me.

Keep thinking what I need to say to Mr Somers to make him see how much I need this without making him think I am a looney. Maybe that is what has got me started, thinking about the appointment and what will be asked and if he will say yes. Just wish I could fast forward until next Tuesday when I will know one way or the other.

Again sorry for my rant, I just wanted to get it out.

 

[margaretmc]

Hi Emma
Is this your first appointment , if so Mr Somers and you can talk about the best surgery for you . You have got all your life to live after your surgery hun and just think of all of the nice beach holidays your going to have . God I wish I was 28 again . Your family are just worried about you , is your mum going with you next week I hope so because her mind will be put to rest when you both see Mr Somers . I`v just seen him on TV but he sounds really lovely . Good luck and take care and please let us know how you get on .
Margaret xx

 

[EmmaLouise81]

Thank you Margaret.

Yes first appointment and my mum will be with me next week and if or when I get the operation. Tears all done now so hopefully that was my last wobble for a while!

 

[zns]

There is a big thought from people that dont really know that the band is better and so much safer, satistically with the bypass your risk factor is still no worse than for a normal operation such as one for gall stones. Do what is right for you and the way you eat. I hate it when I see peoples families making them feel like this xxx

 

[CCPM]

Hi

When I saw Mr Somers he asked about my problems with weight over the years and once he knew that I had yo-yo'd up and down he said straight away it was thebypass. Just tell him everything truthfully and he will advise whats best.


At the op your Mum may be there alone if something did go wrong but she will be surrounded by health care professionals who would help her. There are specialist nurses there all the time, the surgeons are always about and so are the anaesthetists, she would get all the support she needed not the same as family but she would not be alone.

This is your life my dear and you know your quality of life its one of those times when you need to put yourself first and intoi the hands of the professionals for advice.

Good luck

M

 

[EmmaLouise81]

Feeling much better this morning, told mum about my feelings and she said there was nothing selfish about it....she has seen me struggle for years and wants the best for me. Still feeling a little fragile but at least I got it out there.

 

[vanilla-cupcake]

Hi Emma, dont let your family talk you into an operation that will do you no good not only is it a waste of money but its pointless, bypass & banding are 2 completely different operations. Mr Somers will go through each operation with you and decide on which one is best for you. Its only natural for your family to be worried but they shouldn't be putting pressure on you and making you worry even more, its not doing any of you any favours.
Im sure you've read up on bypasses and know that its the right op for you, if you have no quality of life at the minute whats to loose, having the op could be the best decision you ever make and turn you into the happiest person alive

Good luck with your consultation with Mr Somers next week, make sure you let us know how you get on

Kate x

 

[gaelic girl]

Hi Emma
I went to my consultation with my surgeon (private) to book a gastric band for the same reasons as you thought at first and came out having booked a gastric bypass instead. Trust me when i say i'm a big coward and i was terrified as was my mum ( my late dad's money paid for mine). So glad i did it now and my mum says i sound happier than i have done for ages so although its natural to get the doubts you will know and do what's right for you x

 

[wannabeslimagain]

what ever operation you end up having, best of luck to you in your journey to a new life and you have the added bonus of a hunky surgeon to with Shaw Somers he is so sexy ha ha

 

[thinkbethin]

Hi Emma, hope you're feeling better about everything today sweetheartxx

 

[Emma Louise]

Good luck Emma, believe me when i say you are not alone in feeling this way. I could have written most of what you said.

Just forget about other people and concentrate on what YOU want, after all your the one who is going to be living with it for the rest of your life.

Its not selfish to want to be happy.

I dont have any dependants either love, but i WANT to have dependants, and i know i probs wont be able to have kids the way i am, so something has to be done.

Good luck, keep us posted xxxx

 

[quetiapina]

Good luck Emma, I think the others are right when they say to discuss each op with yr Doc (hey, that rhymes-sort of!). I think when we know the facts of something, it is a lot less scarey and you will be able to make an informed choice.
Very best wishes to you x

 

[PinkDaisy]

Hi,

I am 22yrs old and started my surgery pre op diet at almost 22 stone, I had a gastric band and since the pre op 5 n half weeks ago I have lost 2stone 3lbs which I am soooo happy with. I am now 19.9 and cant believe how much better I am feeling and this is without restriction, go for it hun ur doing the right thing x