air rage abuse now I'm scared to fly

[gingernutter]

2 years ago I was verbally abused on a flight back from the USA. The super skinny passenger sitting behind me called me a fat slob amonst other things. She was angry as my seat was rocking when I moved, she said it was my fault as i was a big fat slob.

At the time I defended myself but I have really gone off the idea of getting on a plane. I haven't flown since. I know she was just a rude, drunken rat bag but I can't help but feel hurt by her remarks.

This is not the only time that I have experience abuse because of my weight but how can I move on?

To make things worse last year after my brother died suddenly so I had to have a heart scan. While in the machine I suffered a panic attack while having a heart scan. The scan had to be abandoned half way through as I was so distressed.

I hope when I lose more weight that I will get over these phobia's.

Does anyone else have any "fat phobia's" ?

 

[biglittlesis]

I understand that feeling of shame as you have to ask for the seatbelt extender and they make a fuss of giving it out to you! I dread going to the checkout in case they say you have to buy another ticket!! Well I'm off on hols in january hopefully I don't need one by then. As you lose you will get more confidence good luck

 

[StephieAck]

I HATE buffets at parties!!!
People have a habit of perusing everyone elses plate to see what is available and then some even make comments which really irritates me, especially as I have never piled the food on they say things like "thats seriously all youre having?" and look shocked, so I just simply dont do buffets or carverys, if there ever is a buffet hubby gets two plates and gets mine for me.
I KNOW that people judge fat people for what theyre eating and so I just dont like eating in public so very much.
I dont know if you would call it a phobia but its definately an issue.
Steph xx

 

[Tyraboots]

I have caught people looking in my shopping trolley, or what I put on the conveyer belt at the cashpoint. That annoys me.
Buffets are annoying also.
I get a lot of stranger abuse, always men, usually from cars. But I don't do myself any favours I don't dress well, my body language is not good.
But rude people will always be rude. Aggressive people are best avoided, they will always meet their match. Best ignored and avoided. Just think to yourself 'you're someone elses problem.'
A few years ago I was working behind a bar. These 2 brothers used to come in a lot, get absolutely rat arsed and start being nasty. One night they came in one of them walked up to me and said, 'You are the ugliest bird I've ever seen.' (he wasn't Brad Pitt by the way.)
So I got hold of his tie and pulled him towards me. He was laughing, as were his mates, they thought I was going to kiss him. I ties him to one of the upright brass posts on the bar, then I punched him in the face as hard as I could. His brother went mad shouting 'he was only joking', didn't have any trouble after that.

It is open season on fat people, no two ways about it.

 

[thinkbethin]

Plastic chairs!!! They are my phobia lol, if I go anywhere and the chairs are plastic (bbq's,cafe's etc) I would rather stand and have back ache. I know what you lot mean about buffets and eating in public.x

 

[Tyraboots]

I actually watched someone break a plastic chair in a pub garden. I avoid them.
I had to ask for an armless chair in a restaurant because I couldn't get into the one with arms.

 

[BlueDiamond]

I used to work in at pub when I was at my heaviest, and one of the regulars came in one evening and after a skinful (no excuse) He said to his mate "who ate all the pies" and pointed at me, I didnt even know wot it meant, and me mate said I am surprised you didnt knock him out , I was confused and said why , and she explain wot " who ate all the pies" meant. to which point I was effing furious beyond belief, I bid my time until later in the evening when he was at the bar with all his friends and waited for him to order another round, and with all my strength not to smack him one, I served him waited till he paid and just as I handed over his change. After that I waited my my turn to sing on the karoke machine, when I finished I made sure everyone was silence and said I had an important announcement to make, the WHOLE pub went totally silence and eyes was focused on me , and I said could "Alan" that was the fella's name come up on the stage... to which point he did, to which I said into the microphone, I have worked in this establishment for many months now, and I would like everyone to know that "Alan" mocked me for my weight and told everyone about what he said "who ate all pies" etc, and then I turned to him and said "I may be overweight Yes I dont deny that,but you my friend will always be an a**hole with a small c**k and single..............well the whole pub fell about laughing at him, and he apologised in front of the whole pub and admitted he felt ashamed and never mocked me again. And that my guys and girlies is the way the cookie crumbles .......

Thanks in advance for reading MeJulie xx

 

[gaelic girl]

I have two plastic chairs as well, i sat on one in Spain in June and it just went from under me i was so embarrased and also sitting in the middle of anything ie cinema, plane etc because i felt i always overlapped onto those on either side of me and i hated the way people on either side would either dig their elbows into my sides or shuffle to try and "get away" from me x

 

[teen]

I was in a pub and a bloke grabbed my bum, as I turned round his mate said loudy he can not resist a big arse and quick as a flash I said loudly he can not help having a ugly mate either. He shut up lol

 

[gaelic girl]

lol good one Teen x

 

[Bonita]

I got my bum stuck in the chair in my Neurologists office. It took both him and hubbie to pull me out and I had two lovely bruises both sides of my hips for a while.

Last time I went to see him I deliberately sat in the same chair and watched his face as I stood up again. We both cracked a smile but said nothing.

 

[phatmomma]

Buses - worry about them getting packed and having to struggle past people (luckily i drive most places)

Restaurants - in case i get hemmed in by other people's chairs

Plastic chairs - goes without saying

Parents evening - i worry about my children's embarassment of having a fat mom

The list could go on forever if i thought about it long enough!

 

[hopelesscase]

Sarah on the 29/07/09 you took massive steps to start a new life, my advice to you you would be what has gone befor you has gone.Let go of all the hurt and insecurities that yr weight caused you and view each day as a new start and enjoy your future with the spring in yr step that will come as you tread the new paths in life.
take care
carole

 

[nerys-]

I have the perfect line for you (especially if your REALLY big like me)

Turn slowly around snarl and say "JUST IMAGINE WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF I SAT ON YOU"

"NOW SHUT UP"



Now if your not menacing looking this might not work but the few times I did it I got absolutely NOTHING in retort. They were utterly silent

I never had anyone say anything outloud to me but I have heard under breath remarks.

 

[quetiapina]

2 years ago I was verbally abused on a flight back from the USA. The super skinny passenger sitting behind me called me a fat slob amonst other things. She was angry as my seat was rocking when I moved, she said it was my fault as i was a big fat slob.

At the time I defended myself but I have really gone off the idea of getting on a plane. I haven't flown since. I know she was just a rude, drunken rat bag but I can't help but feel hurt by her remarks.

This is not the only time that I have experience abuse because of my weight but how can I move on?

To make things worse last year after my brother died suddenly so I had to have a heart scan. While in the machine I suffered a panic attack while having a heart scan. The scan had to be abandoned half way through as I was so distressed.

I hope when I lose more weight that I will get over these phobia's.

Does anyone else have any "fat phobia's" ?

What a horrible horrible woman.

My fat fears:

Crowded buses/trains - how many people am I going to hit with my thighs and bum.

The ever present plastic chair/ light weight metal chair issue.

Taking up too much room in a cafe.

Getting stuck in teeny tiny public loos.

Being seen eating in public (still a problem).

Entering clothing stores that are not "made" for me and the spiteful looks of the assistants.

Being wheeled in a wheel chair at hospital.

When I was a County advisor for behaviour in schools I would DREAD going into primary schools with their teeny mini chairs ( I originally taught secondary so they were a real shock).

House parties - using up too much room and not being able to sit down.

Falling over/downstairs. Would I ever get up again.

Getting stuck in the bath.

Breaking bath.

Breaking toilet seats (I broke 2).

The fear that Evans would run out of sizes.

Being in a pub environment when drunk people more likely to say things ( I did wallop one guy who was laughing and pointing at myself and friend v wrong but satistfying).

Using up too much room on public transport seats.

Being described as "Big Jen".

Picnic style benches - would I cause them to tip over if no-one sat on other side

The list goes on - I'm mainly over it now, as I feel more "normal" despite having a way to go. x

 

[Rebirth]

I have many fat fears, most of which have been voiced by those who have preceeded me. But I also have a lot of fat pride.
I love the way that babies/toddlers/children tend to stop crying when I cuddle them, because they feel comforted in my arms.
I love the fact that when I dress up I can look better than people expect me to, and I love the begrudging looks of admiration that I sometimes get from people. I like the fact that one of my ex-colleague's daughter always wanted to know what I wore to special events, as she loved my dress sense, which she found better than most of my slim colleagues. Alas this has changed somewhat in recent years. I love the fact that if for some reason my children get seperated from me they are more likely to spot me in the crowd. I love the fact that I have met so many wonderful people on my weight gain and weight loss journey. It is now time for me to find out the things that I'll love as a thinner person.

Rebirth

 

[gingernutter]

Thank you for sharing. It is good to know that I am not alone in my concerns. When these things happen you can feel very alone and wounded.

Carol

Special thanks to Carol, you have always been here to help mend my broken heart.

Rebirth

What a fantastic and up lifting attitude. I have never thought of thing in that way. You have made me think of many positive times in my life which have been buried under the other other negative things. While I am still learning to live my new life I will also try to have a positive attitude.

Thank you guys

 

[hopelesscase]

((((((hugs sarah)))))))

 

[salski]

I have many fat fears, most of which have been voiced by those who have preceeded me. But I also have a lot of fat pride.
I love the way that babies/toddlers/children tend to stop crying when I cuddle them, because they feel comforted in my arms.
I love the fact that when I dress up I can look better than people expect me to, and I love the begrudging looks of admiration that I sometimes get from people. I like the fact that one of my ex-colleague's daughter always wanted to know what I wore to special events, as she loved my dress sense, which she found better than most of my slim colleagues. Alas this has changed somewhat in recent years. I love the fact that if for some reason my children get seperated from me they are more likely to spot me in the crowd. I love the fact that I have met so many wonderful people on my weight gain and weight loss journey. It is now time for me to find out the things that I'll love as a thinner person.

Rebirth

Fantastic post hun! Absolutely fantastic!

 

[Rebirth]

Thanks for your comments Gingernutter and Salski. I'm glad that it helped you remember some of the positive times in your life. We are who we are because of and not despite our experiences on lifes journey.

Rebirth