Am I doing the right thing?

[fab40]

I am sitting here at home and thinking am I doing the right thing?...

Having my band fitted on Saturday and today i am all over the place. Maybe I am over thinking everything but I have been thinking alot about my relationship with food and how i like food which has got me in the position i am now.

I am not a big eater, never been big on take aways or going out for dinner all the time but here I am after dieting from the age of 11 to 38 and about to have surgery to hopefully bring on and help me maintain weightloss. I can tell you the calorie content or the fat gram or how much protein you should have etc... Like most of us on here we have done the diets, done them all, WW, SW, LL to name a few.. I have always lost weight with diets but then got to a stage where have craved food and then eaten them and then disapointed myself and then carried on not looking at what I am eating and here I am at the weight I am. I am now morbidly obese and dont have any fight or confidence in myself to want to exersise in public or really do anything if I am honest... I have reached that point.

I think what I am fearing the most is will I let myself down again and can i do this? Apart from the GA which does frighten me, the operation is the easiest part but am i going to cope with eating so little, using food as fuel rather than enjoyment and will i be able to be the person i want to be jogging in the park and be a scrummy mummy! Oh God i hope so as this is a lot of money and feels like a last chance solution.

Am I going to a just to this new life with the band?

I am sorry if I seem negative right now and this is a bit long. But I think I am saying goodbye to food and an old life of being the way I am and getting in the right mind set and in the zone to be sucessful in this band journey

Has anyone else gone through these thoughts?

Anyway it is what it is for all of us, never thought I would be this emotional about it all...:cry:

Thanks everyone so far for all your support and advise on here it is a lifeline.

Love Jane xx

 

[top_kat]

Oh Jane, yes I have these thoughts.It is hard to imagine how you can eat so little and still feel full up. Today I've had half glass of OJ, half a glass of apple juice, 1 tea and 1 coffee and am so full its untrue lol.

I think if we can adjust our mind to know that its a tool to help us and that it isn't going to do it all, I think that can help. but those fears, doubts, questions both pre and post surgery are only natural, especially when you bring into mind your son and your role as Mum

I think it is a case of being able to say goodbye, it is a life changing thing . . .a new start.

You're going to be fab at 40

If you ever want to chat, or if you want a text buddy or anything at all, let me know, I know what its like to have these thoughts and fears and we're not that far in time away from being "op'd" on lol

Kat x

 

[truffle♥]

I had all these thoughts too. I was a total mess leading up to the surgery. Like you i have tried all the diets and even lost 5 stone on lighter life a few years back. I must have spent hundreds of pounds over the years on diets and diet stuff. I have no faith in myself really following all those failures.
However since the op ( 7 days) Im feeling better and better each day, starting to feel more in control and very exited for the future.
You are definately doing the right thing xx

 

[skinnygirlbreakingout]

Truffle... I did lighter life about 5 years ago, lost 4 1/2 stone, got ill and had to stop and put it all back on plus some. I'm pre op and have doubts every few days but having failed so miserably so many times this is my last chance and I'm going to embrace it! You sound like its going ok so far good luck with it all x

 

[sagadojo]

Really feel the same as you Jane without sounding dramatic is is kind of like saying goodbye to food but I guess we will be satisfied with less even of the good stuff so won't be as hard but I am concerned about the head cravings and not being satisfied in my mind. As you said it is changing the mindset that food is fuel and not anything more than that. But I do believe we will still enjoy a wide variety of food we like and not feel as deprived and hard done by when on diets such as ll and cd. I keep drilling it into my head that I am doing this for my health and my children and they are probably what will get me in the car on Friday and thru the door of the hospital! Stay strong you have come this far it is a positive thing you are doing. we are the same age and better doing this now than getting to our 60,s and wishing we had done it earlier. Sorry bit of a ramble!!
Sarah x

 

[Mazza]

Jane it might not seem so but its good that you are mourning the loss of food as a friend pre op.

One of the hardest things for me post op was doing so - but you do get through it and you do learn what fuel you need to be succesful.

Good luck xx

 

[queenofbelfastcity]

Jane I could have written that post myself... I am same as you 38 hoping to be fab by 40... Have children, scared about the cost, felt terribly selfish to spend sooo much on myself (when we need new bathroom, kitchen, extension, decent holiday etc)
Even as I lay down on the operating table I almost stopped them ... But I didn't and I am so glad.
I am 5 weeks post op, altogether I have lost about 21lbs.. And have my first fill tomorrow ... I have done every diet known and failed on everyone... Am terrified of needles and scared to death about tomorrow. BUT I also realise this is not a diet, it's a change of attitude and way of life, I couldn't carry on as I was and while I don't ever think I will jog anywhere I do know I will be healthier and therefore better able to deal with life .... So happier and that has to be a good thing. I know it won't be overnight for me I won't manage 5 stone in 6 months like some on here.
Ultimately I want to be the mum/wife my family deserve and for that to happen I need to be a bit selfish for a while... Really really hope all goes well for you and I think it's completely normal to have doubts... It's probably a little odd not to question such a big decision... But you know what- you are going to be fine xxxxxxxx

 

[brollie]

Tomorrow @ Dolan Park

Jane I could have written that post myself... I am same as you 38 hoping to be fab by 40... Have children, scared about the cost, felt terribly selfish to spend sooo much on myself (when we need new bathroom, kitchen, extension, decent holiday etc)
Even as I lay down on the operating table I almost stopped them ... But I didn't and I am so glad.
I am 5 weeks post op, altogether I have lost about 21lbs.. And have my first fill tomorrow ... I have done every diet known and failed on everyone... Am terrified of needles and scared to death about tomorrow. BUT I also realise this is not a diet, it's a change of attitude and way of life, I couldn't carry on as I was and while I don't ever think I will jog anywhere I do know I will be healthier and therefore better able to deal with life .... So happier and that has to be a good thing. I know it won't be overnight for me I won't manage 5 stone in 6 months like some on here.
Ultimately I want to be the mum/wife my family deserve and for that to happen I need to be a bit selfish for a while... Really really hope all goes well for you and I think it's completely normal to have doubts... It's probably a little odd not to question such a big decision... But you know what- you are going to be fine xxxxxxxx

Hi Queen, what time are you there tomorrow, I am there at 3pm for my first fill xx

 

[Durhamlass14]

Its natural to feel that way, but its the best thing I ever did and for sure you have good and bad days that will never change but the bad days become fewer as you learn to live with your new friend The Band!!

 

[queenofbelfastcity]

Brollie I am there at 12, am terrified of needles and sat at dentist this morning waiting for check up so it's needle filled day boo x