Anorexic Mentality???

[Pandora_150]

Hi all,

Well I'm finally what I would class as a 'normal' weight: 12 Stone 4 Lbs (at a tidgy 5 foot 4 inch). It still puts me at being in the top end of the overweight category, and I would love to loose the last 2 stone to take me to a 'normal' BMI.

However, in the past 2 days I have had 2 different people talk to me about my weight loss and say to me that I shouldn't loose any more weight and that I look fantastic as I am. They both said that I looked great as I was and that I didn't want to look too thin by loosing any more weight. The first was a lady I have know for about a year and is what I would call a close colleague. And the second was the lady on the reception at the hospital I go to a lot (I had my bypass there, and I go for regular Thyroid test).

To a lot of people this would sound like a good thing... however, I am worried (not because of what they said) but because of my 2 instinctual reactions to it.

First of all basically I couldn't agree with them that I was thin! I honestly don't think that I am! I know it takes a while for your head to catch up with your body, I am the first one to say that to everyone, however just can't seam to believe it myself. I know I have lost weight, and I know I am now a size 12/14. But as far as I'm concerned I am NOT thin I am still really fat.

This lead to my second reaction: that I HAD to loose more weight. I wasn't thin enough and I need to loose SO much more!

However, when I look back at these thoughts I'm worried I am taking an anorexic mentality, that no matter what other people say I will always think I'm fat. And as a result of these comments I have found myself excessively trying to restrict my diet. However, I am hoping I have caught this before it escalates and I am purposefully trying to counter these thoughts. Please do not get me wrong - my diet has its up days and its down days (yesterday for examples was a pure and simple very very naughty snacking day, however these thoughts seam to be dominating over the hungry thoughts) - and I generally eat between 700 and 1300 Kcal per day. However, lately its been more towards the 700 Kcal in an attempt to restrict my intake and up my weight loss.

I hope people realise why I have posted this in the 6 months + forum, as it can really give the wrong impression to pre-ops, and to be fair I was worried about their reactions. I know a lot of this is me venting my thoughts, feelings and frustrations; however, I am wondering if anyone else has gone through something similar to this, and maybe someone has some advice to help me counter this before it gets out of hand.

Steph x

 

[gaelic girl]

Hi Steph
We seem to have similar weights and heights and i too am a size 12/14and i need to loose another stone to take me to a healthy bmi, yet like you i too have had comments to say don't lose anymore weight or you will be too skinny. SKINNY !me! I think we all go through a period of "mourning" for the person we were, not that we would go back but we have lost our security blanket and its scary at times. You need to be eating that 1000 calories to keep losing weight as it will slow down maybe even stall if you don't eat enough. I have always eaten little and often and couldn't do it any other way as i do get hungry! Old habits are hard to break and i think the fear of going back to the habits that got us into a mess in the 1st place will always come back to haunt us now and again. Can you speak to your team and see if they can give you any suggestions, i'm sure you will get beyond this feeling and try not to worry! You have done fantasically well with your loss so far but please keep eating and drinking those fluids as they will keep your weight loss going. God that was a bit of a ramble and not sure if it helps but we are all here to help xx

 

[Lisa J]

Hi Steph, my mum said to me the other day 'i really think you've lost enough weight now' i couldnt believe i'd ever hear someone say that to me! I said to her 'dont be silly i still weigh 12 stone'! I'd try not to worry too much if i was you your body will let you know when you've lost enough but please eat your full calorie allowance xxx

 

[Pandora_150]

Hi Lisa and Allie, thank you both for your replies.

I'm really glad I'm not the only one who wants to loose more weight, even when people start saying I'm looking good, and don't need to loose any more.

I'm in a much better mood today regarding this. The way I'm looking at it is that: the important thing is the way I feel, not the way other people perceive me. And if I want to loose more weight to make me feel comfortable within myself, then why shouldn't I.

I guess I also scared myself a little when reading how much more I can eat than other post-oppers of a similar a similar stage. For example, a thread came up a while ago about eating wraps, and I for one can eat 3/4 to a full one (6") in one go; yet others can't tolerate one bite! I was quite nervous to post my reality as it seamed significantly different to everyone else's! This also contributed to me feeling the need to restrict even more!

As you've both said I will keep up with my calorie intake and try not to eat excessively or excessively restrict. I just hope people can learn that eating problems don't go away just because you've had a bypass!

I guess I'm just a little nervous that I will go back into the same thought and behaviour patterns that I had when I had bulimia.

Again thanks.

Steph x

 

[Caroline101061]

someone who saw me for the first time in 18 months last week told me I looked fantastic and it got me thinking - the last time I was this weight, everyone told me I was too fat and needed to lose weight and now cause of how big I was, its suddenly acceptable.

Im 5ft 3 and the scales are stuck on 13.10 and have been for about 5 weeks now but my body is losing inches.

Still the point I wanted to make was that I feel that whilst I look much better than I did, Im still at least 2 stone away from goal and thats where I want to be and thats what will make me and my surgeon happy so stick to your goal - doesnt seem unrealistic at all.

 

[thinnerangela]

I never believed I would lose anything like I have done.

The only person who has told me I've lost enough is my elderly next door neighbour though the dental hygienist and the nurse couldn't believe I wasn't at the magic BMI of 25 yet.

I think it is hard saying goodbye to the over weight person we were - I certainly find it hard to sya goodbye to fat Angela - Did you know she was invisible and no-one noticed her? Yeah in my head!! No-one notices me now thats for sure.

I want to get to 10 stone 13 because I can and now the magic BMI of 25 is possible and if I get there it will be great - I think it might be too much but time will tell

YOU have to lose as little or as much as YOU feel comfortable with and as long as you don't feel or look ill then that should be alright for others!!

You look absolutely fantastic by the way - even slimmer in the flesh!! (so to speak lol!!)

Angela xx

 

[Lisa J]

Your most welcome Steph and just between you and me i can eat a whole 6'' wrap as well !

 

[Porpo]

This happened to me last time I lost a lot of weight. I got to about 15 stone (I'm 5f9) and my sister in particular insisted that I was thin enough now and please stop. Other people also commented that I must not get too skinny. At the time I was still like 4 stone over my health BMI so I put it down to their insecurities. I think it's really threatening to people when you start challenging how they see you and how they compare you to themselves.

Also I can eat a whole wrap too now and I'm getting so frustrated with the scales not moving it's driving me towards the biscuit tin!! How messed up is that!
xxxxxx

 

[rosejohnson]

I get the same thing often, and I just say to people "you can't see what I look like under these clothes" as it's my tummy thigh hip and bum area that is still carrying all the weight.

People just see the difference in our faces.

When my BMI was higher and people said it, I would just say that I did this to get healthy and there was very little point stopping before I was medically healthy as I would get just as much concern expressed by my GP as I did when I was morbidly obese and that I owed it to myself to be healthy.

Rx