Another funny one..

[jema]

A man and a woman were sitting next to each other in an airplane.
The woman sneezed, took out a tissue, gently wiped her nose, and visibly shuddered for ten to fifteen seconds. This went on over and over. Finally the man said...
" Are you ok?"
"I am sorry I have a medical condition; whenever I sneeze I have an orgasm."
The man asked, "Are you taking anything for it?"
The woman nodded....... "Pepper".....

 

[chloe79]

lol thats defo a good 1 like

 

[Caren]

Remember guys:

If you're in bed with a blind girl, and she says shes never had her hands on a willie as big as yours, shes probably pulling your leg!

 

[jema]

:8855:That's a good one Caren.:8855:

 

[Wendy1]

Loved them two jokes, keep them coming girls. xx

 

[Caren]

as i sat there winding my hair through my fingers, i thought to myself, i really must shave my ass

 

[Kath in Buxton]

Brilliant x

 

[Josiegirl]

Paddy and Murphy were building and Murphy was nailing the floorboards. He picked up a nail and used it and then discarded the next one and picked up another to use. This went on for a while until Paddy asked him,

"Oi Murphy why are you throwing away so many nails?" Murphy replied,

"Well Paddy some of them are the wrong way up." Paddy laughed,

"Don't be daft Murphy, you save the upside down ones for the ceiling."

 

[Caren]

my friend went to the doctors the other day and said "doc, i think im going deaf"
doc said "can you describe the symptoms?"

my friends said "well marge has big blue hair and homer has a big yellow face!"

 

[TwinkleTwinkle]

bahahahahahaha Jema ..... Is this condition contagious ???

 

[TwinkleTwinkle]

my friend went to the doctors the other day and said "doc, i think im going deaf"
doc said "can you describe the symptoms?"

my friends said "well marge has big blue hair and homer has a big yellow face!"

Nutter xx

 

[jema]

‎Two drunks visit a brothel.The Madam takes a look at them & says to her manager, "Go put inflatable dolls in 2 bedrooms. These guys are too drunk to notice"
During the walk home, one says "I think my girl was dead. She never moved or made a sound"
The 2nd guy says,"I think mine was a witch" "Why do you think that" asks his friend. "Well, I bit her arse, she farted in my face and then flew out of the flamin' window...

 

[Caren]

Nutter xx

why thank you dear friend

 

[lamornamiss]

Keep it up girls

 

[Miss Tickle]

ROFL !!! You lot are better than the telly. Thank you so much- all hilarious !!!

 

[TwinkleTwinkle]

why thank you dear friend

Have to tell the truth ... fortunately I am also a nutter xxx mwah mwah

 

[TwinkleTwinkle]

A man decided to have a face lift for his birthday. He spends 4,000 grand and feels really good about the result. On his way home he stops at a newsstand, buys a paper and says to the sales clerk, "I hope you don't mind me asking, but how old do you think I am?"

"About 34," was the reply.
"I'm actually 46," says the man happily.

About a while later he went for lunch to McDonald's and asks the order taker the same question, to which the reply is, "I'm guessing that you're about 30?"
"Nope, I am actually 46." He's starting to feel really good about himself.

While standing at the bus stop he asks an old woman the same question.
She replies, "I am 85 years old and my eyesight is poor. But when I was young there was a sure way of telling a man's age. If I put my hand down your pants and play with your p*nis for ten minutes I will be able to tell your exact age."

As there was no one else around the man thought what the hell and let her slip her hand down his pants.
Ten minutes later the old lady says, "OK, it's done. I know you're 46"
Stunned, the man says, "That was brilliant! How did you do that?"
The old lady replies, "I was behind you at McDonald's".

​

 

[lynne08]

A man decided to have a face lift for his birthday. He spends 4,000 grand and feels really good about the result. On his way home he stops at a newsstand, buys a paper and says to the sales clerk, "I hope you don't mind me asking, but how old do you think I am?"

"About 34," was the reply.
"I'm actually 46," says the man happily.

About a while later he went for lunch to McDonald's and asks the order taker the same question, to which the reply is, "I'm guessing that you're about 30?"
"Nope, I am actually 46." He's starting to feel really good about himself.

While standing at the bus stop he asks an old woman the same question.
She replies, "I am 85 years old and my eyesight is poor. But when I was young there was a sure way of telling a man's age. If I put my hand down your pants and play with your p*nis for ten minutes I will be able to tell your exact age."

As there was no one else around the man thought what the hell and let her slip her hand down his pants.
Ten minutes later the old lady says, "OK, it's done. I know you're 46"
Stunned, the man says, "That was brilliant! How did you do that?"
The old lady replies, "I was behind you at McDonald's".

​

... tee hee hee hee ho ho ho hee hee hee ...... cracked me up!!! xxx