Any Sleevers with young children?

[Beth72]

Hi, I'm due to have a sleeve in 3 weeks time & was wondering about childcare for my children post op. I have a toddler & a baby & my husband will be taking just 2 weeks off work to help post surgery.

Did others find their energy levels / pain levels / physical capabilities so early post operatively affected whether they were able to look after their young children? I ask because if it could be a problem, I could arrange now for my toddler to go to nursery full time (goes 3 days a week now) for a few weeks (up to 6 weeks post op possibly). Obviously the expense is there, so I'd appreciate any advice about how much I'm likely to be able to do & when I should be able to resume normal activities & be able to have energy etc to look after both children alone during the day.

Thank you x

 

[JoJoTGirl]

Hi there. I had my sleeve almost 8 weeks ago today (seems ages ago now!) and I have a 6 year old and a 4 year old. My Mother in Law came to stay for two weeks (including the 3 nights / 4 days when I was in hospital) and during that time I built up some strength by doing a bit more eash day. After then I was able to do nearly everything but mine are both at school so although I had to walk them there and back each day, I did also have time to rest whilst they were out. Lifting them is the biggest problem as you really do need to avoid it for 5-6 weeks (to avoid ruptures and wound hernias etc) and although my kids were very good in "helping Mummy out" by climbing into bath / beds etc etc it sounds like yours are a bit smaller than mine so may not be able to help you so much.
Pain isn't really much of a problem for non lifting / stretching tasks after a couple of weeks - stitches come out 10 days later (that doesn't hurt at all - got myself in a real pickle worrying about that and can reassure you not to!) and then takes a couple more days for them to not be sore at after that as the were previously covered. Energy levels come up day by day and the more you get going, the better you feel believe it or not. You need to fit in a bit of a walk each day and that helps loads as you don't stiffen up or get windy. I'd say your main worry will be lifting and you run the risk of popping a hernia if you do it (probably get away with a baby, but not a toddler!). By the time you get to my stage (nerly 8 weeks later) and you've shifted a few stone and feel great about yourself, you'll wonder how you ever did it all before and the op will be dim and distant memory. Really good luck! Shout if you have any more specific / gorey questions......I'm not shy (at least not on forums! lol). x

 

[Beth72]

Thanks JoJo for replying - it's been a useful insight to hear 1st hand from someone so fresh out of surgery. Sounds like you're still really pleased with your sleeve & your weight losses sound amazing - stones!! I'm finding it hard to imagine losing pounds at the minute, never mind stones lol - although have my pre op a week tomorrow, so this week will hopefully be the demise of the crappy foods for me - got a night out arranged at the weekend to say farewell to cider!!! Have many noticed you shrinking yet?

My baby weighs almost as much as my toddler - about 20lb, so guess I'm going to have to take it really easy - he isn't get crawling which is a relief, as he's easy to keep up with, unlike my toddler!! I'm actually looking forward to the possibility of running after him, rather than getting out of puff just walking to keep up! Think I'll definitely arrange for him to go to nursery 5 days a week for a month after surgery as I know there won't be any other help once my husband returns to work. As for the baby - can't really avoid some lifting 2 weeks post surgery, although will try to keep minimal.

Are you still finding the sleeve helps to curb your appetite still? Have you found a lot that you can't tolerate yet? Also wondered if you've had head hunger much since sleeve & what strategies you've used to get over it - that's my biggest worry I guess, as stress is a trigger & as we all know, it's unavoidable at times! X

 

[JoJoTGirl]

To start with I wasn't hungry at all....ever, but now and again I am feeling both head hunger and proper hunger (head starts buzzing and can't quite think straight!) Some days I seem to need more food than others but even on days when I don't really fancy eating, I try and make sure I have minimum 3 x meals and 2 x snacks anyway as I find that I lose less if I drop below that. Often I have 3 x meals, 3 x snacks and some milk though and that keeps my head and my tum happy and my weight loss steady. I haven't had any trouble with tolerating food (either puree or proper food) at all since my op but then I am having very, very small portions in comparison to some people and am sticking to the rules re protein first etc, also not trying to eat silly things like white bread etc. For example: 1 x cracker + 1 x dairylea light triangle would be my lunch or just a couple of slices of thin cooked turkey would also be enough. I do eat a whole weight watchers yoghurt now but it does make me feel stuffed! If you're full, it's alot easier to not want to keep eating. lol.

I have been eating teeny portions of the food I feed my family (almost always home cooked from scratch) and have just started eating out again now.....either choosing a starter if they are nice / suitable or just having a bit of my husbands and / or the kids leftovers!

I'm determined not to abstain from everything "nice" forever though but try and become a "normal" person eating mainly good, healthy food with a teeny bit of naughty stuff now and then. I have therefore had 2 biscuits (2 weeks apart) and also 2 squares of dairymilk (again not at the same time) and I also had a single profiterole after a big family dinner this Sunday too and I really enjoyed them but be warned I think that having a little bit of your own personal favourites (sweet things for me) make the head hunger worse for a day or so after, so I will have to be careful.

Some sleevers get dumping if they eat too much sugar / fat......literally just straight out the other end....but I haven't tested whether I would too yet as haven't pushed it. I'm sure I will at some point, but I'm pleased with myself that I haven't yet! : ))
Do you know which prep diet you are doing and for how long?

 

[Beth72]

Wow, it's amazing how little you eat & are satisfied - basically it sounds like post op is following a very low cal diet, without the temptation to blow it, because a) you can't & b) you don't need to eat more as you're physically full, something you aren't on a normal low cal diet!

I understand my pre op diet is low fat diet, rather than a milk or yoghurt diet - will know more after my appt nxt Wed. They like you to follow it for 10 days, so it'll be just over in my case.

Got the cheque printed off today to pay for the surgery & my mind has been playing a tug of war with me. It's such a lot of money & I'd caught a glimpse of a magazine article where a girl had lost 8 stone through slimming world. Made me feel a bit of a failure that I haven't even given slimming world a go since having my children & seem to have comfort eaten to where I am now, with no control - resigned myself to giving up with dieting, with surgery as last option.

I keep having flash thoughts that maybe if I tried SW, I may manage to stick to it & lose the 9 stone that I need & save the money........then I remember the very slow journey & in the past I've managed about a month on a diet, maybe 2, then I'll blow it. Only this weekend my back has started to ache & I can't compensate by using my knees as they're knackered too! My weight really does affect every aspect of my life, so know ultimately the surgery will help - well, pray it will as it's my last hope. Hopefully these glitches are just my mind playing tricks on me, but I even called up to check the cancellation policy as think the doubt will be there until the day arrives & sending the cheque off will be scary too.

Cant remember if you told me Jo (apologies for baby brain), but did you/have you told many people about your sleeve? No one knows I'm having it hardly, so little bit worried what I'll tell people when I'm only on the puréed / liquid phase - a lot of my social time is spent drinking coffee & lunch with friends - may have to hibernate for a few weeks lol! X

 

[JoJoTGirl]

I too did the last minute "maybe I could do it if I tried again" thing, even promissed myself I would lose some weight and get match fit for the op and then if it went really well, I wouldn't need it!!!! Guess what???? No cigar! lol On a more positive note, I think spending £10k of my life savings might help keep me focussed! hehehe

I told my family (and hubs family) and some close friends before surgery as we spend lots of time together and eat out alot with them all too. They were nothing but supportive and seem to think I am "brave" for taking the plunge etc. They do all know that I openly admit to having a massive problem with food though and that I have tried diets (never nutty fad ones I hasten to add) many times and lost a few stone only to pile it all back on again and then some every year or so as I lose control. They also know that I over control every other aspect of my life as a result of my failure in that one. I've always been quite insightful in terms of why I am fat (eat too much and too much sweet stuff) but haven't been able to stop!

The fact that I seem to lose a few stone once a year every year (only to regain it all) seems to have staved off the questions for now as most people are used to me going down a bit now and again and so don't comment (possibly because they think it'll be going back on! lol). Imagine how liberating it is to know that's not going to happen this time!?!?! YAYYYYY!!!!!

I think if in the future I am asked I will pick and choose who I tell the absolute truth to and who I tell a version of the truth to. I think the old "I've been following a high protein, very low calorie diet supervised by a dietician" might do me for the persistent nosey types who you just know will gossip. Its not fibbing after all.

I have been able to go for coffees from a few weeks post surgery (in fact lattes will become your very good friends) and have jut started eating out again. We stayed in a lovel hotel in Wales for the weekend last week to attend a wedding and although I was dredding it, it wasn't too bad really. Luckily, my daughter don't really do the whole kids meal thing and rejected their nasty looking sausage and chips in a blink, so I happily shared my prawn cocktail, roast lamb and crumble and custard with them (it was an impromptu rescue, but I was very grateful as we were seated with lots of people we didn't know). At breakfast, although I asked for a single scrambled egg and one piece of bacon, they sent a plateful but as it was only us at the table I simply just didnt eat it. Since then have been to Frankie and Benny's and ordered a whitebait starter (kids also pinched a load of that too thank goodness as was still wayyyy too much) and yesterday went to a Harvester for a girly lunch. Ordered a chicken wrap (as starters didn't appeal). Had a teeny weeny salad - half a new potato, sprinkle of sweetcorn, grated carrot and beetroot. Waited a good while and then picked the saucy chicken out of half of the wrap.......the other half was passed around the table to "try". Done and very much enjoyed.

I never ate puree in front of anyone but my family though as it's more obvious and also a bit harder to eat to begine with aswell.

You'll be fine. The biggest thing is drinking out. If you don't want a tea or coffee, its water, water or water really as juices have too much sugar and fizzys are a complete no, no. Pub / restuarant squashes are also sugary. I have taken to keeping a little fruit shute bottle in my bag refilled with sugar free squash and explaining at the bar that I can't have fizzy's and need sugar free, so no option. No one has been funny yet.....I reckon they just assume I'm diabetic or something!

Right, must dash. Governors meeting tonight (yawn!).
Jo x

 

[robina]

its one of my worrys for after surgery as im a single mum of a disabled child and will only be able to have someone look after her while im acctually in the hospital. im thinking shes going to have to do more crawling than normal ( shes 7 and i carry her if shes unable to manage walking )

the phycologist did ask me how i was planning to cope but i guess its not something anyone can fully answer

 

[JoJoTGirl]

Do you have some friends / family who might be able to lend a bit of a hand for the first couple of weeks robina? I know I was very lucky having live in help but believe me, by the end of the second week I was itching to be left to it again. I'd say that if you just do the things that have to be done and not worry too much about the rest for a wee while, you'll be ok. It's amazing what we can all get through when we have to. Then, as the weight come off and you get a new lease of life you can catch up with all the other stuff. I keep finding myself doing horrible jobs I've been putting off for years as I have more energy and enthusiasm than before. Good luck huni. x

 

[Beth72]

Good luck Robina - it is tough with dependants to look after. This was the reason I was going to opt for the band initially, due to the quick recovery time & least invasive surgery; then after researching more, realised that it wasn't for me.

Do you have a respite care home / school that your daughter could maybe go for a couple of weeks after your op? I've booked my 2 into nursery for 3 weeks after hubby returns to work - doesn't come cheap though (almost £700), but it's piece of mind that they'll be looked after & I won't jeopardise my recovery.

Your posts are always encouraging JoJo - lattes already are part of my staple diet! Since having kids, don't get out for nights out much, so my beer money has been replaced with coffee money! Good that you're able to eat out now too & are able to eat 'normal' things.

I had dinner out last night with a few other mum friends & I debated over telling them about the sleeve, but didn't feel comfortable doing it, even after a few wines! may be harder to disguise post op tho as a lot of my week is spent either having coffee or lunch with them & I know initially I won't be able to do that, plus wont have the kids with me, which they'll also wonder about! Guess will see how I feel post op about telling them, or have a few colds or such excuses lined up for being unable to meet for a few weeks! X

 

[Eve30]

Hi! I have 3 kids aged 10,6 and 2 and they moved into my parents for a week as would not have been able to lift the 2 year old so yes some help is def needed. I have been open about my sleeve since day 1 as I feel it's important for people to know that there's no magic and I needed help and received the help! I'm thrilled with my new look and feel a much better mother and wife now! Good luck xxx

 

[robina]

my sister will have her while im in hospital but she works so wont be available to help much. my wee girl goes to school and stops to after school activitys 3 days a week but no other support as she no longer qualifies for the local hospice

im just hoping when ever i have the surgery she will be managing well enough that im not having to lift her and that she will want to spend time cuddled up on the sofa for a couple of weeks lol

jojo i cant say im looking forward to horrible jobs but i am looking forward to just enjoying days out without pain or having to worry what other people think of me