anyone have opposition from friends?

[Snow White]

My best friend for the last 20 years told me she would never speak to me again if I had surgery. She basically called me a sell out. That obviously she is the only person in my life who cares enough to tell me the truth. Anyone else deal with this?

 

[BigDave99]

My best friend for the last 20 years told me she would never speak to me again if I had surgery. She basically called me a sell out. That obviously she is the only person in my life who cares enough to tell me the truth. Anyone else deal with this?

Wow, not nice. To be very honest I have not told many of my friends just my close family and friends that i know will not judge me.

I guess it is in fear of what has happened to you, I think we need to remember that simply the fact that we are at a point in our life's that has got us even thing about WLS then we know it is the wright thing for us.

You are doinging this for you and not your friends.

Be strong.

BigDave

 

[joffy01582]

maybe you've found what a real friend she is just remember your health and family come first

 

[Big an Bouncy]

Is she big herself?jealous that you might get slimmer than her?You dont need such negativity in your life,ask her why she cant be happy for you.If she loves you she would want you to be healthy and happy.

 

[BEXS99]

Hi hun, is she worried about you, whats her reason for this, if she was a proper friend then she should support you. I know a few of my friends have been talking about my surgery behind my back which annoyed me as ask me to my face. x

 

[mandym1]

If she has worries or concerns she needs to talk through them with you not give you ultimatums!! You have to make this decision for yourself and no one else. Good Luck x

 

[Stellap]

Some people don't like change but you have to ask are there any hidden issues that she has or is she just being protective/worried? Some friends you have for life, others come and go. There are times when you have to be totally selfish and do what is best for yourself and your health - you have to sleep with yourself at the end of the day. Good luck, I hope she just said that out of fear.

 

[Travellingman]

Wow, snowwhite what does your friend think you are selling out on? Obesity, ridicule, health problems, a shorter life span? Tell her needs to grow up! Bigtime.

 

[tink1974]

my friends were genuinely worried about the enormity (excuse the pun) of having a bypass done but they also knew that there was a good chance i could be dead in a few yrs if i didnt do anything. They have been an amazing support. Your friend is obv having issues with you finally getting a real chance at getting rid of your excess weight - if shes not careful she could end up losing your friendship which would leave a gaping hole in her life i'm sure.
If she is a really close friend, have a very honest & frank discussion about what she said - tell her how it made u feel - good friends dont just wash their hands off u.

hugs
x

 

[chubby funster]

What a shane your friend feels like this. Thankfully I've only ever had one real friend who made a comment about surgery being a cop out. This friend has struggled with her weight for many years too but lost an awful lot recently with WW. But we sat down and I explained that it was not the easy option and just discussed the whole process. Thankfully she supports me fully now! I've also had a couple of comments (not made directly at me) VIA Facebook friends that make me cross, but only because of people's lack of understanding. I hope your friend will explain her feelings to you and you can get it sorted! X

 

[Snow White]

Basically, we have always been fat together. She went ballistic and said obviously nobody in my life cares about me or they would oppose it as well. My husband who supports my decision either way would rather have a dead wife than a fat one. Its unreal the barrage of crap i am getting. Thanks everyone for sharing and the advice. My decision is made if i can get funding. I just can't believe how ridiculous some people are.

 

[zoesmith]

hi i had the same thing with my husband he did not like the idea of me having it done although he did say he would support me if i went through with it which i did as i was doing it for me not for him or anyone eles. it is hard though as i dont feel as i can talk to him about it but there is other people around me,if shes ment to be such a good friend she should be supporting you through this weather she likes it or not thats what friends are for .

 

[tasha82]

Sorry the thing im more concerened about, if i have read the post right?? Your husband would rather have a dead wife, than a fat one?????? WTF PLEASE tell me thats a mistype!!!!

 

[tasha82]

also it sounds more like your friend is jelous that you will no longer be 'fatties' together, you will soon be her thin friend. My best friend also of over 20 years fully suports me with surgery, infact she is one of the people that sugested it to me, but she is 9st nothing, so me being slim doesnt bother her, she would prefere to see me slim & happy than fat & unhappy, which I am now.
Do you think your friend could secretly want surgery herself???

 

[Snow White]

The dead wife thing is my friends theory because my husband is supporting my decision. In her eyes that means he must not care if i die as a result of surgery. I'm fairly sure he would like me alive fat or thin lol.
I think she does want the surgery on some level. But, it is the fat buddies thing I think.

 

[tasha82]

O.k, sorry, I thought you meant your husband had said that!! Phew its a relief to find he didnt!! Lol.
But does sound like she's more worried about being the fat one in the group now rather than having someone else to be large with. but if you feel surgery is the way to go for you, then do it no matter what anyone says, and if she really is a good friend she will get over herself, and you never know if she sees you start loosing weight she may soon be telling you she herself is getting surgery!!!!

 

[Snow White]

Lol no if my husband said anything like that. The name of the thread would have been "anyone know how to dispose of a body? " Lmao!

 

[tasha82]

yer, defo. LMAO

 

[shelbell]

My best friend at the time I got funding who had been my best friend since school dropped me like a hot potato before I had my surgery. I hadn't told anyone except my hubby that I was going through the hoops to get funding, which annoyed her, but I think most of it was the prospective loss of her comfort friend. Someone with whom she would always be the prettiest, the one the men liked, the skinny one etc. She was very insecure and had a history of going for my boyfriends. Anyway, I've moved on, made new friends who are far better for me, and don't regret my decisions. Yes it hurt like heck for a long time, but it's her loss.

Oh, and I saw a photo of her on a mutual friend's FB page and since having a baby she's piled on a few stone. Ha. Ha. Ha!

Sent from my iPhone using Forum Runner

 

[minxie]

Poor you, it's tough when your best friend can't support you. I've been very lucky with my closest friends saying that if I've decided it's right for me then they are right behind me. Perhaps your friend has only heard horror stories about surgery and is genuinely worried that she'll lose you. Perhaps you could direct her to BOSPA website to read it and find out all about it.

It could, of course, be that she's jealous......that's a bit harder to deal with. Perhaps she needs support too, but it's a bit hard for you to have to deal with her. Don't let her persuade you out of it, and you'll just have to sit tight and see if she wont have anything to do with you once you have had your op. She's probably scared that you wont need her anymore