Ashamed

[J-Mo]

My team at work have won a prize which means we're off to watch a cricket match tomorrow from the comfort of an executive box!!

Great you might think BUT not for me. I went to look for a dress today & looked in the mirror of the changing room & was truly ashamed. What the hell have I done to myself!?? I look horrendous. Big. Fat. Ugly & Bloated.

Apart from the depression, living like a recluse, constant aches & pains etc. I am ashamed at the way I look. I'm an absolute mess. How the hell am I supposed to enjoy myself when I just want to hide away. But it'll be same as always, I'll down the wine to try & get myself a bit confidence then I'll be the funny fat lass making everyone laugh. Whilst inside feeling like I wanna die!!

Looks like I might get my bypass in November. Cant come too soon for me. I'd walk in front of a bus but it would probably just bounce off me............

Hope everyone has better day than I expect to.

 

[Tracey ( eyore)]

oh hun sorry you feeling so down, i really hope you do enjoy your day tomorrow xxx

 

[Sambucca]

J-Mo you have summed up exactly how I used to feel if I had somewhere to go pre-op. In fact sometimes I would make feeble excuses, even to my closest friends so I didnt have to go. I was so ashamed of how I looked.

I wish I had a magic wand to make you feel better. Your op isnt too far away, and soon you will start to see an improvement in your appearance and your confidence. I'm afraid I have no wise words to tell you how to cope in the meantime though.

Big hugs xx

 

[J-Mo]

Thanks Sam & Tracey! I just read my thread & don't I sound like a pathetic big fat baby!! But I think I'll be making my excuses & not go, I just cant face it!!

Take care

 

[IRJ]

Exactly the same as me J-MO but there is a light at the end of the tunnel THE SURGERY trust me it will change your life around has it has done with me i had all the symptoms you have and now they have all been resolved, keep positive things wiil change xx

 

[phatmomma]

You sound so sad and that's such a shame.

If you can stand it go get yourself a new outfit, take someone with you to help you choose one as we larger ladies are probably more critical of ourselves than we need to be.. Try and look at it this way, this is going to be your pre op photo, never again will you go out on a works 'do' feeling how you feel right now....

Keep your chin up, you're a beautiful lady and i'm sure you do not look as awful as you see yourself to be xx

Massive hugs and love coming your way whichever you decide to do xxx

 

[RoseA]

I'm sure we've all been there... I know I have. I've got myself out of a number of social occasions for the same reason - I even made up an excuse not to go to my cousin's wedding. Hang on in there J-Mo, it won't be long now ! Take care x

 

[j.u.s.t.l.i.z.]

Jacci i worked out the dates last night we will both be looking at the middle of November, im also feeling down about waiting and finding it hard to try and keep my weight down, do you fancy joining some of us girls from our support group tomorrow (Saturday) for a natter and a Coffee at Dalton Park, if so it would be lovely to see you x

 

[BlueDiamond]

 

[dottychic]

Hi hun,
I really hope you are feeling a little better, I know that feeling so well, I wont go anywhere unless I really REALLY have to! I think all of us can relate to you, but at least we are doing something about it! Before long we will be able to look in the mirror and like what we see, if we are really lucky we might even love it! Try and stay positive for a while longer, and try not to be too hard on yourself.
Big ((HUGS)) coming your way XX

 

[Mamma Chef]

I agree with everyones comments, and if you do come to Dalton on Saturday I might see you there. I will be the one who is pushing a car that doesn't start around the car park!!

I also think it is a good idea to try to think of this as the last dress you buy in this size, take your pre op photo and watch how you will be changing soon...then you will be so proud of yourself.

I think we all know how you are feeling right now, where we have all our entire wardrobe on the bed and you are sitting crying because of the way you feel you look. What ever you decide hold your head up high and try to get through this one. November isn't to far away. hope you are ok hun xx

 

[thinkbethin]

i lived like that too for far too long. Making any excuse up I could think of not to go. The main reason was the fact that I could never find anything nice to fit me unless. The only clothes that would fit would be designed for a ninety year old lol. Don't be too hard on yourself sweetheart. By christmas you'll be out there enjoying yourself without a care in the world what others think.xxxx

 

[J-Mo]

Thanks every1! I went dressed in my new marquee, sorry top!! As usual, I have few drinks & was the 'funny fat lass'. Couldn't wait to get home, have bath & get my pj's home. Hence to say that there are no photo's of me, I've posted them on Facebook.

Hope everyone has a loely week-end & I am sorry to be a horrible miserable cow. But I just feel so fat, bloated, uncomfortable & ugly at mo...

 

[Mamma Chef]

You are not a miserable................... you done it! Well done you.
I went to the coffee afternoon had a great time chatting away..met some really nice people, I got home and put my jim jams on too. Roll on November for you hun, take care...again well done xx

 

[J-Mo]

I managed yesterday but have spent today in a state of severe depression, I could just go to sleep & never wake up.

Sorry but I could not face seeing or talking to anyone today!! Last thing u need to see is daft fat cow sat blubbering away!! But I will, come hell or high water be at meeting end of this month!!

Take care everyone................

 

[mike135]

Hi J-Mo, I have just read your thread and just wanted to say that the WLS journey can be a very stressful one, full of up's and down's. I hope you feel better soon, just try and think towards the future, and your goal at the end. Good luck for the future! Chin up! x