Me2014edition
New Member
I've decided to journal my journey as a way to write my thoughts down and get out what I can't to say out loud. I've done an intro on the intro message board but here's my story from the beginning.
I started having body image issues in my teens as most teen girls do. At 14 my "friend" was constantly telling me how fat I was and that I should lose weight. At the time I was around 115lbs. A year later I was up to about 135lbs. Considering that I am 5'2" I was still within a normal weight range. I was depressed and hated myself. Then I started watching what I ate and exercising every day. I dropped to about 120-125 pretty much for the rest of high school.
Once I started university and moved away form home I actually managed to keep off the freshman 15 but my chest area did quite a lot of growing that year and when I went home at Christmas I got a lot of comments about how much weight I had put on even though my clothing size had not change. Sometimes family and friends are the worst supporters.
After that I started putting on weight. At my peak in university I sat between 170-175lbs. I didn't wear plus sizes and remained active. In 4th year my friend and I decided to join weight watchers. I dropped 40 lbs and was feeling fabulous. I finished my nursing degree and moved west as I was recruited right out of nursing school. I did good for the first little while but no meetings available, loneliness and shift work helped me put the weight back on.
Once I met my now husband I put on a little more weight and was hovering around 190. I was starting to have to wear plus size clothing and became less active. In 2003 I became pregnant with our first. He was such a beautiful baby. When I delivered I was sitting at about 210. I did manage to lose the pregnancy weight quickly and put it all back on once I was back at work.
In 2005 I had my second child a sweet little girl. My weight by then was about 220. I have to say I was one of those people that don't gain much while pregnant. My highest gain was 20lbs. Again, like my first, the pregnancy weight came off quickly then I put it all back on.
In 2010 I decided to quit smoking. I tried not to put on weight but I did gain 10lbs bringing my weight to 235. That's pretty much my highest weight.
In 2011 my husband I and decided we were not done having kids so we had 1 more a little girl. She is the cherry on top. I was really motivated after all I did manage to quit smoking the year earlier. I dropped 50lbs! On that mat leave. I really wish I had been able to keep it off. I was going to the gym 4 times a week plus yoga and other classes. I was happier and full of life!
Today, December 31, 2013 I sit here at 228.2. Unhappy and unmotivated. I can't seem to keep this demon off my back. So I decided that I needed to physical barrier to help me find a permanent solution. So I am currently waiting on a surgery date. In the few days since I've made my decision I've noticed I'm making better food choices and snacking less. My weight will be the death of me. 3 kids, a husband, extended family stresses and a demanding job makes it that I am always last on the list. But this is me deciding to put me first so that I can help the people I love for a long time.
I am ready to make this a permanent solution to a long time struggle. Thanks for listening!
I started having body image issues in my teens as most teen girls do. At 14 my "friend" was constantly telling me how fat I was and that I should lose weight. At the time I was around 115lbs. A year later I was up to about 135lbs. Considering that I am 5'2" I was still within a normal weight range. I was depressed and hated myself. Then I started watching what I ate and exercising every day. I dropped to about 120-125 pretty much for the rest of high school.
Once I started university and moved away form home I actually managed to keep off the freshman 15 but my chest area did quite a lot of growing that year and when I went home at Christmas I got a lot of comments about how much weight I had put on even though my clothing size had not change. Sometimes family and friends are the worst supporters.
After that I started putting on weight. At my peak in university I sat between 170-175lbs. I didn't wear plus sizes and remained active. In 4th year my friend and I decided to join weight watchers. I dropped 40 lbs and was feeling fabulous. I finished my nursing degree and moved west as I was recruited right out of nursing school. I did good for the first little while but no meetings available, loneliness and shift work helped me put the weight back on.
Once I met my now husband I put on a little more weight and was hovering around 190. I was starting to have to wear plus size clothing and became less active. In 2003 I became pregnant with our first. He was such a beautiful baby. When I delivered I was sitting at about 210. I did manage to lose the pregnancy weight quickly and put it all back on once I was back at work.
In 2005 I had my second child a sweet little girl. My weight by then was about 220. I have to say I was one of those people that don't gain much while pregnant. My highest gain was 20lbs. Again, like my first, the pregnancy weight came off quickly then I put it all back on.
In 2010 I decided to quit smoking. I tried not to put on weight but I did gain 10lbs bringing my weight to 235. That's pretty much my highest weight.
In 2011 my husband I and decided we were not done having kids so we had 1 more a little girl. She is the cherry on top. I was really motivated after all I did manage to quit smoking the year earlier. I dropped 50lbs! On that mat leave. I really wish I had been able to keep it off. I was going to the gym 4 times a week plus yoga and other classes. I was happier and full of life!
Today, December 31, 2013 I sit here at 228.2. Unhappy and unmotivated. I can't seem to keep this demon off my back. So I decided that I needed to physical barrier to help me find a permanent solution. So I am currently waiting on a surgery date. In the few days since I've made my decision I've noticed I'm making better food choices and snacking less. My weight will be the death of me. 3 kids, a husband, extended family stresses and a demanding job makes it that I am always last on the list. But this is me deciding to put me first so that I can help the people I love for a long time.
I am ready to make this a permanent solution to a long time struggle. Thanks for listening!
