BAd reation

[rosejohnson]

I had coffee with a good friend the other day and decided to tell her about the op (I have kept it quite quiet), and she was really supportive. Then when I saw her the next day I asked her if she had told her husband (he is a consultant at our local hospital) and she said he was really concerned and worried and annoyed I didn't speak to him first. He apparently feels I have ruined any chance of future health as I will be riddled with osteoporosis by the time I am 50 (among other things I can't remember).

I am really upset, as I did this in good faith that it would be the best thing for me, and I genuinely do trust his opinion on everything else, so I would be silly to ignore him on this, even though I know it is too late and there is nothing I can do.

Just needed to get this off my chest :-(

 

[Fashionably Late]

Just because he is a consultant does not mean he is up to date on bariatric surgery. Most consultants are only up to date on research in their particular field. I would just put it down as he doesn't agree with your decision and go on from here.

 

[Mark01/05/2009]

I would agree with FL. Unless he is a specialist in bariatric surgery, i would take his opinion with a pinch of salt and just move onwards and downwards with your weight loss

 

[fatbutnot4eva]

I agree, he can tell you his reasons and you can tell him yours. I am sure that if he looked at it in depth he woudl understand x

 

[hopelesscase]

artritus V heart problems, diabetis, etc
pain V death
i know what i would choose
he may be a consultant but he obviously doesnt know his stuff on weight issues and problems surrounding it.

 

[Lady_in_London]

He is absolutely wrong. You need to have a healthy diet plus take all the prescribed vitamin and mineral supplements for life, and that will certainly help prevent it. Your life will be longer if of a normal weight than if you stayed overweight.

 

[judybrowneyes]

It must have been upsetting for you to hear that from him however the benefits healthwise of being a healthier weight outweighs the risks and your bariatric team will ensure you are getting all the nutrients your body needs to remain healthy. Good luck with the weight loss

 

[Cuppacocoa]

Totally agree with the above posts!

Last night I read through a seven page document kindly sent to me by my GP. It was taken from the British Medical Journal in which they had a huge article all about bariatric surgery.

It made for great reading and stated all the facts, figures, do's and don'ts about the surgery from an unbiased and unglamourised medical point of view.

The conclusion was overwhelmingly that all the benefits massively outweigh any downsides asscoiated with the surgery and for obese patients who have failed to lose weight in other ways this is by far the best method available to get it off and keep it off. If my memory serves me correctly there was no mention at all of Osteoporosis, I think if your vitamin and mineral intake is correct there is no reason why you should be at higher risk of suffering from this than anyone else.

Cuppa xx

 

[Silversurfer]

I agree with the others, ask him how long does he think you'd live being obese and what your long term prognosess is ?

people have differing views about WLS, even health professionals dont seem to agree, the results speak for themselves yet people still seem to have negative reactions, for this reason i didn't tell anyone other than my immidiate family until after my op, post op it was to late and anyone that did have a negative reaction can now see that it does work.

Suck it in and ride on, this is your decision and your life and there ain't no one going to walk in your shoes !

 

[Caroline101061]

I think the osteoporosis bit is tosh. The only plus about being obese is that you are not prone to it cause your bones have to work harder. If you take your calcium pills as you should post surgery, you will be fine. Why do people scaremonger?

 

[Silversurfer]

I think the osteoporosis bit is tosh. The only plus about being obese is that you are not prone to it cause your bones have to work harder. If you take your calcium pills as you should post surgery, you will be fine. Why do people scaremonger?

I think its mainly a case of 'ill informed' here - my GP openly admitted that he knows very little about the bypass, but is willing to listen to me, has taken the referal advice from my consultant and has said i know more about it, the conditions and issue i have to live with than him !

 

[Lady_in_London]

Bariatric surgeons actually hold lectures for surgeons and consultants in other specialities to inform them of the details about bariatric surgery. Other consultants cannot be fully informed of the facts unless they are taught them by people who know. Don't worry, as I posted above, a healthy diet full of vits and mins, together with supplements prescribed by your surgeon, will help to avoid any problems in the future. The important thing is to go for your regular check-ups and have the blood tests required by your surgeon's team. The hairs on my neck go funny when I read of the lack of aftercare on here by some teams. After the first year, you should have annual blood tests and check ups at the hospital.

 

[indianlight]

I'm soo sorry this has happened to you, but I would just remember the reasons you have gone ahead with this and let him see in the future how much healthier you are and you may even educate him!!

However, this has just justified to me the reasons why I haven't otld certain people and although I was wavering I am definitely not telling them now xx

 

[swizzlestick]

I think I would be more upset with him thinking he had the right to be 'angry' about any decisions you have made. 'concerned' and 'worried' seems quite patronising too. God complex is springing to mind here.

Gosh Rose, do they think you acted impulsively or something? Nobody but nobody, including your friend's 'concerned' husband would have quite such a vested interest in the long term outcome to such a measure as you would.

I think I would be quite offended that my own intellect or uderstanding of what I was about to put my body through was being questioned.

I don't know how well you know your friends husband, but maybe you need to sit down and educate him about a few things, very sweetly that is giving him a copy of the print out you got from the medical journal may be a good start! Tell him you are flattered that he was soo concerned and wanted to reassure him that you had looked indepth at all the ins and outs before making such a decision. Say that you needed your information to be impartial and that is why you never went to him as he knows you personally, This may massage his wounded pride that you never sought his counsel beforehand.

This may eat at you unless you speak to him, the last thing you want is it affecting your relationship with your friend.

Good luck and chin up, the proof is in the pudding, right!

 

[thinkbethin]

Just because he is a consultant does not mean he is up to date on bariatric surgery. Most consultants are only up to date on research in their particular field. I would just put it down as he doesn't agree with your decision and go on from here.

I agree with FL.

You have to think positive, think of the great years you're going to have before this happens (if it ever does). A healthy life for the next 20 yrs has got to be worth much more than worrying about the "what ifs". As much as you value his opinions would you cancel your op if he told you to??

 

[Porpo]

Hiya,

I specifically asked about this before the op. I was told that as long as we follow the advised vitamins and supplements and ensure that we get checked regularily so we're not deficient in anything there is no reason why we should be more likely than someone who has not had a bypass. I was told that you're likely to have a problem if you dont take the vitamins etc, dont get checked for deficiencies and eat crap. If we follow the advised diet then we should be absorbing what we need.

When weighed against the alternatives it made sense to me to get on with it. Hope this helps ease your mind a bit I had my Bypass with Mr Ammori and he's really well thought of in barriatrics and I'm sure they wouldnt have told me that if they didnt believe it to be true.

Xxx

 

[rosejohnson]

Thanks everyone. You are all so right. I guess being a consultant he does think he knows everything, but he is usually right!

I had a niggling feeling he wouldn't be happy, which is I guess why I didn't tell him beforehand, I needed to know this was my decision and mine alone, and that I had come to that decision based on fact not opinion.

I would have gone through with it regrdless, so I know it's irrelevant, but it just made me feel crap. I hoped when I told my friends, that they would say 'well done', not 'what have you done?'.

But I am not going to let it get me down. Thanks everyone. xxx