Bad Tempered and Mind Not Working!!

[chrisa]

:wave_cry:I am struggling people. I have never been bad tempered and thought badly of people until the last few months. I have become short tempered and at times struggle to cope with day to day problems, iam quick to back answer where as once, i would have let things ride. My mind hasn't been working well for the last few years due to the menopause, i am only 46 and its been almost 10 years since it 1st started. I am worse since my bypass. Its like my eyes have been opened and my tongue has been loosened, i am not really nasty i hate the thought that i would be like that but i have never ever been bad tempered have left that to hubby and kids. I am beginning to not like what i am becoming and that is one thing I didnt want to happen to me. think it might be down to my diet and the fact that i am more tired due to the extra exercise. Any thoughts other than mine anyone???:cry::8855:

 

[Jamast]

Can't comment on the Menopause lovey - but I've found that once the majority of people get in their mid 40's, they stop holding things in and generally say what they feel. I call myself a cantankerous old git - basically, to use a phrase my gran would use - I don't suffer fools. Whereas when I was younger I would ignore something, now I just tend to say it like it is. It's about being honest. You do tend to find that people have a lot more respect for you once they realise that you won't sit back and take it. As for the family - it's unfortunate that we all tend to let rip at those we love, when we probably don't actually mean it. It could be the diet, as I am majorly cranky when dieting (my hubby just commented that I must have been dieting for the past 30 years then lol - he's right), it does make you tired. Have you tried explaining how you feel to your family? Big hugs xxx

 

[Yvessa]

Often I would bite my tongue and then go home and eat my anger. Literally. I would suggest the things you are saying possibly have been building for some time. One of the best things I ever did was assertiveness training through work. It might help to have different ways of saying what you mean?

 

[Fuffs]

My nerves are easily got on at the moment. I think it's lack of cals.

I really hope you don't be too harsh on yourself about it chick and that you will feel brighter soon.

You are so much help on here. A lovely woman. List the positives about yourself. And the snapping will end up a small percentage of the current you xxx

 

[chrisa]

Yeah they know, but am fighting with my self in my head though beating myself up about it. The one thing that frightened me about losing weight was changing into someone i am not, i have seen it soo many times with friends and aquaintances i don't want to be like that. I can see so much nastyness in some people all of a sudden its as if i can see things for the 1st time dunno whats goin on, but its strange, very strange. xx

 

[TwinkleTwinkle]

Aw Sorry you are having a hard time, Chrisa Honey :sigh: Are your bloods OK? I am a bit snappy if my iron is low I'm such a joy Don't suffer alone, see your doctor to check if it is anything medical, but if not, don't be so hard on yourself. You have gone through a lot this year & hopefully it is just something else that needs time to resolve itself take care, lovely xxx

 

[Fuffs]

Yeah they know, but am fighting with my self in my head though beating myself up about it. The one thing that frightened me about losing weight was changing into someone i am not, i have seen it soo many times with friends and aquaintances i don't want to be like that. I can see so much nastyness in some people all of a sudden its as if i can see things for the 1st time dunno whats goin on, but its strange, very strange. xx

Maybe it is lack of Cals, a hormonal inbalance, stress through slower weight loss than you like or a vitamin deficiency.

 

[chrisa]

Aw Sorry you are having a hard time, Chrisa Honey :sigh: Are your bloods OK? I am a bit snappy if my iron is low I'm such a joy Don't suffer alone, see your doctor to check if it is anything medical, but if not, don't be so hard on yourself. You have gone through a lot this year & hopefully it is just something else that needs time to resolve itself take care, lovely xxx

Thanx i just had all my blood took on Wed last week so will just have to wait on results, if its bad they will ring surely. Am taking all my tabs and vitamins without fail xx so am trying to be agood girl. xx

 

[TwinkleTwinkle]

Thanx i just had all my blood took on Wed last week so will just have to wait on results, if its bad they will ring surely. Am taking all my tabs and vitamins without fail xx so am trying to be agood girl. xx

I would ring them to check :wave_cry: Sometimes with a bypass we don't absorb as well as others so even though you are taking all your meds, they may not be being utilised by your new plumbing. :sigh: It can't help being in the menopause either, sweetie :wave_cry: xxx

 

[chrisa]

THe nurse said i have to wait a fortnight before ringing for results it will take bout 4 weeks to get to our docs surgery. but thank you for replying will stick with it and keep moving onwards. xx

 

[dinkydink]

I'm the same! I think it's the lack of cake sorry I mean calories!!!! X

 

[Fuffs]

I'm the same! I think it's the lack of cake sorry I mean calories!!!! X

Lol!!!!!

 

[chrisa]

I'm the same! I think it's the lack of cake sorry I mean calories!!!! X

Yes i used to work with agirl who used to say cut out all fat and you get ratty, suppose we have eradicated most fat from our diet a long wwith some sugar and other bits. xx

 

[Jamast]

I'm the same! I think it's the lack of cake sorry I mean calories!!!! X

LOL - mine will be the lack of cheese!!!

 

[newcy]

My Mum was the same - one day nice mild manners, the next short tempered with an acid tongue. She's the same lovely person she used to be but now she takes no s**t off no one.

Dieting always makes me irritable - I hadn't thought about that happening post op but now that you've mentioned it, it seems totally logical. Best warn the hubby x

 

[chrisa]

Think i've been a push over for far too long, well thats another good thing to come out of me op then, just don't want to lose my identity. xx

 

[penelope1008]

Hi Chrisa, part of this will be the testosterone & other hormones stored in the fat being released as the fat burns off so yes our emotions will be a bit haywire for no good reason post op & we have to learn to control them & not use the old food crutches we may have used in the past. We are often more tired as you say due to the eating & exercise until our bodies & heads learn to handle the new routines to. As to the menopause like you I'm 46 I was put into a chemical induced menopause prior to having a full hysterectomy for severe PMS 8yrs ago, I went through the ups & downs hormonally then & am again now with the testosterone releases now.
As to your wanting to answer back when others annoy you I think that is part of increasing confidence for years we stay in the back ground because of our size & feeling we don't count as we slim we gain confidence & where we would once have hesitated to step forward now we feel freer to say our bit & perhaps just blurt it out rather than be diplomatic & tollarent because we feel if we say it quickly & dodge back behind our old shield we are not seen as much. I think as we grow more comfortable in our new shape & with our new confidence we will regain our self control & say our bit more tactfully but more often than we may have in the past.
I may be talking a load of old twaddle but that's my opinion for what it's worth hope there's something in there that can help you at this time.

 

[emma-louise]

I could have wrote this post myself,
My moods have been all over the place!!
It's horrible getting ratty with your family.
I look better,am more confident but my moods have definetly altered.
I dont think it helps that I'm anemic,have vitamin definencys.
I'd love to know why I've become a moody cow at times x

 

[chrisa]

Thank you Penelope there is quite a bit in there i can aquaint with. Makes me think maybe it is a confidence thing, I can remember in my slimmer days 13-14 stone i was then, but i wasn't like that then either thats why i'm finding it hard it is out of character for me, and i am frightened of losing who i really am. I have seen lot sof people lose weight and they change, they cast off old lives, and get new ones, husbands houses and jobs, i don't want to become one of those, i usually embrace changes but this change really concerns me. xx Does that sound silly if so just ignore me. xx

 

[penelope1008]

No it doesn't sound silly, I think it's so easy to cast off things that are worth keeping as well as those that need to go. Over the last 10 nearly 11mths since my op I've changed some for the good & if I'm honest some for the bad. I've attempted to change my appearance but gradually adapting my look to suit my life & my confidence, so fat this is mainly my clothes & hair & those sometimes have been good sometimes not quite right & I need to work things out & be happy with my new look & body. As to friends & colleagues I chat to more people & am more confident however I also feel comfortable in myself & happy to be by myself not get in the middle of others dramas I don't ignore them but avoid situations that where I don't feel up to being pleasant or tolerant I walk away or switch off. I don't always get it right & I still have the very few special friends I've relied on for years. At times I feel like the new exhibit in the zoo with everyone's comments & compliments which is hard as despite the bluster & bravado I give off I'm essentially a quiet & introverted person. Standing up in front of a class is tough sometimes & my insecurities & demons make it hard to deal with life as my interpretation of situations isn't always correct & my reactions aren't always appropriate to the reality. So yes it's tough to keep yourself true to you & those you love. My husband of 28yrs has a slim wife back who is once again lighter than him but I'm still no keener on his need for physical demonstrations of affection than I was while fat that's a demon I can't get past it's just not me but he sees a sexy woman trying to live with the extra attention I get from him without shrugging off his attempts to show his appreciation & snapping when he wants attention. But that's not new. I think it will take us all time to deal with the physical & emotional changes in & about ourselves, we have to deal with lots of things & it's tough on all those around us. Those that we love & love us will still be there once we've worked through the changes we have to make in ourselves. Those that only want us for what we gave without giving back may be shed or dealt with to. There may be new friends or people in our lives to compliment the old. I agree we shouldn't cast off to much to soon taking time to adapt & accept as we have been accepted & need to be again by those who love us. Sometimes they may not adjust to us & move on but with luck the core people in our loves at the start of this journey will be there as much at the end.
I don't doubt it's tough for everyone of us & everyone of those we love but we will get there & succeed in our new lives with the special from
the old still there with us.
Chin up hun deep breath & some quiet times to think things through, a lot of openness & honesty & we will get there.