Considering bypass

[SerenityValley]

Hi,

Been here a long time but never used the site, as was a member of minimins and didn't realise I was a member here.

I lost a lot of weight doing lighter life in 2008/09 (about 11st) but now only 4 of those stone remain lost and I'm giving deep consideration to a bypass. Not willing to consider a band as I don't think that'd help me long term.

My wife had a bypass the year before I met her, and this means I already know a lot about how hard it is, the pros and cons, which is great, but I need somewhere to talk and think which is more objective, so I will be around a while, while I decide.

I've considered it for a few years without ever being serious. What has changed now, is that I am tired of battling the same few pounds. I was only slim for a year - 1 out of 41 is not good.

My wife is 10.5 weeks pregnant. And we have an 18 month old, so if I am going to do this, I need to do it soon - as I'll need some support and can't be doing that when she is heavily pregnant or after she has given birth. So I have maybe a few weeks to decide if I'm doing it, or I have to wait another couple of years.

Where I don't know where to start is where to get it done. I've discounted abroad. My budget is 10k max and I've seen some in the uk for 8k. But I don't know how to work out who is reputable, and who to avoid. The 8k one got a mention here in a thread but I forget who they were now. I will find them at some point.

I wish I'd done this when I was single - I worry about something going wrong and it didn't matter when I was single. It would matter now.

 

[princess4d4]

just wanted to say hi and goodluck with whatever you decide is right for you

 

[Butterfly_lady]

Hi and good luck, also don't forget to haggle I went private and got £1.5k knocked off the price by taking a cancellation that was less than 2 weeks away

 

[samp24]

Hi and welcome, you have bit of thinking to do and this is probably a good place to help you thrash out worries and concerns. worrying about your family and loved ones is perfectly normal, but at the same time this could be something that will prolong your life in the long run. there are risks involved, so research loads and then you can talk it all through with your wife and then make informed decisions together. good luck.

 

[PokeyKoala]

Hiya Serenity - How's the Toon?

When I was making my decision to by-pass I was really thinking my long term future and how I wanted to live my life with my family. I felt it was passing me by and that I wasn't able to do the things I wanted to do.

If you are self funding the procedure can happen pretty quickly and recovery time is good - I'm approaching 4 weeks out and fell fine.
What helped me was writing a long list of what I would gain and what I would lose. The "gain" list was so much longer than the lose list that I felt that if I didn't take positive action and take back my future, I was only doing myself a dis-service.

Good look with your decision making!

 

[SerenityValley]

Thanks everyone for the welcome and the advice. I'll be thinking about this a lot. I've decided not to rush it too much - I have a couple of months to make a final decision, or to put it back a couple of years.

Has anyone had trouble getting a bypass with a bmi of 37? I've been much higher but I am fighting to keep the weight under control. I've seen at least one site say that they only offer a bypass to people of my age (41) when over 40 bmi.

I don't want a band and I'm not willing to gain extra weight to get my bmi up.

Also does anyone know if the wls group are good? They seem cheap (maybe because consults are done by a nurse).

Thanks.

 

[SerenityValley]

I'm back and still considering this. Regained everything I lost last year and miserable as sin. About to try a combo of slimming world and intermittent fasting.

I know a bypass would work but I'm still helping my wife pay her loan off for here (she had one the year before we met). That will be paid off by the end of this year then I'd have to take a loan to get one. It's be hard with 2 young kids and very little spare cash.

Edit: and. I believe that wls group went bust - so back to square one.

 

[samp24]

Have you been to see yr Gp to see if you can get referred on nhs? If your thinking another year before you have paid off wife's loan, may as well try to get it done nhs? Nice to see you back. When you posted April last year I was just about to have mine. Had it done last may on nhs, was worth the two year wait.

 

[SerenityValley]

Hi samp, thanks for the reply.

I did a little reading after I posted and was surprised to find that I might just creep into the range where they'll consider it without a co morbidity. My bmi is just a hairs breadth over 40, if I stop pretending I'm 5' 10" and accept I'm an inch shorter!

I'm in the process of moving dr surgeries as I've moved out of the catchment area for my current doctor. As soon as I've done the forms, I'll make an appointment. It's reached the point where I am so down about it and just so ashamed of myself. I've now gained 7st since I lost 11st (lighter life).

Thanks again. Your stats show you've done fab very happy for you?

 

[samp24]

I too did lighter life and also put it all back on and then some. When I first saw my Gp and asked to be referred she worked out my bmi and said I didn't qualify as my bmi was under 40. I questioned what height she had me down as (as she only weighed me that day and didn't measure my height) and she had me down as 5"7. I have never been 5"7 in my life, and told her that
she measured me a low and behold at only 5"5 I just scraped into the qualifying criteria. I would say don't worry about yr weight for a minute, if you are between doctors and trying to get referred with no cormids then you need to have a qualifying bmI. Have also know of.people who had stones in their pockets to weigh a bit heavier, but not suggesting that you do that x

 

[Su2ie]

Hi samp, thanks for the reply. I did a little reading after I posted and was surprised to find that I might just creep into the range where they'll consider it without a co morbidity. My bmi is just a hairs breadth over 40, if I stop pretending I'm 5' 10" and accept I'm an inch shorter! I'm in the process of moving dr surgeries as I've moved out of the catchment area for my current doctor. As soon as I've done the forms, I'll make an appointment. It's reached the point where I am so down about it and just so ashamed of myself. I've now gained 7st since I lost 11st (lighter life). Thanks again. Your stats show you've done fab very happy for you?

Definitely see your gp, it's worth asking - the worst that can happen is that they say no to a referral. I'm 42 and my BMI was just over 38 at referral. I don't have typical comorbidities such as high blood pressure, diabetes or cholesterol but I did have asthma and joint problems. Don't know where you are big I was accepted by sunderland, took a year from seminar to bypass op but they're getting through the process a bit quicker now, about 6-9 months average.

Good luck x

 

[mouse57]

Hi, I think you need to get into your new Gp and have a good chat with them, express your concerns and ask for their advice, but don't mention that you are willing to pay put more emphasis on the face that you have young children and that you can't pay but you want yo do something about your weight for you and your children. Try the sympathy card first. Keep your cards close until they tell you you can't have it done, bring up the talk about more people being offered to prevent other illnesses and you coming forward now before you start to have complications. You never know it might work. Good luck and I look forward to hearing your up dates.

 

[SerenityValley]

Thank you all - this gives great hope. Before I go in, I'll write down everything about how it affects me and family. I do have a lot of pain in joints, and recently had an unexplained back injury. I have been walking 2.5 miles to and from work (just stopped) and end up in tremendous pain.

Su2ie, I've just moved from newcastle to north tyneside. I don't know of one is better than the other but wish I'd checked this out with newcastle (surgery won't let me stay with them, even though I literally cross the road and I'm back in their catchment area).

I'll speak to the wife today - I think if I want to try this, I shouldn't try to lose any weight in the meantime!

Thanks again everyone xxx