Expectations

[Alia]

Hi every one,

I'm just wondering what peoples expectations of their weight loss surgery are.

I have 3 friends who have gone through a gastric bypass and only one of them has got to a weight where she is totally happy and in a size 8 - 10, thats my sister in law. The other two are still obese, one is 3 years after surgery and the other I think is slightly longer since surgery .

My expectations of my surgery seem on the high side to me but I don't think I'll be happy unless I get there. Yes I want to be a size 10 and yes I want to have no excess skin and if I do them I want it removed. I won't be happy if 3 or 4 years post surgery I'm still obese but alot lighter than I was prior to surgery.

I was wondering what every one elses expectations of their surgery is.

 

[ditzyangeluk]

I came into this with one expectation - to be 'less', which I am (hey, I'm easy to please!! )
And one hope, the 'less' would result in a much longed for baby!

So far, one of two ... watch this space!

 

[shelbell]

For me it was to improve my health, which is happening already.

 

[Brunetteandred]

IMHO, to pin hopes on a dress size 'n' is potentially setting oneself up for a fall. Were all under so much social and commercial pressure to be a size 6/8/10 or whatever that we can easily overlook the fact that some of us - I would hedge a broad statement here - that most of us cannot realistically achieve and sustain that.

I know I will never be a size 10 or 12. I am the 'wrong side' of 45, have wobbly bits galore and a bone structure that would not be out of place in the Amazon. Th only time I was ever a size 12 was when I was in a physically abusive relationship and got beaten daily, which led to me not eating, living on a diet of cigarettes (which I am glad to say I kicked into touch 25 years ago), coffee and fear. I was skeletal and very, very unhappy.

I will set my expectations to be healthier, lighter, fitter and more thoughtful about what I put into my mouth, for I know that for most of my life I have been on a never-ending cycle of food = comfort = food = fat = unhappy = food. I quite simply want to live longer and be at peace with my body and mind.

The dress size can come sometime later when I learn to like me and stop abusing me.

 

[charliegirl]

I used to be a size 10 until my late 30's but whilst I could carry that off then I know it would not suit me now. I have a target to get to 11 stone but if dont get that far and like the way I look I will stop. I agree setting to high a target can defeat you before you start.

Can I ask about the two friends that are still obese, is it that they are eating the wrong things? Did their mind set not change after the op? Sorry to be nosey just would like a bit more info...xx

 

[cazbandy]

Hi every one,

I'm just wondering what peoples expectations of their weight loss surgery are.

I have 3 friends who have gone through a gastric bypass and only one of them has got to a weight where she is totally happy and in a size 8 - 10, thats my sister in law. The other two are still obese, one is 3 years after surgery and the other I think is slightly longer since surgery .

My expectations of my surgery seem on the high side to me but I don't think I'll be happy unless I get there. Yes I want to be a size 10 and yes I want to have no excess skin and if I do them I want it removed. I won't be happy if 3 or 4 years post surgery I'm still obese but alot lighter than I was prior to surgery.

I was wondering what every one elses expectations of their surgery is.

I think your expectations are a little high to be honest. Are you having surgery on NHS or private? If you gave these kinds of answers for NHS surgery you will not get funding.

They will only really do it for health reasons not for vanities sake.

Some private surgeons feel the same, so be careful.

My goals are to regain my health. I am 11 stone over weight but if I only lose half of that I will be happy, as this will reduce the strain on my vital organs, joints and reduce my risks of a stroke and heart attack. To me that is more important than being skinny.

Nowt wrong with curves...

I am 39, so I doubt very much I am gonna look like a supermodel at the end of this, I will have skin hanging, anyone with over 100lbs will. No amount of toning will correct it. My surgeon advised if you can wait 4 years after surgery to make that decision your body will have shrunk back as much as it is ever going to.

The reality is this, a lot of people years after the surgery regain a certain amount of weight, that is due to the pouch being stretched. Some people require a revision or even a band to keep the weight maintained for life.

 

[hopelesscase]

I have been overweight all my life 10.5lb baby and first experiance of ww when i was 10. I have always been active and healthy though until last year when i slipped and dislocated my shoulder in the shower. I then discovered that my BP was borderline i asked my GP for help with my weight as i knew that it was that that was causing my problem.
He refered me to the hospital for weight management and it was the dr there who told me that a bypass was my only way forward and i could expect to loose about 70% of my excess weight and that yes i may need plastics to help with the excess skin later as that could cause problems. My hope is to get to a BMI under 30. I really am not bothered what shape or size i am just want to be within a health weight.
carole

 

[phatgirl]

I agree 100% with all the lovely ladies who have already replied. Health is my main concern and size doesn't really matter to me. Yes, it would be nice to wear a 'regular' size so I will enjoy that if I get there.

You really might be setting to bar to high with your goal of 100% excess weight loss. You are much taller than me and your goal weight is in my range (155-175lbs) so it may not happen with the bypass alone. That is not to say it is not possible for you to reach those goals (size 10, 168lbs) but you have to be willing to do alot to help yourself. When your weight loss slows (like your two friends experienced perhaps), if you don't reduce your eating (dare I say diet) and add much more exercise, you will stop dropping weight . Your body has a natural 'set point' which cannot be predicted by a doctor. Who knows you could get lucky with it. You body will try to stop there at your set point. If you are not happy with that set point, you will have to possibly 'diet' and add a ton of exercise to your routine in order to continue your regular losses.

Most people after life long dieting and then a gastric bypass don't want to work so hard to maintain a specific weight they set when they were obese, they then just hover at their set point which may seem too 'fat' to you. You are in charge but you may want to be more flexible with your goals so that when time comes, you can enjoy your smaller self instead of being disappointed you are not even smaller.

I hope that you don't feel I am being harsh with you, I am just offering you my take on it. You are absolutely free to disagree my dear. It is your body, your life and ultimately your wls journey so only you know what is right for you. I truly hope you reach every goal you set.

Nichole

 

[Sambucca]

great thread, i totally agree with the ladies who have said that their goal is to be healthier.

My BMI is about 42, so perhaps not as heavy as some, but my weight still impacts on my health. I want surgery so that I can walk without getting out of breath, so that I can bend without my back killing me, so I can put my shoes on which is just a nightmare at the moment, but most importantly so that I can live a long healthy life and look after my children. My youngest child is 4 and I cant run round the park with her or go on a bike ride or even swimming. I just want a "normal" life and dont care if i am size 10 or 18, as long as i feel healthy

 

[Big an Bouncy]

Agree with the other ladies,dont set yourself such a rigid target,go for health first then look at where you are at.You have 1 child?will you want more and risk undoing what you acheive?No surgeon worth his salt would operate on you if you hadnt finished having children.Just be happy with feeling in control of your eating and weightloss is a benefit.Trust us on here we all have the t.shirt!

 

[phatgirl]

You have 1 child?will you want more and risk undoing what you acheive?No surgeon worth his salt would operate on you if you hadnt finished having children.

B&B, I wanted to point out that this statement is untrue. Many people on this forum (me included) have fertility issues that will be improved by wls. I and others here look forward to a future pregnancy after bypass with the full support of our surgeons. Just wanted to make sure people knew the facts.

Nic

 

[Big an Bouncy]

You got me wrong I was talking about cosmetic surgery ie tummy tuck not wls,sorry if I confused!

 

[serenitylove]

im on the larger side for people having band i think i started at 25st im aiming for 15st still overweight but i no i will never be able to afford a tt so would rather stay a little plumper and not be tripping over my skin but y main reason was because i was getting close to loosing mobility and i want another child

 

[j.u.s.t.l.i.z.]

You got me wrong I was talking about cosmetic surgery ie tummy tuck not wls,sorry if I confused!

i had a tummy tuck and the surgeon recommended no more children after the t/t, he said if i was planning more children then id have to wait until my family was complete, i assured him i dont want no more children, and it would be diffucult for me to fall pregnant again any way as i needed help to get my son with injections ect.

 

[wobbles]

Maybe it's just me, my mood, or something, but i think some of the replies here have been a little harsh.

Yes i want to be healthier, i want to run around with me son, i want to live longer etc etc etc. But in all honesty, i want to look good too, not for anyone else, but for ME! I want to be happy when i see myself in the mirror, i want to be able to buy size 10 clothes and fit into them well, i want to be happy in my own skin.

Weight loss surgery alone is not going to make me a size 10. I'm going to have to work hard to get to my goal, i'm going to have to exercise, eat properly for the rest of my life, and possibly pay for cosmetic surgery, but just because i've been obese my whole life does not mean that my goal is too rigid, or unrealistic as most of you have said about Alia's goal. If she is willing to put the work in, she can achieve whatever she wants.
If your own goal is better health, then that's great, but i think some of you have been a bit judgemental when it comes to Alia's goals. I'm sure hers include better health, but lets get real. We do live in a world that is obsessed with appearance, and you cannot tell me that absolutely NONE of that has rubbed off onto you, which makes you even just a little bit determined to 'fit in' better.

I want to be healthy, and i want to be happy with how i look and feel in my own skin.

 

[phatgirl]

I hope I was not one of those people who came off as judgemental. If so, I appologize sincerely. I was only trying to make the point that a specific size or weight goal can be defeating for morale if you really have to struggle to get there. If you are prepared to work very, very hard I believe that most goals are attainable which goes for both of you ladies. You CAN do it, and my best wishes that you do! That said, I am also influenced by our 'thin is beautiful' culture, a size 8-10 sounds like some perfect myth to this fat body like a unicorn or a dragon. I can't say it wouldn't make my day to pull up a pair of jeans that had a size 10 tag. You bet it would.

Good luck to you both and sorry again if I was judgmental. Goals are kinda sacred stuff. You know which one is right for you.

 

[ditzyangeluk]

I don't think people are being harsh or judgemental. Alia asked what others' expectations were. I think people have their own personal reasons for having the surgery & people DO have their own reasons, whatever they may be. They are just stating their own expectations & opinions, & I don't think anyone means to ofend in any way

 

[Lou1973]

i had a tummy tuck and the surgeon recommended no more children after the t/t, he said if i was planning more children then id have to wait until my family was complete, i assured him i dont want no more children, and it would be diffucult for me to fall pregnant again any way as i needed help to get my son with injections ect.

I've just had a tummy tuck (7 days post op) and haven't started my family yet. I spoke to the surgeon about it and we discussed that post pregnancy I might have saggy skin as any woman can (as can anyone that has had a tummy tuck and puts weight on and loses it again) but we agreed that I'm 35 and I may never have children (gotta find mr right first LOL) so why wait. Frankly the way I felt about my belly put me off sex with a new partner so the likelihood of getting pregnant without the tummy tuck was pretty slim.

If post having a family I need/want to get some repairs done so be it - I'll gladly pay again.

So there is hope out there for people pre having a family if they want to fix some body issues and "any surgeon worth his salt" will ensure you are given all the facts honestly so you can make your own decision - not sure what the nhs position is as I paid privately but don't regret it for a second and would do it again.

 

[j.u.s.t.l.i.z.]

theres only so many times tummy skin can be nipped and tucked as it gets thin with the stretching of a tuck and the pulled skin of mine had already been stretched through years of been over weight and 1 pregnancy, i really dont think my skin would take kindly to the skin stretching of a preganancy now, i felt i was given the right advice, im nearly 2 years post op after my t/t and my skin is tight as a drum and no way would it take kindly to a pregnancy now as i feel its had all the stretching its ever going to take. but all surgeons are different, my t/t was nhs as a follow up proceedure to wls.

liz

 

[Alia]

I used to be a size 10 until my late 30's but whilst I could carry that off then I know it would not suit me now. I have a target to get to 11 stone but if dont get that far and like the way I look I will stop. I agree setting to high a target can defeat you before you start.

Can I ask about the two friends that are still obese, is it that they are eating the wrong things? Did their mind set not change after the op? Sorry to be nosey just would like a bit more info...xx

Quite simply they are eating the wrong things. One of them especially, she has milkshakes from mcdonalds, sweets and all those bad things.. She blames a break she had in her shoulder for her weight going up as she is n't mobile but she was no particulary mobile before her surgery.

The other one I can't really comment as I don't know what she eats but she seems happy with her size but inside I'm sure she wants to drop down quite a bit yet