Explanation!!

[purplefluffything]

Please can anyone help explain why it's not as simple just to cut down & eat just small amounts of food ( as though ones had gastric bypass) rather than have surgery!
My husband all of a sudden cannot get his head around wls . ( I think seeing me very ill is worrying him & he does not want me to make myself ill by going under the knife)?
So he's argument is this...
When you have surgery you will only beable to eat
small amounts ! Why not just do that now?
I said for one my stomach is a normal size so it wld be very hard to stick to long term !
But not sure what else really?
He is not being mean to me he is genuinely worried for me.
Please help me help him understand .
Hugs xxx

 

[Jacquie Christie]

I guess most of us on here have been trying to 'just eat small amounts' for 30 or so years - didn't work!

So, we have the op and then manage to eat smaller portions because we are not as hungry!

 

[slimmerkay]

Mine has said the same. And now, having done well on the pre-op diet, he says "I bet you just want to carry on now and lose it without surgery."

I explained that it just wouldn't work. If it was going to I would have done it before now, how I wont be able to cheat after surgery but if it wasn't for my op being so close I WOULD have cheated by now.

Not sure he 100% understands though.

 

[thinnerangela]

There is a big difference in knowing that we could eat smaller amounts and actually being able to only eat smaller amounts - or face the consequences!!

I didn't eat massive amounts pre-op - it was what I ate - cakes were my downfall - and not being able to mobilise - it became a vicious circle.

But I can ONLY eat small amounts now - or I'm sick - and I'm not mobile enough for too many dashes to the bathroom!!

I was not well pre-op on maximum cocodamol and oxycontin just to be able to function as well as other medication - the op gave me back a quality to my life.

xxxxx

 

[gaelic girl]

That is the big difference before my surgery i knew if i ate smaller portions and cut out the sweets and choc i would lose weight but i also knew i could still eat anything and everything i wanted. Now post op my surgery has given me the control to eat small portions and i know i CAN'T eat sweets and choc or i'll be ill. Thats what wls gave me the CAN'T as opposed to the WON'T factor xx

 

[lamornamiss]

my weight management doctor said
"Anyone can lose weight thats the easy part, but keeping it off is the hard part"
I'm not hungry at all since my bypass my thinner friends can't understand it

 

[Emma Louise]

I think that, for me, the reason i am sticking to my pre-op is because there is something at the end of it, im not going to be on it for a long time.

I think that the thought of "hang on, i could do this without surgery!" must come to most people. But when you actually dont have surgery as a motivational factor and you are totally on your own it is a different tale all together.

 

[purplefluffything]

Wow peeps, I'm amazed at these really great replys to my problem question.
Firstly thank you all for helping me out.
Secondly I'm hoping for more replys this is actually very interesting specialy to know most of us have that little niggle 'could I manage on my own?' most of us know this would be so very hard & we need help.
Thinnerangala, I could be reading about me in ur post to my question, not sure if u have read any of my other threads regarding my other health probs? I'm very much disabilitated one reason two drs agreed for me to have wls was my lack of mobility, surgery will not take my disability problems away but it will help to not put on anymore weight & stress on any other joints..
Again cheers for all input.
Hugs xxx

 

[Laura b]

im a great dieter, i know wat foods to eat and wat not too, i lost 6 stone in 5 months on a diet before but its the keeping it off thats the hard part im a big girl, im hungry all the time no matter how big my meal is im still hungry i do diets for so long then i binge out and end up putting it all back on im hoping for a gastric bypass and although it comes with it risks, bein the size i am comes with its risks too infact i think more risks than the op itself??
iv got so much weight to lose the only way i can manage to lose all of it is with wls if it was only 2-3 stone i probably could do it but its like 10 stone or more so i deffo need help im 25 with 2 young children and although like i said b4 the op comes with risks so does getting up everyday carrying my weight around.
i can understand how ur partner feels though my partners the same i went for a op before but eneded up doin the weight loss programme instead (my choice) i done well but again put it bk on so this is the way im gonna go if i want to enjoy my life with my beautiful children xxxx

 

[Sambucca]

That is the big difference before my surgery i knew if i ate smaller portions and cut out the sweets and choc i would lose weight but i also knew i could still eat anything and everything i wanted. Now post op my surgery has given me the control to eat small portions and i know i CAN'T eat sweets and choc or i'll be ill. Thats what wls gave me the CAN'T as opposed to the WON'T factor xx

Its exactly the same for me.

I know how to diet, its just that pre-op I could never manage it for long enough to make a difference as i was always hungry.

Now I am rarely hungry. Im still greedy though and think I always will be, but my bypass prevents me overeating and helps me to make good choices.

 

[phatmomma]

I, like everyone else, has done the diets, know what to eat, when to eat, everything! I'm still fat and without my gastric bypass i would remain fat for the rest of my life! Yes i would diet and lose some weight then put it back on and some more, and then i'd diet again and lose the weight and put it back on and some more.. Getting the pattern? I remember reading somewhere that this was just as dangerous as being obese (god i hate that word, fat is so much friendlier) is. The difference with having the bypass or just having small portions is this:

Having smaller portions you will feel hungry all the time and more than likely cheat big time when the hunger beats down your resistance or you have a emotionally bad day.

Having a bypass you will never feel hunger like a 'normal' person again. I'm not sure about other people but i can be hungry and if i'm busy, maybe driving or unable to stop and eat the feeling can go away as i'm unable to deal with this demand at the time. A warm milky drink can satisfy my hunger for a longer period of time than in my pre wls lifetime... I have not wanted to eat chocolate since my surgery on June 10th - i've tried cake and not dumped and i probably may not dump on chocolate but i won't take that chance... Whenever i've been on a diet before a bad day would have me eating a king size mars bar and then something really bad on top too.

The physical affects of my surgery are appearing already and i don't just mean body shape. I walk faster without breathing like a 40 fag a day person. I want to walk in the nice weather and distance doesn't seem so far nowadays...

To top it all? My blood glucose levels are normal and i no longer have to take 3 x 500mg of metformin every day

I would never try to dissuade someone from having wls it is changing my life!

Alternatively forget all of that and start dishing his dinner up on a side plate using approx half the plate for his food! Do this for a week and see if he asks for more. If he starts moaning and wants his portion sizes increasing he will have answered his own question!!!!

 

[deeby]

Haha Julie love the bit about giving hubby small dinners good work !!
i know that if i dont have wls i will prob never do it on my own as i have NO will power.
The difference with wls is that you know that if you have anything sugary or fatty you WILL dump , from what ive read it is the most horrible sensation and makes you feel like you are actually dieing !
With 'normal' diets you can tell yourself that you'll be good and only have say 1/2 a choc bar or only 3 biscuits rather than the whole packet and you have to use pure will power to not finish off the lot and anything else in the cupboard you fancy. Dumping takes your choice away i think , its a bit like the op is a will power implant i suppose.
xx Dawn

 

[jaynefrances]

I was always very successful at dieting... for a fortnight !! Beyond that i failed miserably and thats why i needed the bypass. I never felt satsified until i ate so much i felt uncomfortably full (or ran out of food !) In short, i was a bit of a pig !
My brain still wants me to eat like this, even though i'm not physically hungry but thankfully my pouch won't let me eat the quantities anymore and also wont let me eat the sweet stuff either.
I still have to work hard at making healthy food choices and i don't always succeed, but at least these bad choices are now less prevalant than before.
My hubby was very scared before my op and i know he wanted to dissuade me from it, but we both agree now that it was the right decision as he now has a "new" wife that is much more mobile and can do all the stuff with him that he's had to do alone in the past such as hiking, cycling, golf etc

 

[yorkshirelass74]

I have been struggling to eat post op, i really dont have much of an appetite, when i told this to my bariatric nurse, she told me that part of the intestine that has been bypassed produces a hormone (cant remember the name of it) that actually makes you feel hungry, so now it is not being produced.
Also i have found when i eat, its not a case of feeling full, it really is pain or discomfort that i feel, i dont actually have a full feeling as such.

 

[ChefClay]

Hi Diana, I take it your husband is not fat! Even though well intended, it is usually the type of comment that only slim people come out with! Lol - Best of luck, if it was only that easy! - Take care, Paul x

 

[keeley86]

my family say the same to me all the time when ive lost a bit of weight - "see you can do it, y dont you carry on and not have surgery"
i lost a load of weight b4 - got down to 13 stone from 21 and luved every minute of feeling thin but i soon put it all back on again plus more im now 24 stone.
a bypass not only cuts your portion sizes down but it also bypass's some of your intestine too so that you dont absorb as much too, plus you have the fear of dumping sindrome too - as far as im aware if you eat anything of high fat or high suger after bypass you feel realli ill - therefore i imagine that would train your brain to stay away from those foods, correct me if im wrong on that as im pre op im just quoting what ive read.
ive just started reading the "weight loss surgery for dummies" book this morning and im already half way throught the book.
hope this helps you answer your hubbys questions

xoxoxoxoxox

 

[Grace]

My surgeon told me that during the bypass operation, the part of the stomach with all the nerve receptors which send the messages to the brain:

HUNGRY, HUNGRY, HUNGRY = EAT NOW, EAT NOW, EAT NOW

is the part which is separated, and therefore doesn't function in the same way: hence bypassers don't feel hunger in the same way.

Pre-op I ate the wrong things, always felt hungry, and could not deny this feeling for long without becoming panicky and distressed.

Post-op I have not felt hunger like that once.

My surgeon commented that because I was a big portion eater, my stomach was huge (his words, I feel embarrassed ) but therefore had even MORE of those nasty nerve receptors saying HUNGRY!

This is why the bypass is so successful for big eaters.

I also wondered if I could 'do it myself' since I stuck to the pre-op diet so well: but the truth is the reason I was able to do that was because I knew it was short-term, time limited, and leading to a huge reward: the surgery.

In truth, I couldn't have done it on my own for long.

 

[purplefluffything]

So many interesting replys & lots make sence.
Julie u did make me laugh about the little plate & small portion .
Chefchef, sorry no hubbie is def not slim he had lost some weight actualy. He really is just very worried
I'm in Hospital for my health probs quite a bit last time was just a week ago & I was very poorly, he just does not want me to be ill & worries about any complications etc.
Thanks for all replys, I will definatly try to explain lots of what has been put In this thread hopefully it will ease his fears a little.
Hugs xxx

 

[phatmomma]

The difference with wls is that you know that if you have anything sugary or fatty you WILL dump , from what ive read it is the most horrible sensation and makes you feel like you are actually dieing !
With 'normal' diets you can tell yourself that you'll be good and only have say 1/2 a choc bar or only 3 biscuits rather than the whole packet and you have to use pure will power to not finish off the lot and anything else in the cupboard you fancy. Dumping takes your choice away i think , its a bit like the op is a will power implant i suppose.
xx Dawn

Sorry to burst your bubble Dawn but we don't all dump! I can still eat cake & biscuits, the difference now is if i fancy a bit of a low fat cake i buy one between me and the OH (when i say 1 i mean a muffin or a toasted teacake) and we share it and i make sure he has the much bigger piece. Not because i can't eat a whole one, but because i choose what i'm going to put in my body and not my mind like before my operation... I'm not sure if chocolate makes me dump, i've not tried it and i don't intend too. That really would be inviting the devil himself in for dinner!

 

[keeley86]

order this book love and let your hubby read it too it will help you both understand its excellent - weight loss surgery for dummies its called - i deffo reconmend it - its good!