Feeling disheartened

[joanne7271]

Hello, I just thought I would write my feelings down to day because i need to tell others who may know what i am going through.

I am feeling really disheartened today. I keep thinking is this all worth it...... what am i letting myself in for??? Is it the not being able to eat worth it, i want to lose about 5 stone and and thinking i am usually so focussed this is the one thing i aint able to do!! which is frustrating.

Think the biggest thing for me is what if i have it done then regret my decision.... i will be stuck with this for the rest of my life! :cry:

Grrrr not a happy bunny today and sorry for spouting off just having a doubting day today xxx

 

[clare-revised]

Hello, I just thought I would write my feelings down to day because i need to tell others who may know what i am going through.

I am feeling really disheartened today. I keep thinking is this all worth it...... what am i letting myself in for??? Is it the not being able to eat worth it, i want to lose about 5 stone and and thinking i am usually so focussed this is the one thing i aint able to do!! which is frustrating.

Think the biggest thing for me is what if i have it done then regret my decision.... i will be stuck with this for the rest of my life! :cry:

Grrrr not a happy bunny today and sorry for spouting off just having a doubting day today xxx

Hi JoJo,
Difficult to comment from experience as I had no doubts at any point.
I can lose weight, I CAN'T sustain it. Food is fuel, if you have a special relationship with food, you can best last £ in your purse, it's not the right one, or you wouldn't be here, or needing to lose 5+ stone.
If you think about everything you can't / don't do due to your weight, clothes, underwear, sex, health, inner spirit, then compare this to being able to have a varied (eventually - check out daily bypass menus for examples) but much smaller portions.
If when you make your comparison you believe you will be happier to continue & loose your weight conventionally then you've a answered your own doubts hunni....
Surgery isn't for everyone hun xxx
(((Hugs))))

 

[Jackiesnewstart]

It really is worth it all the junk you put in your mouth now you may find that you either don't fancy or if you do and you try it it may make you feel ill so it's not worth being sick. I have found that it's eating too much that gets me and sugar and fat. Don't worry we all have our wobbles the results are amazing I have lost another 2lb in the last few days its fantastic I wish the luck you will be fine.

 

[los in it]

im on this path because like a few of us here I want to lose the weight but just cant keep it off so I need help to do that.i have down days BEFORE im anywhere near having the op done but I guess that's normal its hard sometimes to keep on keeping on so ive started to keep a pre op food intake log to keep me honest and on some kind of track
I hope your day gets better
sending cyber love

 

[joanne7271]

Thanks u lovely peeps. I am hoping i am feeling better today. You would think it is the be all and end all this eating malarkey! Does food mean that much to me?

And Clare, you make sense there, I do stop myself from going out even sometimes because I hate the way my clothes look but I feel beautiful inside til i look in the mirror. I am a good person just the mirror does not reflect that back to me eyes.

I will go through with the op but i just have that naggin doubt there. I know i need to do something and i hope that as many of you have said the pros far outweigh the cons. It just cant come soon enough for me at the moment. I wanna be at the other side xx

 

[clare-revised]

It's human nature Jo,
Doubts, emotions, worries, - I mentioned earlier elsewhere that however much us mere mortals believe we embrace change, it's not true. We rebel against it with concerns & question it etc (lol clearly I'm inhumane)
Arm yourself with facts initially.
Make lists
Write things down
And make your decision that suits you.
X

 

[sparklysue]

Hello, I just thought I would write my feelings down to day because i need to tell others who may know what i am going through.

I am feeling really disheartened today. I keep thinking is this all worth it...... what am i letting myself in for??? Is it the not being able to eat worth it, i want to lose about 5 stone and and thinking i am usually so focussed this is the one thing i aint able to do!! which is frustrating.

Think the biggest thing for me is what if i have it done then regret my decision.... i will be stuck with this for the rest of my life! :cry:

Grrrr not a happy bunny today and sorry for spouting off just having a doubting day today xxx

Hi,

I too have between 4-5 stone to lose but doing it alone has been impossible these last few years. I have been cared for by my local dietetic department, taken Orlistat, had CBT and hypnotherapy and still the food just kept on going in my mouth. I love food, but was not in control of what I put in my mouth.
I had a band fitted 1 week ago after a long time of thinking about it and researching the band.
I feel that I totally made the right decision as I needed something extra to help me. Already I have lost weight and that feeling is so great. I paid myself for my band therefore must make sure this is a success for me. The weight that I am losing now, will be staying off finally and that feeling of being in control is liberating for me.
I know it's early days for me but I hope that this is the best thing I have ever done.

Make sure you look into different options and speak to your care providers to see which surgery will be best for you. Ask questions as much as possible and with time, I think you will know what you want to do.

I wish you the very best of luck xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[Lincs Lass]

Hi

All your thoughts are understandable.

In case it helps, today I had egg, bacon and beans for breakfast. For lunch I had roast chicken, pots and veg. I'm still trying to decide what to have this evening but probably booked egg and soldiers.

All portions are smaller than before but it is still possible to eat 'normally' x

 

[joanne7271]

Hi

All your thoughts are understandable.

In case it helps, today I had egg, bacon and beans for breakfast. For lunch I had roast chicken, pots and veg. I'm still trying to decide what to have this evening but probably booked egg and soldiers.

All portions are smaller than before but it is still possible to eat 'normally' x

Thanks Lincs, that has made me feel a little better, I just wish I had forsight or be on the other side lol.

Tomorrow is another day, hopefully better than today, first time i have felt really low like this xx

 

[sleevedangel]

I agree that losing weight will happen but maintaining the weight loss is actually possible with weight loss surgery. It will change your life for the better and make it much easier to maintain the weight. I could lose weight but never maintain it. Then I got older and couldn't lose weight very well anymore and got type 2 diabetes so I knew I needed help. It's okay to need help--it's okay to get surgery--and it's okay to worry. I thought I wouldn't lose weight. I did. I was scared about maintaining. I have been maintaining over a year now..close to a year and a half. I have changed my eating habits and my small stomach helps me eat small portions and feel satisfied. It will help you soooo much not having the big stomach yelling at you to be hungry all the time. You won't understand it till after surgery. The best thing is I just follow the rules and the weight stays off. Protein first, then veggies or complex carbs. Occasionally I eat something off plan but I keep it occasional. You can do this. Surgery DOES make it EASIer, not always easy though.

 

[joanne7271]

I agree that losing weight will happen but maintaining the weight loss is actually possible with weight loss surgery. It will change your life for the better and make it much easier to maintain the weight. I could lose weight but never maintain it. Then I got older and couldn't lose weight very well anymore and got type 2 diabetes so I knew I needed help. It's okay to need help--it's okay to get surgery--and it's okay to worry. I thought I wouldn't lose weight. I did. I was scared about maintaining. I have been maintaining over a year now..close to a year and a half. I have changed my eating habits and my small stomach helps me eat small portions and feel satisfied. It will help you soooo much not having the big stomach yelling at you to be hungry all the time. You won't understand it till after surgery. The best thing is I just follow the rules and the weight stays off. Protein first, then veggies or complex carbs. Occasionally I eat something off plan but I keep it occasional. You can do this. Surgery DOES make it EASIer, not always easy though.

Love this thread, I know it will help me lose weight and hopefully maintain. Onwards and downwards as they say.

I wish my date would come then I wouldnt drive myself crazy anymore x

 

[Val]

The only thing I would add..
If you are having doubts..explore them, Talk to professionals..as someone said earlier..
Surgery is not for everyone

I am 61 and had a band in October 13..I could of had it 10 years ago free on NHS but the time was not right for me emotionally..
it was the right time now I have lost 4 stone so far

Talk it through you need commitment to make this journey make sure you are ready

 

[clare-revised]

More words to chew over as it were...I overheard something on tv this evening...bariatric surgery about to go ahead, patient on trolley saying 'not sure I can do this....'
Response from surgeon was MOST patients have these doubts, right up to the very last minute...

I've been pondering this for a while since I would imagine most obese, seriously obese, morbidly obese peeps have a special intimate relationship to food that's about to be banded, sleeved, bypassed....
Technically your divorcing food, as far as foods concerned it's done nothing wrong, it's always been there for you, listened, when you're happy, sad, angry, drunk, sober....now you've got the audacity to say thanks but no thanks....
I don't want or need you like I used to....therefore you will have to replace the void created with activities, changes, hobbies, real friends that breath not taste nice!!!
It's such a huge learning curve .... physical changes followed by head catch ups

Just thought I'd add different angle on it x

 

[los in it]

like your angle on this
food has been my best friend
and my worst enemy
but has always been there for me.
but things have to change "friend" as your going to harm me more than your doing now
your right.....it like having a break up chat but im saying "it is you and not me " ha ha !

 

[clare-revised]

Hi Los,
Kind of yes ..... obv most people worry about the effects of surgery in so much as 'every surgery comes with risk'.....
I think I was trying to launder alot of people's thoughts that they don't publicly announce.
It's not easy to admit your having a 'relationship' with food & nothing else matters when your with it...trouble is long-term...Well we all.know only too well don't we

 

[joanne7271]

Hi Val, Its not the surgery I am worried about really, I feel much better today it is all the issues afterwards........ I know I need this I am just finding it hard at the moment to keep motivated to keep the weight off that I need to before I get the 'date'

 

[joanne7271]

Hi Los,
Kind of yes ..... obv most people worry about the effects of surgery in so much as 'every surgery comes with risk'.....
I think I was trying to launder alot of people's thoughts that they don't publicly announce.
It's not easy to admit your having a 'relationship' with food & nothing else matters when your with it...trouble is long-term...Well we all.know only too well don't we

Clare, You have given me such wise words since I have been on here. You are always there to give me your experience, thoughts and advice.

Just wanted to let you know that I really appreciate it x

I need to do something about it now, I am not going to let my chance pass me by. I have a lovely hubby and three beautiful children. I want to be the best person I can for them, and I cant do that while I feel this fat.......... it stops me from doing things that I know my children would love me to do with them, park, swimming, walking etc. They dont understand that it is because I cant face people looking at me.

My close friends say I always look lovely and I carry my weight well, thats not good enough because as much as they love me and say it, I DONT BELIEVE IT!.

I need to learn to love myself and then I can be a better person, for my husband and my children.

 

[clare-revised]

Clare, You have given me such wise words since I have been on here. You are always there to give me your experience, thoughts and advice.

Just wanted to let you know that I really appreciate it x

I need to do something about it now, I am not going to let my chance pass me by. I have a lovely hubby and three beautiful children. I want to be the best person I can for them, and I cant do that while I feel this fat.......... it stops me from doing things that I know my children would love me to do with them, park, swimming, walking etc. They dont understand that it is because I cant face people looking at me.

My close friends say I always look lovely and I carry my weight well, thats not good enough because as much as they love me and say it, I DONT BELIEVE IT!.

I need to learn to love myself and then I can be a better person, for my husband and my children.

Awww!!!!! Bless ya JoJo... xxx

I sometimes think letting peeps brave enough to air their feelings know that they're are those of us feeling it to, or have felt it recently is the yin & yang of it all. I can't post how I feel BUT I can relate to what I see & how others are feeling - iykwim????

I'm fed up of friends, colleagues telling me - you look great, it doesn't matter, I don't feel it, not really, not deep down really. You know the score, checking to see if your the biggest, everyone looks fab in their clothes except you, you feel sweaty etc.

The lightbulb moment is admitting you have a poor relationship with food, the difficult bit for many, not all but many, is severing the ties.

No one will ever truly understand it hun - other than a fellow bariatric patient xxx

(((Hugs)))) xx

 

[joanne7271]

Awww, do you find it difficult to post your feelings?

Also, what does iykwim mean lol....... sorry not good at txt speak xx

I feel like I can relate to you, I am on the same level as u x

 

[clare-revised]

Awww, do you find it difficult to post your feelings?

Also, what does iykwim mean lol....... sorry not good at txt speak xx

I feel like I can relate to you, I am on the same level as u x

God yeah, emotional stuff n feelings....eeekkk, I go into a meltdown lol xx

Iykwim - If You Know What I Mean xx