Feeling low

[Wendy1]

:cry:.Hi guys i am feeling low, weight loss has been great, but long term partner, has not spoken to me for 3 days. last thing he said is i have changed since op, last November, He never wanted me to have the op, and said some very nasty things before i went in. I forgave him but would not let him see me in hospital.but i cant forget, i needed him but he was not there. dont know if it will ever be the same again.Dont know what to do, but needed to rant andyou guys are good listeners :cry::cry:

 

[Karlos]

I'm rubbish at relationship advice so I don't give it but I reckon there will be plenty along real soon. I would say look into your heart and decide if your partner is someone you can't live without and want to live with for ever, if yes find a way to work through this, if not.......

 

[mariew]

I am sorry you're feeling low. I am on hubby number 3 so maybe I am not the right person to give marital advice. I would be very surprised if you haven't changed since your op. If you haven't you are probably in the minority. Perhaps you are more confident and outgoing since losing weight, perhaps other people are paying you attention and compliments?
If your OH is not confident himself then he may be feeling very threatened by this and not know how to express himself to you except in anger. I know other people are telling my hubby that I will leave him when I lose weight and he'd better watch out, perhaps someone is whispering these things in your oh's ear?
Have you asked him what he wants from your relationship? more importantly have you asked yourself?
Good luck and I hope you sort this out soon. I know how bad you can feel when home life is filled with stress. xx

 

[Wendy1]

Thanks Karlos and Mariew. its nice to have some feed back, but i know its up to me. thanks for reading xx

 

[mariew]

You're welcome hun. Don't you have a close friend or a sister who knows you both and can give you an honest opinion? Huggs xx

 

[starr]

you rant away love ,we all need to get things off our chest sometimes, so many people struggle after weightloss,wls or not ,with relationships, it does change people,it must do! ,but not always for the bad , we all grow and change all through life, maybe you will look back and think yes i changed and it was the best thing i ever done ! , keep strong and do whats best for you , chin up xxxx

 

[Ali_B]

Rant away. i'm crap at realtionship stuff!Hope it sorts soon.

 

[TwinkleTwinkle]

So sorry you are having a bad time, Wendy There has been some good advise already but it is not really advise you need, is it, as only you know your situation & how your relationship works. Confiding in someone close, who knows you well is a good idea as long as they are a good listener & not too judgemental. You will find your way through this, but in the meantime do not let him destroy any new found confidence you may have gained due to your weight loss. Just remember, life is not a rehearsal & you deserve to be happy. Take care x

 

[penguina]

I have only just seen this post. You rant away, and let it out, it does help. And sometimes to read back what you have written when you have a clearer head.

Him just not speaking to you isn't helping at all, and won't improve the situation. Try to talk and work out what you both want, at least you would know where he stands and maybe work together or not depending on the outcome.

All the very best wishes to you at such a hard time. xxx

 

[Wendy1]

Thanks guys its nice to know people care, i will work it out, but wont be bullied into doing what i dont want xx

 

[katemal]

Sending love Wendy.

 

[Magsy]

Sending a big wrap around hug x

 

[starr]

hope your ok love x ,just to let you know im thinking of you , xxxxxxx

 

[Tray3004]

Aw good luck Hun hope u sort it out x

Sent from my iPad using WLSurgery

 

[penguina]

Hi wendy hope you are good too. I started divorce proceedings today!

 

[Wendy1]

Thanks guys not been on line for a few days but feel better after reading your posts xx

 

[starr]

been thinking about ya,,hope your ok? always here if you need a chat love. xxxxxxx

 

[Wendy1]

Thanks Dawn xx

 

[mariew]

Hope things are ok for you Wendy, I keep thinking about you. xx

 

[Fashionably Late]

(((HUGS))) I know I changed a lot after my op but it has strengthened our relationship. Look within your heart and make sure he is the right person for you and your future. If he is, have you thought about counselling?