Filled with regret

[Hargs]

Hi all


Is this normal. I has sleeved on 19th and I am pain free and an get soups and liquids down no problem. I researched this surgery for a long time after having a failed band and slowly regaining weight I felt it was the right step my bmi was 30 when i started. However I am now filled with regret. Is this normal? Will I ever be "normal" again? I am just reaching out because I feel so rubbish today. It does not help that I told my mum after surgery and she hit the roof and threw me out. I was well aware of what this surgery involved but now I am left feeling so down ?

 

[carrieb]

Not sleeved, but bypassed 26 July. I have had plenty of "down" times too - I think it is probably quite common early days, especially eating purees/liquids, and not getting enough nutrients. There are lots of people on here with good advice, I'm sure you'll be fine in a few weeks. Chin up kid!

 

[Hargs]

I don't know what's happened I feel fine physically thank God. I just feel very emotional. How are you getting on?

 

[carrieb]

Very happy with weight loss, (3.5 stone including pre-op) just have not enjoyed any food I've eaten so far - most enjoyable thing is milky coffee/chocolate drink. Hoping this improves with time, but hey-ho - I needed to lose weight for health reasons. Really miss salads, fruit etc. and struggling with lack of carbs but realise it's early days and I'm in it for the long haul so trying to look at all the positives, which far outweigh negatives for me.

I do think no matter how much research you do there is always something that you were not prepared for, or didn't expect to find difficult. Really though, only good can come of it (in my opinion). It is normal to feel emotional too - and it's very early days for you. Loads of lovely people on here, so don't feel alone xx

 

[Hargs]

I am enjoying soups and drinks the taste is fine and going down well. I am not too tired and wounds are healing well. I don't know where this feeling has come from. I also feel that I might keep losing weight until there is nothing left of me. I am about 10lbs down in a week and a half. I have about 20lb to go. I did not expect to lose so fast as I am getting cals in.

Have you eaten out yet? Do you enjoy socialising with people and drinking/eating etc

 

[paddyp]

I honestly have no idea why your mum reacted in that way but I am so very sorry that she did. You must be devastated. My mum has passed away but I so wish she was here to day to see my weight coming off as I know it was something that worried her until her dying day xx

I also wonder, but have no idea if there is any basis on this, but I went NHS and had to jump through so many hoops, group sessions, psychological assessments etc that meant I knew I was 100% ready for this and the changes it would bring. It was over 2 years from referral to surgery and there have been no surprises. I am not sure what the private route entails and how much time you are given in therapies etc to get to come to terms with this major life changing decision. All I can tell you is that for me the alternative to stopping the cycle of food controlling my every move, decision, relationships, finances etc was that I was die. Getting bigger and less able to move I would die. Simple. I have no regrets - occassional wobbles but no regrets. Hope things improve Sx

 

[Hargs]

My mum reacted so badly because my bmi is 30 and after my gastric band slipped I did not received the care I should have and nearly lost all of my stomach so my mum thinks this was drastic and selfish after all I had put them through. My weight has been creepy up since my band was removed and I felt totally out of control, miserable and felt like I said no or was very anxious about every social event I was invited to. I have been in every diet club since the age of 16 (I am 28 now) and not had much luck, I have taken every diet pill available and spent thousands of pounds on personal training. I had finally had enough and after through research decided that a sleeve was the right option for me.
Obesity runs in the family and everyone on my mothers side is obese - I know that is down to lifestyle choices as well as genetics and conditioning.
I think the fact that I have fallen out so badly with my mum makes me feel regretful, she said some very hurtful things to me during the argument mostly because of shock I suspect.
How are you getting on? How far out of surgery are you?

 

[paddyp]

I feel so sorry for you. I wish my mum was here to support me but to have your mum around and things be like this must be awfully hard. Don't get me wrong my mum was the most judgemental so and so you could ever with to meet but she would have supported me over this.. Is your mum big - could that be part of the issue? Sx

 

[Hargs]

She used to be until she got a gastric band. She has not lost as much as she wanted but it did work for her and she is doing great. She just thinks I am foolish for messing around with my healthy insides. For her it is very drastic

 

[moomoo1]

taking a dip emotionally after an op is pretty normal especially if you throw in a bad row or two, its possible your mum feels at the bmi you are now you didn't need the surgery but you have to do whats right for you, I too have a failed band to go thru everything you do being banded having to start again with a different wls can take it out of you, give yourself time and if in a few weeks you still feel same chat with your gp

 

[Hargs]

Thanks Moomoo1

You right a row is never good is it. Probably not on top of all the medication I have had, and being in the house alone to think about it. I go back to work next week so should be busy enough to take my mind off it. Did your band slip? I think it is more common than they tell people

 

[windyone]

The anaesthetic can often make you feel down as it takes weeks, not days to leave your body...it is fat soluble, so even though your BMI isn't incredibly high, if you are overweight, there is more anaesthetic retained in the fat tissue than for thin people.
You may find yourself a bit moody over the next couple of weeks, but it will improve...I was sleeved on 9th July, and I am now feeling much more on an even keel

 

[Hargs]

Thanks,

How are you finding things now? Are you on solid food? How's that going?

 

[windyone]

Yes, I'm on solids, eating fairly sensibly (little and often), and weighing once a month. It seems that I can eat pretty much whatever I want, only in small quantities. I eat out occasionally, and simply say that I have only 25% of a stomach, and they bring me whatever I want.
If I hadn't told people, I'd just say I was on a diet, but I've told everyone, including the postman and several friendly but random strangers
My mood has evened out a lot...I have to make sure I don't get too far behind on food, as that makes me grumpy, and I take my anti-depressants with a snack now, so I make sure I absorb as much as possible.

 

[WitchInWorthing]

aw sweetie - big hugs...

at the end of the day, your mum is entitled to her opinion, but it doesn't mean you have to listen to yit - you have to do what is right for you and nothing your mum says is going to undo the surgery, so give it some time and space and I am sure you will patch things up.

Keep your chin up and remember that you are doing this for a stronger, healthier you!
xxx

 

[Hargs]

Thank u


I am just so sad about not speaking to her, I feel like I have done something wrong. In her eyes I have done something horrific but I could not keep the weight off myself I tried everything. I know time is a good healer it's just a waiting game really and I know it can not be rushed just so sad ?

 

[Yvessa]

You could write to her hon. Explain why you did it and how it was making you feel. And also why you kept it from her as she's probably very hurt about that.

 

[Hargs]

Yeah she is. She thinks my fiancé should have stopped me. Believe me it was not easy getting him to support me. He did not agree with my decision but supported me by looking after me. I think I will try and contact her again today, it's just so painful listening to her telling me she does not want to talk to me. It's making me regret this so much

 

[Yvessa]

Yeah she is. She thinks my fiancé should have stopped me. Believe me it was not easy getting him to support me. He did not agree with my decision but supported me by looking after me. I think I will try and contact her again today, it's just so painful listening to her telling me she does not want to talk to me. It's making me regret this so much

Mums are funny things they get scared for us. She loves you and she will come around but at the moment she is probably angry and hurt. Regret is very normal especially given your situation but it will get better I promise.

 

[Hargs]

Thank you very much. The support on here is amazing! X