Following on from my previous bad day threads:

[salski]

Well I found out why the woman at work wasnt speaking to me: Its because she has lodged a complaint about me.
We send jokey texts to each other, and one day when I sent her one she was having a bad day, when I went off on holiday she has complained about me. She has shown my boss and because I sent it in work time, its classed as instant dismissal. He said I dont have a leg to stand on as its classed as offensive. I called her a s*ut and a t*at but I was saying it in a jesty way...she had a week off and I was joking saying she was going to sleep with her builder. She replied saying 'I dont appreciate being called a t*at ta' so I stupidly carried on joing, turns out she wasnt finding it funny.
My boss basically said if I had gone in Monday, hadnt have gone home sick Tues or he was in Wed I would have been sacked, but as it was today when he saw me and her chatting over a brew, he said it was silly of her to complain and will be placing it on my record for 12 months but not taking any further action.
Im mortified that 1, she took offence (I have at least 8 joke texts off her on my fone in the last 2 months all could be seen as offensive) 2, that I upset her that much and 3, that I could have been sacked for something so silly.
I am gutted that I was so stupid. I just was joking, and now I feel like I cant be myself. I feel awful

 

[Bev]

Hi Sal,

Glad you have got to the bottom of this, it's been rumbling on for long enough and you just don't need it.

It's difficult with folk who are 'variable' one minute from the other... one minute you think you know them the next minute the goal posts have moved.

My advice, having seen this at work over the years is to always be polite and professional... A good measure of being able to do this is to follow the 'politician mode' of a pleasing smile for all and quietly saying 'sod you' in your mind.

At least you know where you stand with your Manager... send the jokes to us... we would appreciate them and don't let the b........ grind you down... there is always another waiting in the wings.

Hang onto the work friends that you know better and take no damn notice from now on... turn the other cheek and hold your head up... it's not a hanging offence to have a sense of humour and I find a cheery word will help in the workplace rather than looking at miserable faces... the job still gets done.

Lift yourself up now and put it where it belongs and 'paint a smile' and be ready to just be polite and professional and move forward.

Loving hugs to you as always and put your feet up and rest now... with a snuggly blanket!

Love you xxx

 

[dottychic]

OMG, what a sad old moo! In some ways its a shame he didnt sack you as with the evidence you have on your phone you would have had a good case for tribunal! Like Bev says, just smile and be polite and think **** off in your mind! Dont loose any sleep over it, its not worth your time (HUGS) XX

 

[salski]

Thank you for your kind words. I know its a work place, and I knows its professional so I have no one to blame but myself. I just literally thought it was a joke and really hand on heart did not want to offend her.
I remember pulling her up about 2 years ago as she got drunk one Friday night and sent me racist jokes - I have no time for crap like that and I deleted them, and on the Monday said to her to never forward me racist, sexist, homophobic etc type jokes as I do not find them funny...she said fair enough and that was that....now this. Why could she have not pulled me up and said it all to my face....Im gutted but I know I have no one to blame but myself

 

[dottychic]

I dont think its your fault Sal, you were misled by her into thinking she had a sense of humour, you werent to know it changed by the day! XX

 

[Bev]

It's still something to let go now Sal..

You can't predict how this person is going to react (impossible with some people) it's not your fault, so I'd just use what I call... 'politician mode' in the workplace... I then do what I have to do politely and leave...

It's best to just try and carry on amicably and not let this fester any longer... you have had a huge learning experience with this one... and it doesn't half hurt at times...

You really can do without it and you don't need any of this type of stupidity as you go through pregnancy... plus all else...

Chin up Angel... love and humungous hugs on their way to you!

xxx

 

[Grace]

Sal, although I think it's great advice to just leave it and not think about it any more, I suspect it's going to be easier said than done. I completely sympathise with you; this is just a horrific situation to find yourself in and I can only imagine how upset I would be feeling. One thing is for sure: you know now this person is absolutely not to be trusted, obviously.

One thought occurs to me: was this some nasty form of retaliation for your asking her not to send racist, homophobic jokes etc?

Obviously she's not the person you felt she was. Personally I think this was the type of mistake anyone could've made. I'm so sorry for you love.

I hope time is going to heal and you're going to be able to put this behind you in time.
much love and hugs
Charis xxx