Funny incidents

[Caren]

Hello
Just thought it would be fun to share funny incidents that have happened or been said in your life, i'll go first lol

As you know im a bus driver, well one day this old man got on in the afternoon to go back home after shopping, he said to me
"hello, you following me? I went down on you this morning"

hahahahahaha i was in hysterics, he had no idea what he'd said bless him :8855:

 

[flowerofshona]

I was horse riding in Spain, the guy in front fell off so i went to leap off my horse to catch his horse, as i swung my leg over he grabbed it and pushed me right over the other side onto the floor, he though i was getting back on and gave me a leg up :8855: :8855: decided it was safer to ride alone from there on :8855:

 

[TwinkleTwinkle]

Which do you want to hear about, lol ... they follow me around ... from the time on the rocket ride at Blackpool when I got in one side & it rocked sideways & threw me back out the other on top of the young lad operating it or when I took the girls shopping in the days when I wore half underskirts & it fell down in the middle of the shopping mall & I picked it up so quickly my eldest daughter thought it was my knickers or when we went out for the day to a local beauty spot, Mansell Head & I stepped in what I thought was a shallow stream & did a Vicar of Dibley, up to my waist in stagnant water ... no one wanted me in the car on the way home cos I smelt so bad ... or when one snowy Christmas we had been to York (love York at Christmas) & rushing to get back to take my son to the pictures I realised we had no cream for the next day & called at a shop that was about to close, so I ran across the car park, slipped on some ice, landed in a load of wet slushy snow, got up very quickly & had to sit through Christmas on 34th Street in wet, cold, everything :wave_cry: Caren says I am accident prone ... can't understand why, lol xxx

 

[Caren]

Which do you want to hear about, lol ... they follow me around ... from the time on the rocket ride at Blackpool when I got in one side & it rocked sideways & threw me back out the other on top of the young lad operating it or when I took the girls shopping in the days when I wore half underskirts & it fell down in the middle of the shopping mall & I picked it up so quickly my eldest daughter thought it was my knickers or when we went out for the day to a local beauty spot, Mansell Head & I stepped in what I thought was a shallow stream & did a Vicar of Dibley, up to my waist in stagnant water ... no one wanted me in the car on the way home cos I smelt so bad ... or when one snowy Christmas we had been to York (love York at Christmas) & rushing to get back to take my son to the pictures I realised we had no cream for the next day & called at a shop that was about to close, so I ran across the car park, slipped on some ice, landed in a load of wet slushy snow, got up very quickly & had to sit through Christmas on 34th Street in wet, cold, everything :wave_cry: Caren says I am accident prone ... can't understand why, lol xxx

hahahahaha only you Denise, only you

 

[Kath in Buxton]

Ha ha ha ha at all the other funny stories . . .
Time to add one I think . . . I was that tired last night, I almost put Olay face wash on my toothbrush!!

 

[mariew]

I am a window cleaner, as you can imagine it's hard to find a loo when you work in small villages, one freezing cold day I was bursting, I got my hubby to drive up a lane and stop in the gateway to a field. I looked all aound but there were no people or houses in sight, I dropped my jeans and knickers and was mid stream when all of a sudden a blooming tractor came over the brow at the top of the field, straight towards me.....and after having 3 10lb babies there's no way I could stop weeing!!!!

 

[suebland]

Well like caren I am a bus driver too and this particular day i was so sick of seeing people getting on my bus looking so bloody sad, not speaking etc... So I stopped to pick this lady up, she had a face like thunder threw her money at my virtually so I said " it's not the the end of the world you know" well she looked at me my bus was packed and she shouted back" yes actually it is what would you do if your husband had just given you crabs" I Have never been so gob smacked and the poor lady on the the front seat where she sat soon got up ha ha ha x

 

[Karen19745]

I went to meet my boyfriends mam & dad for the first time, it is my 2nd relationship as I am divorced. So I had the kids with me too. At the time I smoked, I was sat in the kitchen with his dad having a cigarette and the kids had followed me in, I leaned over to flick my ash in the ashtray and my son pulled the chair away, I went arse over tit as you can imagine, his mam and dad were horrified, the kids were hysterical, I wanted the ground to open up, I said you naughty boy you don't do that. When we got outside the air was blue I was going to kill him. I told my family and they nearly wet themselves laughing x

 

[Mrs Quiggle]

Well like caren I am a bus driver too and this particular day i was so sick of seeing people getting on my bus looking so bloody sad, not speaking etc... So I stopped to pick this lady up, she had a face like thunder threw her money at my virtually so I said " it's not the the end of the world you know" well she looked at me my bus was packed and she shouted back" yes actually it is what would you do if your husband had just given you crabs" I Have never been so gob smacked and the poor lady on the the front seat where she sat soon got up ha ha ha x

I keep looking everytime the bus goes by me ready to wave but of course you're not at work at the moment lol.

 

[flowerofshona]

Marie that reminded me of a lovely ride i went on with friends in the New Forest we stopped for lunch at a pub in Burley, un saddled the horses and went for a few drinks came out later slightly merry LOL saddled up put foot in stirup saddle landed on floor, it helps if you do the girth up!! 20 mins later and with some help i got back on my horse now all was fine until the liquid wanted out so i said to friend hold me horse im going behind the bush for a weeee staggered off had a very long weeee pulling up jodpers and looked behind me to see a row of caravans with people sat outside watching the freak show THEN i could not re mount for laughing and embarresment !!!!!!!
So if you saw a full moon on the forset it was meeeeeeeee :8855:

 

[jema]

I had a pot on my leg after I'd broken it, and had been out for a drink or two with friends and needed the loo. I limped over a small barrier into, what I thought was a back alley. Skirt up, knickers down and 6 floodlights came on with an announcement over a loud speaker system... Could the lady with the white leg please move on. You are trespassing...!
Another time was last week when I was late for the bin men. I'd heard them coming down the street, pulled some clothes on and rushed out carrying this huge box of rubbish. As I ran towards them, shouting for them to wait, my jeans fell down! I just looked down and said, 'I can't believe they don't fit, I've been on a diet, but I can't believe they don't fit'. I was too happy to be embarrassed!

 

[mariew]

hahaha Jema, that made me laugh xx :8855: :8855: :8855:
I may have to go and change my knickers now!

 

[l7ktk]

A few years ago I went out for a few drinks with the girls to the local.. By 11pm I was well p*ssed and the girls were ringing cabs to take us to a nightclub. I went for a quick wee before the cabs got here..... I must have dosed off on the toilet!! When I walked back into the pub there was no one there! Just 2 of the bar staff sitting having a drink at the end of the bar. "Where did you come from" they said to me. "the toilet" I replied. "where is everyone" I asked. The barmaid pointed out to me that it was 1.30 in the morning!! I must have been asleep for over 2 hours. I was so embarressed! They had locked up and had to get the keys to let me out of the pub! LOL!!!

 

[jojo12080976]

Hello
Just thought it would be fun to share funny incidents that have happened or been said in your life, i'll go first lol

As you know im a bus driver, well one day this old man got on in the afternoon to go back home after shopping, he said to me
"hello, you following me? I went down on you this morning"

hahahahahaha i was in hysterics, he had no idea what he'd said bless him :8855:

That is too funny bless him, should have said well " hope it was as good for you as it was for me" that would have really confused him lol x

Sent from my iPhone using WLSurgery

 

[Louise1]

I'm also a fan of the things people say that are just plain wrong.
I went for my endoscopy a few weeks ago and one of the ladies looking after me asked what op I was having. When I said bypass she told me I was a really pretty girl and would be a stunner thin.
I didn't know whether to take it as a compliment or be offended!!
x

 

[Caren]

I'm also a fan of the things people say that are just plain wrong.
I went for my endoscopy a few weeks ago and one of the ladies looking after me asked what op I was having. When I said bypass she told me I was a really pretty girl and would be a stunner thin.
I didn't know whether to take it as a compliment or be offended!!
x

hahaha i would take that as a compliment! you are obviously pretty, and with a lovely slim body you will be a stunner! xxx

 

[Andy1968]

Well like caren I am a bus driver too and this particular day i was so sick of seeing people getting on my bus looking so bloody sad, not speaking etc... So I stopped to pick this lady up, she had a face like thunder threw her money at my virtually so I said " it's not the the end of the world you know" well she looked at me my bus was packed and she shouted back" yes actually it is what would you do if your husband had just given you crabs" I Have never been so gob smacked and the poor lady on the the front seat where she sat soon got up ha ha ha x