Help. I need some advise

[cjskts]

I have been battling for most of my life with my weight. I am now 30. At my heaviest i was 28stone 5. I have been using xenical and am now down to 25st 5. But i have been stuck at about 25stone since beginning of Jan. and am now feeling very down. I'm in pain with one thing or another daily. My GP has mentioned before about surgery and i decided to go down the xenical route. But that's not working any more. Been to the docs today who weighed me and i have gained. I can't stop eating rubbish (not literally of course!) and she asked me how i feel about surgery now. And i dont know how i feel. Me and my DH wants to have a family soon. I have complications with my womb that may mean i need help to conceive (which is secret reason for not losing weight i think because i'm panicking about being pregnant and sick and labour!) and i wont get help if i am too old. Now i really really want a family with DH and that is another bridge to cross at another time.

But do i want surgery? I'm scared about dying from the operation, but i could die tomorrow. I'm also worried about being sick after the band. Also i'll have to go through most of it on my own because DH is a teacher and wouldn't get time off work to come with me. Questions questions.

I have looked at before and after photos on here and they are amazing. But i haven't seen anyone who is as big as i am. Can you give me your opinions. I have looked at the hypnotherapy version, but dont know if that is wasting time.

 

[Grace]

My opinion? Read through some of the diaries on here. Go ahead with a referral because its a long slow process and you can do your thinking and research whilst you wait. You can always change your mind along the way if you decide to.

But do your research. Decide what you REALLY want.

Is food your best friend and crutch (it used to be mine) or is it your enemy (it became that for me)

I had my bypass 7 months ago and would do it again in a heart-beat. Its given me back control over food/eating, my self-respect and self-esteem...among other things.

But it isn't for everyone. It has to be your choice, and you have to decide to embrace it and what it means in terms of life-style change in order to work with it.

Whatever you decide, very best wishes to you.
Grace xxx

 

[Mixman]

Hello and welcome. I was 31st 12lb before I had my sleeve.

If you're thinking about a band, then this won't stop you eating rubbish! The band is only a tool to work with. People have got extremely great efforts from a band but it really needs great will power. Having the band won't give you this if you haven't got it in the first place.

Everyone worries about dying during the operation, you're only human

 

[xxsarahxx]

Don't worry chick, there are plenty of us out there that are bigger than you....me being one of them lol. I'm 32.4 and i've just had my funding approved for surgery. Like you i have tried xenacol and various other things but none have worked. Take time to read all the posts and peoples diaries and you'll learn loads. Hopefully this might help you come to the right decision. I can only speak for myself but the scary thoughts are totally overpowered by the excitement i feel to live a healthy and "normal " life.
Good luck on your journey x

 

[Andrea73]

Hi and welcome. It doesn't matter how big you are at the end of the day your weight is affecting how you are living your life. I had been on a diet since I was 14 (over 20 yeaars) and had been on every diet under the sun including hypnotherapy and lighterlife etc. I just decided I couldn't go on living like this, I was so miserable. I couldn't get surgery through the NHS so I researched it all and found a great surgeon called Mr Ammori. Anyway I thought I would go for the band but after chatting with the surgeon it was decided that due to my eating habits, I would be more suited to a bypass.

I had my bypass on 17 October 2009 and have lost 6st 6lbs and now weight 9st 11. I had no complications after surgery and my aunt has also had the op due to my success.

I know that it is probably a scary thought but be honest with yourself. Do you want to lose weight or are you happy as you are?? I think you know the answer to that. Also ask yourself, can you lose the weight on your own? Again you no the answer to that question.

Surgery is such a huge step and in your mind you do have to be sure you are making the right decision for you. Once you have done that the I'm sure you won't regret it.

Good luck in your journey whatever you decide and if you need any advice or have questions then there is always someone on here with lots of advice. I still ask questions and I am 17 months out!!

Take care x

 

[dottychic]

I was 24 stone 5lb so not much different to you hun....I had been overweight all my life and I had lots of co-morbities....life threatening co-morbidites and having the bypass was the best thing I ever did. I still have a long way to go but I feel so much better already. Whether you choose to go for the band, bypass sleeve etc its got to be your decision. Its not easy what ever route you choose but its better than the alternative XX

 

[shelbell]

Hello, I cant add much more to what others have said aside from mentioning that I have had a bypass and a baby I had my bypass in July 2008 and fell pregnant 8 months later (not recommended so early post op). I reached my goal 1 month after falling pregnant and have maintained ever since. My son has not been affected by my surgery at all.

Being sick post bypass is nothing like being sick normally. It's short and sweet with none of the prolonged retching or bringing up bile. It tends to be a quick bleugh of froth and that's it. Can't comment on what it's like post band, but to be honest if you go the nhs route it is more likely they will recommend the bypass or sleeve.

I agree with Julie, get the referral process started as it can be a long slow process, and you can stop or delay it at any time. Best of luck x

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[thinnerangela]

Hi

I was over 24+ stone when I had my op - and I chose a DS as it fitted in with my eating habits. I was booked for an RNY till I was sent to the Nuffield for my op - however if I'd not had the DS I think I would have opted for a sleeve - which I wuld have had if I couldn't have had a one stage DS!!

All you can do is research, research and do a bit more research.

I was too old for babies when I had my op - and luckily had them around the 16 st level!! - I'd do it again in a heartbeat.

xxx

 

[cjskts]

Hi. I'm not sure what the codes mean. What's DS (in other forums it means Darling Son) and what is a RNY?

I'm please to hear that the vomiting isnt too bad. Its the retching that i can't cope with - i go into panic mode, no idea why! I think i'll end up with the bypass rather than the band after looking them both up on the internet.

Can i ask what eating is like? Can you eat normal foods once you have healed but in much much smaller portions?

 

[shelbell]

A DS is a Duodenal Switch, which is a type of surgery. RNY is the most common type of gastric bypass, it stands for Roux-En-Y.

From quite soon post op I could eat pretty much anything. I'm not affected by high fat foods, although some people get bowel problems with them, but do find that they taste very oily and greasy now, which is off putting. I can eat sugary foods but only in small amounts, otherwise I get dumping syndrome, which is an unpleasant reaction including dizziness, sweating, tiredness etc. Apart from that I can eat anything, just smaller portions like you say. I eat the same meals as the rest of my family and have no problems eating out or at parties. I went out for a 3 course meal last week

I have had some post op complications from my bypass. I have a very high malabsorptive rate, which is called chronic malabsorption and in medical terms means I am G.I. Compromised. Thus just means I have to rear a very high calorie and high fat diet now to prevent further weight loss. I also developed reactive hypoglycaemia which means my blood sugar drops to a very low level for no reason, and I have to eat sugar quickly to reverse it. I wasn't diabetic or anything pre-op. I think this was brought on by being pregnant so soon post op. These days I am used to it, can feel it coming and stop it before it gets too bad, and it only happens once a week or so.

Even with those complications, I still love my surgery and have no regrets.

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[cjskts]

Thank you Shelbel. It seems that your in a similar situation as i am. I have virtually made up my mind that i am going to say that i'm going to have the op. Its been a thought in my mind for years. I have tried loads of diets. Most do work, but then i gain what i have lost, plus some. Done Slimming World, Weight Watchers, Low Carb, Lypotrim, Xenical, Slim Fast etc etc So i need something that will be a new way of life where i dont need to use will power alone. I managed to quit smoking (cold turkey) and never looked back. But i cant seem to do it with food. But i suppose thats because to stop smoking, you just dont pick up another cigarette, but you cant stop eating!

I'd just like to be able to buy clothes from Primark for £1 a top, not from online catalogues that charge £10 per top. Or for my husband to be able to pick me up. Or to be able to kneel on the floor without hubby having to come and help me up. Or go on a plane for the first time in my life without worrying about the seatbelt fitting. Or skip!! I cant skip any more. I cant hula hoop either! i used to be able to. Ride a bike! I'd love to ride a bike again. Not been on one since i was about 13! And i want my Sketcher shoes to fit. I bought them years ago with the plan that by summer i would have slimmed enough to wear them comfortably. I want to buy pretty shoes and underwear and not have to wear cheap plain bras (i have small boobs but big back, so not many shops stock 40-42 a-b!) and to be able to wear pretty sandles, not Crocs because that is all the fits.

 

[shelbell]

I can understand so much of that. These days if we're out and there's nowhere to sit I sit on hubbys knee! I buy a dress for a function and feel amazing. I have a couple of pairs of heels that I can wear all day long with no problems (would have more but I'm disabled). I have matching underwear that didn't cost a fortune. I don't feel like an embarrassment to my husband when we go to functions for his friends or family, in fact I encourage him to scrub up a bit better for my sake! Throughout my pregnancy I wore tight tops to show off my growing bump and loved it. With my eldest I was heavy and didn't even show till 7 months!

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[keeley86]

Hiya Hun I haven't read through all the posts on here as I'm getting a little tired but I just want to introduce myself, I'm keeley I'm now 23 stone after recently loosing 18lbs, I am currently waiting for a bypass on the nhs and I too would love a family but can't get pregs because of my weight, I bet as soon as you've lost your weight you'll have no problems with gettin
Pregs even if you do need a little help your chances will be higher.
Shelbel is a BIG inspiration and one of the best people to talk to but I think you will be making the best decision of your life if you decide to have surgery! Good luck with everything Hun and I'll look forward to seeing how you get on xxxx

 

[DaisyMaesy]

I too did not ask for surgery and the doctor suggested it. I too was the same as you with the smoking, I gave that up in an instant after 20+ years at 40 per day, but give up food? How the hell do you do that?
Keep up the research, research as many procedures as you can
IABS - Laparoscopic Sleeve Gastrectomy
This is a good site that explains a lot of them. I am still pre op so cannot help with the sickness etc but as others have said, do read the diaries, they are inspirational