Help - Pre-op depressed & struggling

[kurvykaren]

Hi
I'm on a bit of a downer today just sitting thinking about everything.
I'm waiting to hear if the multi-disciplinary team are going to approve me for surgery, although the consultant did say it wouldn't be a problem when I had my first assessments back in August I don't think I'll be happy till it's definite. Then got to get the funding approved. Thats worrying me more. My hubby works for the NHS in our area and has just been told they need to make big cuts and he's facing possible redundancy as non-clinical staff are a big cost. So as well as worrying about his job I'm wondering if they'll now say that they don't have the money or won't pay for my bypass.
When I met the dietician during the first assessments she suggested that I should try to lose between one and one and a half stone, but I'm struggling so much. Obviously if I could diet I wouldn't be in this situation, and I'm worried if I don't lose anything they'll think I'm no good for the op. I'm supposed to phone her with an update on my weight but haven't done so yet, I'm too scared incase they say I'm rubbish.
I think til I know it's all going to happen I can't get my head around it all. Just feel like a complete failure at the mo.
Sorry for rambling, but need some advice to get me motivated. Thanks x

 

[gaelic girl]

Aw hun you are having a tough time at the moment! In any situation the waiting is always the hardest to deal with. It's that fear of the unknown that drives us to distraction and thats whats happening with you just now there is that horrible word "uncertanity" hanging over your head and you are entitled to feel down. What i do is make a list and then put them down in priority. Then look at what you CAN do something about as opposed to what you CAN'T. Take small steps towards the CAN and when you achieve what you set out to do no matter how small it seems, treat yourself to something that you would really enjoy and tell yourself how proud you are to have got there. Meanwhile i'm sure i speak for many when i say we are here for you anytime you need us. Big hugs hun and I hope things improve and you feel better soon. Big hugs x

 

[phatmomma]

Aww Karen don't be harsh with yourself. With all the worry going on for you and yours i'm not surprised you are feeling down and struggling with dieting. Dieting is hard enough as it is

Try and set yourself achievable goals and be sure to congratulate yourself on your reached goals. Sometimes we don't give ourselves credit for all we do achieve, instead we beat ourselves up for what we haven't managed.

I'm 100% sure that you have very very commendable qualities that you need to affirm. Keep your chin up girl xx

 

[sugga]

I can totally relate to your situation love. I was just like you and still am really to be honest. I was told to lose 10lb back in April but went on holiday and gained. When i went back for my consultation the doc was furious with me and told me to lose 1 stone in 4 weeks or he wasnt going to put me on the waiting list for surgery.
I had been so depressed prior to this because i just couldnt lose the weight and like you was thinking all the time, if i could lose the weight on my own then i wouldnt need surgery. Anyway i knew it was do or die, so i came home and started a mainly liquid diet which consisted of milky coffee and slim fast for breakfast, the same for dinner, and protein salad and yogurt for tea. I had another milky drink in the evening.
I was going to the gym 4 times a week too. I still struggled and cheated along the way, but mainly stuck to it. When i went back 4 weeks later i had lost 18lb but it had been so hard. Mr Patel at the Hallamshire hosp in Sheffield was so pleased with my weight loss he was beaming. He then placed me on the waiting list and i booked my pre op appointment that day. Im due a bypass in December. It is so hard lovey but you are not alone with this. I think as soon as you get the go ahead you will be able to focus better and start losing some weight because it seems that you have to prove that you can lose weight on your own in most areas. I hope this has helped and feel free to contact me at any time. Good Luck xxx

 

[Bev]

Hi Karen,

I get just like you and have been there many times and what I tend to do is to make a list charting things in each category with a personal comment from my heart and I tick them off as I go... it can help to sort your thoughts and to keep a priority focus... give it a go and keep us posted.

Wishing you all the luck in the world and please keep positive.... think positive and the world becomes a brighter place....

Sending loving hugs and also bringing a thread up to date called 'Believe in You', please have a read...and comment.

Fondest wishes to you, Bev xxx

 

[yorkiegal]

hey karen,
I'm in the same situation as you, waiting for the multi disciplinary team to meet and then for funding to be applied for. I've a feeling they've already met but I'm not due back to see them til november and don't dare ring to ask if they've made a decision yet. I feel very much in limbo at the moment and am struggling a lot to get into a regular exercise regime. I found out yesterday that my friends wife has been given a date for her op and she was referred after me, so I'm feeling a tad jealous if I'm honest. I haven't been asked to lose any weight but I have had to promise to exercise and I'm really failing with that.