Hi

[MelowD]

Hi, my name is Melody, I am not having weight loss surgery, however a very close friend's daughter is, and I want to know how best to support them as a family. The young woman concerned is a mother of three herself so I feel they are going to need a lot of support both practical and emotional, especially as op is scheduled for the beginning of the Summer holidays. I have to be honest and say that I have not been someone who is in agreement with this type of surgery in the past so I want to have my prejudices challenged and better understand in order to be of some use.

 

[elizaxx]

Hi there, do you know what type she is having, as the recovery will depend on what type of WLS she is having. Her diet will change. there will be a pre op diet to follow, and then she will be on liquids for a few weeks after, followed by puree, and then soft food. After that she will eat normal food in much smaller portions, but its important that she still makes healthy choices. The surgery is a tool which can really improve her quality of life x

 

[SUNSHINE]

Hi welcome.

 

[MelowD]

Hi, thank you for your responses, she is having the 'sleeve' and is currently on the pre op milk diet.

 

[countrywench]

Hi melody and welcome !
It's really lovely you want to support her as she's going to need a full understanding of why she's doing this to herself ..
How much does she have to lose ?
Thinner people can look at us and ask why cant we just stop eating .. It's not that simple .. Eating for some of us is a drug and like a drug addict we seek every day what makes us feel good .. We all have different food drugs , some are chocolate some are savoury , some eat everything they can get their hands on .. Some are grazes and eat all day long , and some don't eat all day but eat all evening until bedtime ..
How can you survive if you don't eat ? Carbohydrates in itself is the worse drug there is .. Those types of food , esp junk food , triggers a hormone that creates a feeling of reward in the brain . Some of us are effected more than others , we are all different ..
Then there's emotional eating .. This wonderful feeling that food gives us makes us feel happy ..
One lady I know admitted to me that she eats to keep herself fat so no man will want to come near her , I won't expand on that , I'm sure you can work this out yourself ..
Weight loss surgery is not a cheats way out .. I get very cross when I hear this ..
If your car is broken you get it fixed , if you have health issues you sort them .. I have over 10st to lose to even get myself in the healthy BMI range and at 53 I'm never going to achieve it on my own ..
How many people have lost massive amounts of weight only to put it all back on ? Our surgeries are painful and life changing and we only get one life so why not get a little helping hand to prolong it ..
One way you can help her is if you can cook and she cannot , you could offer to help teach her to cook from fresh as this is the most important thing she will have to do ..
Sorry for the ramble
Xxx

 

[los in it]

Hello and welcome, it's great to see that you want to support your friend even if you don't agree with her choice
Have you told her your thoughts on wls? Its a difficult decision to make especially in the current climate of fat shaming and obesity been a major talking point in the nation
I wish her luck and hope you find the support and advise you can use to help your friend

 

[starryeyed]

Best of luck to your friend. Sleeve can take 3-4 weeks for her to feel okay in herself. It will be a hard journey. I wish surgery was an easy way out and the weight drops off but it doesn't. We have to work really hard in order to see a loss and sometimes people can feel quite ill through their journeys. Like I said all you can do is be there for her. Everybody's journey is different. Maybe she can join the forum to read up on other people's journeys to get an idea ?

 

[Rose2016]

I understand that you do not agree with WLS. However I hope you can see that we are intelligent, articulate people on this forum who have one thing in common; we all need help after struggling with weight issues for many years, most of us for most of our lives. So I am pleased that you are open to being challenged on your opinions.

Your friends daughter needs support and positive and practical assistance. Before surgery she needs to do a special diet that detoxes the body, leaving her tired and emotional and probably questioning her decision. A decision she made after long deliberation, I am sure, as no-one would do this surgery if there was another choice. Her surgery will hurt and for a long time afterwards she needs to train herself to rethink her food and learn how to eat, and run a family of three children whilst her body goes into survival mode and she is sore and tired.

Be a friend. Help with the children and chores and support her choice respectfully. That's what I hope my friends will do for me.

Lastly - good for you, for wanting to help.