How do you deal with negative thoughts....

[FEDup1981]

Im so pleased that i have now been refered for WLS, but one thought keeps dominating my mind.....

Dying.

Im not bothered in anyway that i have to change my life, im just petrified that i may die during surgery, or after due to complications. Im fed up of reading horror stories in take a break, and the like. I have a 2 year old son, im scared in case anything happens to me.

How have you dealt with these negative thoughts?

 

[hopelesscase]

The way my life was going it never entered my head. Without the surgery my life was going to be sh1t and cut short with lots of complications along the way.
all surgery carries a risk and as long as you get yourself as healthy as you can pre surgery you will be fine.
HC

 

[shelbell]

For me, I just had to accept that it was a risk. I made sure that everything was sorted just in case, and then put it to one side. I am not a big worrier (I used to be), as worrying is really futile, it doesn't do any good at all!

You have to learn to concern yourself only with that which you can control. If you can't control it, then let it go. I know it sounds overly simple, and it takes a long time to truly be able to do it, but that's what got me through. Basically, yes I could die, but there is nothing that I can do about it, so there is no point worrying about it, so I'll just let it go

 

[charliegirl]

I thought if I died, whilst I would worry about my kids I then realised I would not know I was dead so it would not make a difference....xx

 

[Big an Bouncy]

Charliegirl,it would not make a difference to you but surely your children and family would be devestated.Imagine how they would feel losing their mum/daughter/spouse.

 

[FEDup1981]

Yeah, its not me im worried about. Its leaving my family to deal with it all. Leaving my husband to bring up a 2 yr old on his own. Leaving my gorgeous son, the best thing thats ever happened to me, without a mother.

I know that this is my last option, that if i dont do anything now, it could have serious consequences in 10 years time or so. But i cant help but worry. I think ill be on tranquillisers (sp?) for the fortnight before surgery!

 

[charliegirl]

Charliegirl,it would not make a difference to you but surely your children and family would be devestated.Imagine how they would feel losing their mum/daughter/spouse.

Well to be honest, both my parents are dead, my daughter who lives a few doors away has not spoken to me for 10 months over god knows what because I dont know, even though I sent her a text a few days before surgery saying I wanted her to know I loved her in case anything went wrong, which I knew it would not, and I never heard a dickie bird back. My son has done near on bugger all to help when I needed it this last week so whilst they might be devastated they should start showing it now because I can not live my life not doing things which will better my life for fear I will die and leave them upset. I cared for them for the last 30 years it's now time to care for me. Sorry if my post affended someone but I am only speaking the truth we cant change the plan of life thats already laid down for us. The original post was asking how we cope with negative thoughts and thats my way of coping...xx

 

[gingernutter]

charliegirl, I would miss ya!

 

[charliegirl]

I aint going anywhere chick lol...xx

 

[Frosty]

Hiya

It does go through your mind about death . But if you die on the table you will never know anything about it ( thats how i thought )

But the facts are that hardly anyone has trouble from the byasses etc nowdays , all these mags just write about it to shock people into reading.

Notice they dont publish how many people die from giving birth and such.

Or the fact that more people die from falling coconuts on holiday then people die from shark attacks.

When you speak to your doctor ask him how many people he has lost . i bet you it will be none. mine said none and only a few had problems which were quickly fixed.

But in all its hard not to worry its normal but as it all gets explained to you , the less you will worry.

All my best and i hope your wls trip will be swift and not stressful

 

[FEDup1981]

thank u everyone. I will try and keep things in perspective xxx

 

[tammy]

For me it was a case of i was gonna die from the health complications anyway what did i have to lose but than be healthier and happier. i did have alot of worries about the op and complications but weighing things up i had nothing to lose and everything to gain.

the bypass has changed my life and i now am healthier, more confident and happier with me. so in a nutshell it was well worth the stress and worry x

 

[ditzyangeluk]

Personally, I put little value on life & death to be honest (but that is neither here nor there). YOU have to question, what quality of life do you have WITHOUT the op with your little boy?

(Btw - stop reading the horror stories in mags! They are extreme cases!!)

 

[julieann]

i agree, stop reading the horror stories because lets face it, for every horror story they print, they never actually say how many are successful,and there are a lot more that are successful than not