how to deal with questions???

[joujou]

Hi, just wondering how to sidestep awkward questions from friends I'm not telling about the band,

I will undoubtedly will be in situations later in the year where drink and food is involved however I am a terrible liar and wondered what or if any of you may have an anti-awkward reply to those dreaded questions?

 

[flutterby1966]

Best of luck with your op joujou. Mr super did mine too I cannot help re what to say, as I cannot lie ... I told everyone, cos I thought it would help keep me focussed and make sure I didn't waste my £6,000. I am lucky I only had interest from friends and colleagues, and no negative comments (to my face at least ) ... Sure some banders who have experience in sidestepping the awkward questions will be along soon

 

[Jess78]

Hi, just wondering how to sidestep awkward questions from friends I'm not telling about the band,

I will undoubtedly will be in situations later in the year where drink and food is involved however I am a terrible liar and wondered what or if any of you may have an anti-awkward reply to those dreaded questions?

I have told everyone apart from my sister and husband that the op is to deal with my wheat intolerance and hernia as too many people have such negative thoughts about wls and feel we should just diet. No one fully understands except close ones and those going through with it xx good luck with your op xx

 

[ThinnerJemima]

Tell them you are on a diet. The diet is you just eat less, and eat off smaller plates.

If people pursue this, I have bored one person to tears extolling the virtue of smaller plates, square or round and studies (i.e Secret Eaters on Channel 4) showing this to be true and that they should try it themselves sometime. And.... do you know just how many calories are in alcohol, helps if you can also roll your eyes at this point as well.

Funnily they leave you alone pretty soon

 

[piglet8]

I only told my husband and my parents and no one else have questioned it.
To be fair they think I'm just on yet another diet and this time sticking to small portions. I was dead paranoid initially, like I was walking around like a giant lying billboard for wls but no one has questioned me so far

 

[-Sally-]

I just apologise and say I'm not feeling 100% if people question why I'm not eating much - it keeps things simple.
Most of the time it can be avoided by wise menu choices.

 

[top_kat]

I have a band, only my aunt and my son know. My mum would if she were still here but that is it. None of my family, none of the people I work with . . .my band has actually played a very small part in my weight loss thus far, I've had no restriction at all until recently so it has come from strict calorie intake, limits to carbs, minimum limits of protein and LOTS of exercise. People know that I've been following that, and Im quite open with that. As it is, it isn't a lie, because its what I have been doing.

We even had a christmas meal with work and I was still able to eat most of it, it would be a bit more difficult now I have more restriction, but I just eat less . . .they know Im on smaller portions and that is enough.

I have no wish or desire for people to know, its also none of their business. I am not ashamed of my band, but it isn't something I feel I wish or have a need to broadcast to everyone I meet or know.

 

[joujou]

what an amazing bunch of ladies you all are, thanks so much for the great food for thought ;-) !!!

 

[Adorabelle]

Tell them you are on a diet. The diet is you just eat less, and eat off smaller plates.

If people pursue this, I have bored one person to tears extolling the virtue of smaller plates, square or round and studies (i.e Secret Eaters on Channel 4) showing this to be true and that they should try it themselves sometime. And.... do you know just how many calories are in alcohol, helps if you can also roll your eyes at this point as well.

Funnily they leave you alone pretty soon

Excellent!

 

[Karlos]

Who you tell and what you tell them is entirely up to you chuck, though I would say that in these days when WLS is so highly publicised most people are aware of it and even if you don't tell them the truth they will work it out for themselves.

As some of the others have said telling people up front disarms the grapevine and I found everyone I spoke to about it to be really interested and supportive. I am unaware of any sniping behind my back but it might have happened, but to my face everyone was fantastic. It also meant I could educate them about the positives of WLS and I believe that this helped them to relate to me and other WLS patients better

Good luck with it and I hope you make the choice that works out for you. I would say if you tell anyone at work then they will all know as even our best friends will find it almost impossible to keep it secret

 

[SleeveGirl]

Have you decided to definitely not tell anyone else? I'm not sure what to... I have to do the school run every morning so people will be talking when they see the rapid weight loss.

All the best

 

[joujou]

I'm in such a quandary! I don't want to tell anyone as I'm doing this privately and believe me when I say the catty comments will flow! I have a small group of friends and colleagues which don't have the same privileges as me in so far as my partner has a very well paid job, so anything I have or anywhere I go I'm judged for it. I don't rub anybody's nose in what I have but I know things are said and it makes me sad as I'm thrilled for others if nice things happen.

I have decided to just tell them its the the diet route, which isn't untrue as I will be following a diet, but I hate the fact I'm not giving them the full picture. cant have it both ways but its going to be hard enough when I start losing and the envy starts (been there already) And yes you all ask are they really friends? well there all I have.

 

[SleeveGirl]

Awww bless ya... I totally understand, if I'm honest I'll probably say the same as you, but I'll be saying it to my family. The majority of my family are skinny and they are the same - they judge too... Sometimes I feel like saying, be in my shoes for one day and you will feel what I feel inside, then maybe, just maybe, you can judge! Good luck hun x

 

[joujou]

katy thanks for the reply, its pants when the people you so want to be ok aren't! however its so nice to have forums like this to share the whole 9 yards. :thankyou:

 

[SleeveGirl]

It's frustrating, but you're right it is nice to have this support I only found this forum today, been looking at an American one - wish I found this one ages ago

Can I ask what made you decide to have the band?

 

[joujou]

katy glad you found the site! I have been gradually slipping on the pound since my last huge loss of 4 stone (done on lighterlife) over the 4 years my life changed, I found the love of my life and comfort set in, he's great but he knows I am not the happy bunny I was when I met him (he is a big built man) so I have been on the 5-2 diet, WW blah blah blah and honestly if I'm left to my own choices I choose stupidly cuz he does and hey it doesn't work for me...... so had a nose around the web and decided this is for me!

what about you?

 

[SleeveGirl]

Hiya, after I had my little girl I just couldn't shift the weight, so like you I went on LighterLife and lost just over 3 stone. Since then the weight has crept on, again I've tried every diet going, but I fail So I decided things have got to change and I need some help... My Dad actually has the band, unfortunately it hasn't worked for him so far (he needs to get it tightened) but I know others who have had it done and they truly look amazing. For me, the sleeve is irreversible and I don't want to ever be this way again

 

[mrsstreet]

I have told about 5 people, my boss, parents, husband (obv) and my brother.... oh yeah and all of you

I am also worrying about the questions. You see for me, I've been on every diet and so i think some people expect me to fail (this could be all in my head to be fair) also a lot of them wouldn't understand and they think it's the easy way out.... so I too will be doing the 'I'm not feeling too welll or 'i had a big lunch' when I'm asked.

 

[SleeveGirl]

Personally I also don't want the negatively before the surgery, I'm going to be having enough going on in my head without them adding to it as well!

Your having your band in a few days Good Luck

 

[mrsstreet]

eeek yes exciting indeed! Thank you! Yes I don't want any negativity, it's my new life and I don't need any one bringing me down!