My OH had his op on Tuesday, they done a sleeve due to having complications with his bowel, they then had to stretch his pouch as he couldnt take anything down. He has now been in hospital since Tuesday but he is making no effort, just laying there. He has no pain, just spaced out. I go for my op on Monday and just feel so tired and stressed out my house is a tip i am trying to juggle home life. His mother just shouted at me and told me to grow up but who is going to be there for me, i have been with him everyday have not been getting home till midnight i am on this stupid diet and feel really down. This was supposed to be a partnership i feel he is being so bloody selfish and playing on it, he wouldnt even wash his own face yesterday. Am i just being too hard on him.
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I am so down.
- Thread starter cheekybum
- Start date
J-Mo
New Member
No you are not being selfish & tell your mother-in-law to get her backside in the hospital & wash her sons's face!!! I'd have slapped him in the face with a wet flannel! Only joking (I'm not really 
)
Try to do what you can in the house this week-end 'cos if you're anything like me it'll get you down if you leave it. Then you'll try to do it after your op. Tell your OH to sort himself out & concentrate on YOU!!
This is your time & do not let anyone take the shine off this amazing gift you have been given. Its an emotional roller coaster that we're on anyway, without added stress.
Good luck for Monday
Take care
)Try to do what you can in the house this week-end 'cos if you're anything like me it'll get you down if you leave it. Then you'll try to do it after your op. Tell your OH to sort himself out & concentrate on YOU!!
This is your time & do not let anyone take the shine off this amazing gift you have been given. Its an emotional roller coaster that we're on anyway, without added stress.
Good luck for Monday
Take care
Mixman
New Member
Please don't think it's a stupid diet, it's not, it's only because you don't like it that you're calling it stupid. It's there for a reason, to shrink your liver, not to piss you off!
It must be really hard for you but unfortunately people react differently to surgery.
Your house is a mess? So what!! We're talking about the rest of your life here. Don't worry about the house, worry about getting yourself into a mental state for the operation.
Your other half is in hospital surrounded by nurses and doctors! He'll be fine!
Sorry to be blunt, just trying to give you a reality check
It must be really hard for you but unfortunately people react differently to surgery.
Your house is a mess? So what!! We're talking about the rest of your life here. Don't worry about the house, worry about getting yourself into a mental state for the operation.
Your other half is in hospital surrounded by nurses and doctors! He'll be fine!
Sorry to be blunt, just trying to give you a reality check
sugga
New Member
Good Luck for your op on Monday, there is some sound advise for you love and you must take heed.
You are going to need all you energy and strengh for your own op so try not to stress to much.
I think you are going to need to take a step back and start focusing on yourself for a while lovey. xxxx
You are going to need all you energy and strengh for your own op so try not to stress to much.
I think you are going to need to take a step back and start focusing on yourself for a while lovey. xxxx
thinnerangela
New Member
This is a MASSIVE HUG just for you!!
And good luck to you for your op!!
He's a big boy now - and can learn to look after himself - or get mum to help.
House not tidy? - tough - have a you day - bubble bath etc etc
And get healing soon on the losers bench
xx
And good luck to you for your op!!
He's a big boy now - and can learn to look after himself - or get mum to help.
House not tidy? - tough - have a you day - bubble bath etc etc
And get healing soon on the losers bench
xx
Katkit1
Not going anywhere!
Hi CB - Sorry you are going through such a tough time hun, try to be positive about your diet - you are so nearly there. You need to get into the right frame of mind for your op; and as others on here say - SOD THE HOUSEWORK - its always gonna be there. What matters now is you and your husband making a good stress free recovery, because it is much harder to be a success at anything if you feel so wound up about everything.
Concentrate for now on you; have a nice relaxing soak in the bath, and spend some time looking after and pampering yourself.
When you are recovered you will feel happier and have more energy once the weight starts coming off, about tackling things like housework - lets face it you`ve got the rest of your life to worry about it, so a bit of dust and grot won`t matter for a month or two, and if m/i/l is sticking her oar in ask her to help out by doing some, or by looking after the kids (sorry if I have got that wrong) instead of criticising what has nothing to do with her.
Having surgery can be very tiring, as well as uncomfortable if not downright painful to start with so take time to talk to your OH and learn to work together to give each other support; he needs to give it to you as much you give it to him. Try and make time for each other - because when you are down and vulnerable you need each other to lean on.
Sorry if I have gone on too long at you. You know we are here for you and want your weight loss journey to be successful.:family2:
Take care hun x
Love and Hugs xx Kat x
Concentrate for now on you; have a nice relaxing soak in the bath, and spend some time looking after and pampering yourself.
When you are recovered you will feel happier and have more energy once the weight starts coming off, about tackling things like housework - lets face it you`ve got the rest of your life to worry about it, so a bit of dust and grot won`t matter for a month or two, and if m/i/l is sticking her oar in ask her to help out by doing some, or by looking after the kids (sorry if I have got that wrong) instead of criticising what has nothing to do with her.
Having surgery can be very tiring, as well as uncomfortable if not downright painful to start with so take time to talk to your OH and learn to work together to give each other support; he needs to give it to you as much you give it to him. Try and make time for each other - because when you are down and vulnerable you need each other to lean on.
Sorry if I have gone on too long at you. You know we are here for you and want your weight loss journey to be successful.:family2:
Take care hun x
Love and Hugs xx Kat x
ladylite
New Member
Honey have you ever walked through a graveyard and seen a tombstone with "This person was good at housework" on it. No. As they say sod the housework. I can assure you, when you get over your op with will turn into a right little scrubber. Once on the mend you will have so much energy your house will be spotless.
Dont worry about hubbie, this is your time, anyway when you stop feeling sorry for him he may start to pull himself together.
This is your time, make sure you make the most of this, you are doing really well all on your own hun.
Good luck with the op...... big hugs. xxxxxx
Dont worry about hubbie, this is your time, anyway when you stop feeling sorry for him he may start to pull himself together.
This is your time, make sure you make the most of this, you are doing really well all on your own hun.
Good luck with the op...... big hugs. xxxxxx
Grace
New Member
Just to point out - I was very spaced out after my first op. Anaesthetics effect people very differently. Hubby may not be in pain, but this is very major surgery and he had a tough time by the sounds of it. It looks like you're going to have to look after each other and try to ignore non-essentials like housework.
Best wishes with it all. xxx
Best wishes with it all. xxx
Hi, sorry to hear about the stress you are under at the moment. Is your husband any different to what he was like before the surgery, or is he just being his usual self?
You need to try and prepare yourself mentally for your surgery, I am sure you have done and are doing the physical with the liver shrinking diet. The housework will still be there when you get back. My house was the biggest tip ever when I went in for my op the second time. Infact, it is still a tip. The living room and the kitchen are the only rooms which aren't too bad. M and the girls have helped me keep on top of it, (in their way). If friends offer to help, let them, don't be too proud to accept their offer.
As someone said, your husband is in hospital being looked after by drs and nurses. You now need to look after yourself, as if your BP is high when you go in on Monday, they might not do your op. Visit him, but try not to get too stressed. If he doesn't want to wash his face, so be it. The nurses won't let him get too smelly etc. Also don't forget that he is in an anti-climax situation now. Like having a child, the reality really hits following the op. He and you will be going through a period of transition and mourning. He could be worrying about how you will fare following your op is he's had problems.
Sending you lots of love and hugs.
love
Rebirth xxx
You need to try and prepare yourself mentally for your surgery, I am sure you have done and are doing the physical with the liver shrinking diet. The housework will still be there when you get back. My house was the biggest tip ever when I went in for my op the second time. Infact, it is still a tip. The living room and the kitchen are the only rooms which aren't too bad. M and the girls have helped me keep on top of it, (in their way). If friends offer to help, let them, don't be too proud to accept their offer.
As someone said, your husband is in hospital being looked after by drs and nurses. You now need to look after yourself, as if your BP is high when you go in on Monday, they might not do your op. Visit him, but try not to get too stressed. If he doesn't want to wash his face, so be it. The nurses won't let him get too smelly etc. Also don't forget that he is in an anti-climax situation now. Like having a child, the reality really hits following the op. He and you will be going through a period of transition and mourning. He could be worrying about how you will fare following your op is he's had problems.
Sending you lots of love and hugs.
love
Rebirth xxx
Thanks, all of you, I have taken a step back, I didn't go up yesterday I stayed at home and chilled, I left visiting to his parents. One of the biggest thing is the journey to the hospital it can take four hours if traffic is bad. I have spoken to him this morning, he is now in pain, which I said is normal after the amount of pushing and pulling they done on the bowel, and they are giving him to much mess in liquid form, that his tiny sleeve can't handle all that sticky solution. So it is making him feel really sick, I have said I will go up today as I want to see him before I go in tomorrow. It's up to him if he wants to get better, I can't make him myself x
