I am very offended

[Hollyhunny]

My brother in law gave my 6 year old son a 2 pound coin in his birthday card!!!!!

THAT'S IT! that's all! how cheap is that?
feels like he has put a price on my boy .

It isn't because he doesn't have money. I've already gone through all the reasons as to why, just boils down to,he is a lousy person..

I am so hurt and offended as my husband bought for his 3 kids for 20+ years! but hubby won't say anything to him for his own reasons..

I am steaming

anyone have any suggestions?

 

[Grace]

sorry to hear you feel so upset about this, but I would shrug it off and laugh......
....life's too short to get wound up about such people!

I'm regularly treated like this by my mum-in-law, as are our kids. I put it down to sheer tight-fistedness and it's become a family joke! We all howl every time a birthday card comes, because they're always so awful and come with a meagre coin or note and 'have a drink on me' written in it!

Hopefully your little lad isn't old enough to understand the meanness of his uncle.

 

[Mazza]

Sorry if this sounds harsh but at least he thought of him. Its really not worth getting upset about it, so please try not to let it get to you. Hope he had a nice birthday

 

[Hollyhunny]

thanks for that charis

he is very happy to have a big coin

i am just so tired of people treating you badly and all you can do is take it

sigh...

i do feel calmer now

 

[Bev]

Wishing you lad a very nice Birthday... and sending him lots of love... I would just keep a piggy bank and keep saving all coins... I'm glad that your lad was remembered and have a lovely evening together... xxx

 

[Grace]

thanks for that charis

he is very happy to have a big coin

i am just so tired of people treating you badly and all you can do is take it

sigh...

i do feel calmer now

I know what you mean, having had this type of thing from many people for most of my life (I was abused as a child, and once a victim, the chances of being re-victimised increase hugely - this is scientifically proven fact)

...but I've found in latter years that you can't control how other people behave, only how you do!
So my responses now tend towards grace and humour...not because I'm a great person...but because it prevents anger and bitterness in me, which I am convinced lead to great unhappiness and also illness.

I think that being able to forgive and not take offence leads to greater happiness and enhanced well-being!
and as you say, your little boy is thrilled with a shiny coin. I love Bev's idea of saving his pennies in a money box, get him into a good habit early in life!

so if you choose, you can put a positive spin on your brother-in-law's insensitivity.
I hope this doesn't come across as lecturing, i just love to share what has brought me great happiness as a lifestyle.

 

[lisa x]

I did giggle at this..as I can relate to this with one of my family members...
Just ride above it hun...and be ready for it next year with a smile...
(my revenge would be to give him the smallest piece of cake lol...)

 

[Hollyhunny]

quiet acceptance

thanks goils

this response is exactly what i was looking for

i was so upset, so emotional and def needed a someones sane point of view

i do tend to hang on to bad feelings and yes it does affect me negatively

so i will truly try to let this go and get sleep tonite:553:

 

[Bev]

Let it go Angel and say to yourself... ''at least he remembered the birthday''... don't hang onto it... everyone's ideas are so different and at the end of the day... just build up that little piggy bank and enjoy sharing, caring and loving your little man... love and hugs xxx

 

[phatmomma]

Personally i wouldn't say anything to your brother-in-law!

I'd just ring/text and ask him to take his beloved nephew out shopping with his birthday money! See what they can come back with for £2.

I did this game with one of my brothers for many years, then again with another throwing in babysitting along the way! Sometimes what goes around doesn't come around because he never reciprocated. It's not about the money it's about the thought. How much thought did it take to slip his hand into his trouser pocket and pick out a coin?

He could have at least gone down the local newsagent and found something on their rail or JD Sports and got a football for a few quid, then took the boy out for a game!!!

 

[dottychic]

I agree Julie the tight get! lol....my Auntie was like this, it was a family joke who got the cheapest present! I know its not the money that counts its the thought but with some people you can just see they pick the cheapest thing they can find.....We all got a brand new 50p coin one year and she tried to tell us they were collectors items my Dad thought it was hilarious, it was his sister so he knew what she was like! x

 

[Hollyhunny]

what a great idea

thanks Julie
i so should do that

asking him to take Christopher out to spend that 2 pounds is innocent enough

hubby says ''no, dont wind him up''

as he is our only help for when i go into hospital
he said he would get them to school in the am
(if it's convenient for him):sigh:

 

[Grace]

Sadly if you need his help, you're going to have to keep him sweet!
Just let it go hunni and sleep well tonight knowing you have the moral victory!

 

[deeby]

Haha this reminded me that my Nan sent my son a 'girls' birthday card from the age of 7 to the age of 13, lol, he used to get so upset and then after a couple of years we actually used to get really excited about opening her card..... is it ? isnt it ? is it ? isnt it ?...... YES !!!! she's done it again, in the end we used to have such a giggle over it.

I think where she's getting on a bit she couldnt see them properly but goodness me surely the law of averages would have meant she'd have picked up a boys card at some point ???
Anyway, my mum gets her cards for her now as she's 90 now and doesnt get to the shops much now. So now my son gets 'blue' cards yay !!!
XXX Dawn

 

[Emma Louise]

Maybe he's having money troubles?
I wouldnt get so upset about it, like bev and others have said at least he remembered the birthday hun.
Life is FAR too short to get upset about these things. There are some people in the world who believe that £2 is a lot of money (me included!).
Believe me i totally understand where you are coming from, my grandma used to brag about spending £300 on my cousin for christmas only for me to open my christmas present and find something from poundland. That was a pattern for years, now she doesnt even bother to send a card let alone a present for christmas pr birthday. She can hardly use the excuse that she doesnt know when my birthday is - its the same day as my dads (her son!) But i certainly dont let it bother me. Life is ment to be a happy experience, dont let these little things annoy you so. xxxxxx

 

[Hollyhunny]

thanks emma

now a day has passed i feel better about it

cannot change him

but it is possible to change me

and now I know from others that it COULD have been worse

 

[Grace]

Big hugs and well done for moving on so fast! I bet it feels good huh? So you got the victory! xxx