I can't imagine how my children will feel....

[phatmomma]

I can remember when i was half the woman i am now but my children have only ever known me as 'curvy' (that's how they refer to me, they get very cross if i say fat or if someone says either me or my friends are fat - we are curvy lol).

I can't imagine how my children are going to feel when i have had my surgery and my size changes. They've only ever known me at this size. In the last two weeks i have been following a healthy eating plan (with a slimming club) and lost 8lb, my youngest daughter age 10 is very impressed she told me that i don't look pregnant anymore i just look like i just got pregnant... Not sure how a mere 8lb makes that much difference but am just wondering...........

For those of you with small children like mine, what were there reactions when you had your operation when they visited you in hospital and also when you started changing shape so drastically?

 

[gaelic girl]

My children are older 13 and 24 but like you Julie they have never known me as anything else but heavy. At the moment neither of them are saying much my 13 year old still thinks that my op is "cheating" but that's teenage girls for you lol. Katie(13) would'nt come down to Manchester as she was too frightened too she had a vision of me covered in tubes and wires etc and did'nt want to see that but gave me a huge huge hug when i got home. I think maybe cause i'm still big they don't comment but ask me again when i get to an "alien" weight for me lol and i'll tell you. Congrats on your 8lbs gone xx

 

[Neen]

My youngest (8) was very concerned because he wants me to stay a "cuddly teddy bear" and the oldest (10) is my little personal trainer and keeps reminding me to do my exercises. As they are both Autistic and take things very matter of fact, it was fairly easy to explain to them that I need to get slim and healthy so I can join in with them and play more.
The hard bit was going to hospital as I have never been away from them.
Losing weight gradually as I am (not that I want to lose it gradually!!) means that both my lads are not really noticing anything drastic, just that their mum has more energy and is in a damn sight better mood most of the time

 

[StephieAck]

I dont have children but I understand where you are coming from because I am very close to my nephew and niece and my nephew just has never even felt comfy with me being called fat and his mum said to me the other day that he asked her would my hugs still feel the same when there isnt as much of me to hug..bless him.
Thats the thing, when kids have only ever known you as fat then it is strange for them.
Lets hope its as easy as it can be on them.
Steph xx

 

[AA1234]

My son is 5 and daughter nearly 2. Obviously she is too young to notice that kind of thing. As for my son, well he has actually said nothing. I really don't think he has noticed. He just sees Mummy. He didn't mention the way I looked pre op so to be honest I would have been surprised if he has said anything after.

I think when they get older they will obviously tell but I think up to about age 10 they just see you and not your looks.

 

[Fashionably Late]

It will be interesting to see my children's reactions. My eldest is nearly 12 and she has known me as slightly overweight to my current size. She thinks I am perfect as I am but I hope she supports me in my changes. My 3 year old twins have only known me as very heavy and I like the fact that they are still young enough to only remember me post-op.

 

[quetiapina]

My son is 21 and hasn't referred to it once. Miserable git.

 

[thinkbethin]

My kids are grown up (21,19,18) so they know but my friends little girl whom I adore and take everywhere with me was quite upset when I told her why I was going into hospital. She said she did'nt want my tummy to get small because I was her "cuddly" lol. If only every one thought of us as cuddly it would be greatxxx

 

[luscious_peach]

I haven't had my surgery yet but I am trying to prepare my two boys aged 12 and 9. The eldest doesn't have anything to say about it, but my youngest asked me if I thought he would get bullied because of my weightloss!

I was gobsmacked - I didn't expect that. He is really sensitive and gets really bothered by other peoples opinions. When he first started school, he refused to wear his coat because it "made him look fat" - he is tiny, not like me. He started calling me names too, so I think it was the influence of others. He was definately torn between what others thought and how he felt about me about me as he would tell me how cuddly and lovely I was in the next breath.

Anyway, I told him that most people would be surprised in a nice way and probably wouldn't be horrible, and if they were, then they were horrible people full stop.

 

[salski]

I run a church group for children each week, and when we broke up for summers holidays and returned a few weeks back, one little girl said 'wow Sally, have you got different' thats been the only mention. They are aged 5-10 and havn't noticed a thing! Hahaha

 

[gillabean]

Good for you, I wish I'd been able to afford it whilst my children were littl. They only ever knew me as the fat mum watching them play sport. They have never ever referred to my weight but I can't help wondering what our lives would have been like had I been slim. Well done for going into this whilst your family is still young.

 

[Cuppacocoa]

Interesting thread!

I have three children aged 12, 8 and 3. My 12 year old is so looking forward to me having the op. He is very grown up and sensible and knows it will be healthier for mum to be slimmer. Actually it was partly him that led me to proceeding with this op.

I had already tried and failed to get funding on the NHS and had all but given up on the idea. Then one evening my son, hubby and I were watching a programme about about a larger lady and when I looked over I saw he had tears streaming down his cheeks. When I asked him what was wrong he told me he was worried his mum was going die early because of my weight. :cry: He had never mentioned my weight before and I was both shocked and horrified at this reaction. It was a gut wrenching feeling, but what a wake up call! The next week I booked the appointment to see the surgeon privately.

My three year old daughter is too young to understand anything about it.

My 8 year old is another story, he currently knows nothing about the op, the reason being I have no idea what to tell him! He is a worrier for a start. I don't want him worrying about the operation. Also, I want to keep the op fairly quiet and I know he would delight in telling all his mates in the playground what mum has had done!! Luckily he is away the weekend I am having the op but he will have to know something for when he gets back. What should I say, any ideas??

Cuppa xx

 

[fatbutnot4eva]

i have three also ages 7, 5 and almost 2
they dont know i am having the op, they have only known me as fat, but my eldest loves me what ever my size when i m,ention it, i am on xenical which we call fat tablets and after a meal she will mention my fat tablets and i say well its to try and make mummy thin, she will say but I love you the way you are, my 5 year old daughters says when you are thin will you take me swimming and my son well he's far too young he just loves playing my boobs as drums so I hope he will notice when I have pert B cups LOL
I just cant wait oooh excited thinking about it. mmmm a scrummy yummy not a chubby mummy . x

 

[fatbutnot4eva]

Cuppa
what about gall bladder op, it is very smiliar ?
how heart breaking of your 12 year old, out of the mouth's on babes, thats teh amazing thing about our children they love us and we them unconditionally. x

 

[OnceKnightly]

I have an 11 year old lad. Right from the beginning i explained to him why i needed to have surgery. He has always known me as 'cuddly' and everyone at his primary school knew me like that. One of the reasons for surgery ( aswell as health issues) was that i didnt want him to get bullied at senior school for having a large mom. He has been fantastic! He watches what i eat, exercises with me, puts his arms round me and says that his hands nearly touch!! I certainly didnt give him enough credit. He had a rough time getting his head around the ins and outs of the anaesthetic but understood that without surgery i would probably have a heartattack or stroke. He says he cant wait for me to get on my bike and go for long rides with him. His grown up attitude really suprised me.

 

[phatmomma]

I'd say you had a gall bladder op or maybe appendix out? They won't realise your site is different place to where your appendix is, and that way you won't need to pick them up etc.......

 

[hopelesscase]

Honesty is always the best policy with children but said at a level they understand but never lie. Tell him that you have had an operation on yr tummy and because of it there are going to be certain things you cant eat for some time. If he asks questions answer with as much info that you feel they can handle making it factual but not scary.
My son is 20 and frequently when i have put something new on he will say wow that looks good. The only problem that he has had with me having surgery is what some lads have said when i have been out with him about me being a milf. It took me several weeks of asking before he finally told me but then added remember yr to old for that and not whilst im living under yr roof. lol

 

[salski]

Hahaha - Carol you are a Milf....I agee with them lads!

 

[hopelesscase]

ermmmm am i missing something sal lol

 

[phatmomma]

Honesty is always the best policy with children but said at a level they understand but never lie. Tell him that you have had an operation on yr tummy and because of it there are going to be certain things you cant eat for some time. If he asks questions answer with as much info that you feel they can handle making it factual but not scary.
My son is 20 and frequently when i have put something new on he will say wow that looks good. The only problem that he has had with me having surgery is what some lads have said when i have been out with him about me being a milf. It took me several weeks of asking before he finally told me but then added remember yr to old for that and not whilst im living under yr roof. lol

Oh Carol, you've just reminded me of the embarassment of when i had my first boyfriend over to stop and my son didn't stop out that night........... Yuk, my mom has sex??? Ewwwww

Luckily he's over that now lol xx