I HATE, HATE myself! Please, you are allowed to be strict!

[wombat]

Hi all,


I am just 4 months out of my bypass, and have lost 5 stones up to date.
I was doing quite well, but..... And I hate myself for it..... In the last few days I have fallen out of the wagon!

I have a 3 year old, who drives me absolutely crazy and has lots of issues and a 1 year old, who just started to copy everything a 3 year old does... And the biggest, MAJOR issue is food! He is a very VERY picky eater.... He can go for ever without food... And his latest "thing" is to say yes to food and then when it is in front of him not to touch it! Baby was a good eater, but now he learned from his brother not eating and doesn't eat his food as well...

This way I WASTE tons of food! And I hate waste! Hate it! I know it sounds corny, but knowing there are people starving and I am throwing away food makes me go bonkers...

Hence - for the last few days I started to mop up kids leftovers..... And as my 3 year old wouldn't even touch veggies, it is mostly pasta, potatoes, pizza.... All the foods I used to (well, still) love and the ones which I must avoid if I don't want to stay forever fat!

And it makes me so miserable... I hate all that "can kill yourself" but must provide 3 meals per day + snacks! And I started to resent my 3 year old because of it... I love both of my boys to bits, but at the moment I am struggling to like being a mother....

Tomorrow is a new day, and this stuffing my stupid mouth with carbs must stop!

 

[sweetquietjox]

Dont worry to much we all have our bad days, like u say tomorrow a new day, start as u mean to go on, good luck, u can do itx

 

[dottychic]

Aw hun I remember how stressful it is to have 2 young babies! Its one of the hardest jobs in the world and when you are struggling with weight issues the food thing must drive you to distraction! The only thing I can suggest is try and make some time (not easy I know) even if its just 15 minutes to chill out and relax doing something you enjoy.....listening to music, having a bath etc. Take some time for you! You know where you are going wrong with the food, so you also know you have to stop mopping up the leftovers lol....all you can do is try your best! Dont beat yourself up, none of us are perfect and I know I for one felt like a useless Mum most of the time when mine were little ((HUGS)) Hope you feel better soon XXX

 

[tink1974]

Hi Womat

I am really sorry to hear that things are so hard for you at the minute. I know exactly what you mean about the kids and not eating their food - my 5 yr old is attrocious at meal times.
I had serious issues with throwing the food out too and would clear her plate more often than not.
I went through a few CBT sessions which really helped and discovered that my issues stemmed from not being fed as a toddler by my natural mother. I always thought it was because I was always told to clear my plate when I was a child because the children in Ethiopa would give anything to have it.
I would recommend a few of these sessions as they were so beneficial. I wish you all the best x

 

[J-Mo]

Wish I had some pearls of wisdom but unfortunately I don't.

Kids certainly do try us at times. I had a phone call from my ex yesterday ranting at me that I don't feel my kids! They had told him I never make them meals!! My kids are nearly 16 & 17 years old.

Unfortunately kids don't come with a manual & are non-returnable

I'm sure you're a fantastic mam going thru a hard patch.

 

[phatmomma]

Why don't you play their game? It's well known fact 'mommy's dinner tastes nicer than their own... Get yourself a nice big plate of something and sit with it on your lap..... Remember to treat it like ''Debbie does Dallas'' with all the mind blowing sounds of someone eating food from heaven... See what happens when you tell them no first time they can't have none but reluctantly give in and let them have just a little bit, and a little bit more... Don't forget the silly ''you're eating all mommy's dinner'' comic faces.....

Alternatively, give them something you can re-heat (or as the NHS likes to call it, regenerate) later....

You know you shouldn't be eating their crap, there's so much nicer grown up crap to eat instead

Now stop beating yourself up and get back on the wagon before the hosses run out of control pardner )))) xx

 

[Bev]

Tomorrow is a new day and at least you are recognising the issues.. I do wish you well and hope that you start to feel a bit better... it's certainly a rollercoaster ride... keep hanging on during the bad days Angel and enjoy the good days... love and hugs xxx

 

[Wendy1]

Keep at it wombat you can do it, it is very hard to make meals for other people and not have any leftovers i find i am wanting sweet things and i have not dumped yet so i think i can get away with then, which i didnt want good luck xx

 

[wombat]

Thanks guys for your replies :hug:

They mean a world to me!!! You are fab!

I managed to calm down a bit and decided on a new strategy - just give kids more small snacks througthout the day and not bother with cooking (not untill they start eating a bit better). I mean, cooking a hot cassorole or sausages and mash at the moment is just masochism (sp?) to myself.

momma - thank you for your advice hun. Unfortunately all the parents tricks don't work in my case... If toddler doesn't want to eat - he wont. Silly faces and mummy's food and a possibility of a chocolate afterwards and all....Don't work. I think he might have some sort of an issues (not just ordinary kids being fussy). For example he has rituals, like the hat should be put on first, then the scarf, and fork and knife hast to be clean when he eats... Lots of them, but you know what I mean.

Once again, thank you all! Sometimes it is a bit overwhelming being with 2 kids....

 

[dottychic]

So pleased you have calmed down a bit Its so easy to get worked up when you feel overwhelmed by it all....Hope you have an easier day tomorrow (HUG) XX

 

[Rebirth]

Sorry to hear that things have been so hard. I have a saying that I say to myself when in the same situation. Either the bin can be the bin, or my stomach can be the bin. At the end of the day it all ends up in the same place...the rubbish heap, either in the sewage works or land fill. Better the land fill than me.

Sending love and hugs

Rebirthx

 

[Katkit1]

I think you realise you`re trying to hard with the food issue. Look at it this way, the kids wont starve, give them less and try not to allow much of the way of snacks in between meals, give fruit if their hungry. They learn good/bad eating habits by copying (same as little one is doing with big one). They eventually grow out of their eating fads by the time they get to their teens! - but they will never starve.

Loosen up and let them leave what they don`t want and BIN IT!


Take care hun x


Love Kat x

 

[cheekybum]

A very old trick, as soon as they are finished cover the food in lots of salt or washing up liquid, so then you wont want to pick at it, it so easy popping a fish finger or chicken nugget in your mouth, but you need to break the cycle, as other people have said dont worry too much about their food they will eat when they want, just start looking after you again xx

 

[Bev]

Thinking of you precious and hoping for improvement for you very soon. Love and hugs xxx

 

[ladylite]

You have to remember we had an operation on our stomach not on our brain.

I was disappointed when I found that my emotions could still get the better of me, in fact I was shocked, but although they do sometimes it is easier to get back on track and not get into the old habits.

Most of my habits are good and they are now overtaking the bad ones which suddenly reappear. Be a bit forgiving with yourself and dont think it is the end of the line if you slip up, most of us do at some time, but use it to learn new ways of coping.

Good luck hun and keep your chin up, you are only human.

 

[Bev]

Very well said Mary and it's a great approach.. love and hugs everyone xxx