Sundown I have never been so large and I too have been trying other things for years now. What have you decided to do? Have you booked a date?
Hey marz. Well I had a consultation last week and I'm likely to hear about a date early this week (consultant's secretary was on hols last week). I'm hoping for late October. I went off to the consultation on my own and armed with a list of questions; including how many of these ops the consultant had done, how many mortalities and what percentage had complications.
Family are dead set against it so I'm just refusing to engage in any discussion.... Can you do an operation without a chaperone? Without losing weight I know my life is destined to medical nightmares that hey progressively worse so I know I need it.
Well for me, my partner is supportive at present but my worry is that he prefers larger women and no matter how much he loves me, I fear he may no longer find me attractive if I lost most of my weight (but that won't stop me I'll hasten to add). My Mum is cautious and thinks it's extremely drastic. She's accepted that I won't lose weight on my own, but is more on the "You're happy enough, why don't you just leave things as they are?" side of the argument. The rest of the family are dead against it and think I'm being irresponsible/stupid/wasteful and should just diet and exercise more if I want to be slimmer.
Any advice on approaching family constructively?
Have all the facts to hand. It's a *fact* that 95% of people who diet put the weight back on in 5 years so diets alone are not the solution for the vast majority. Have the facts about WLS surgery to hand; it's not just that it's changing how much you can eat, or how what you eat is processed (in the case of bypass), it's that it's literally changing you hormonally so that you have more normal hunger/full signals, higher sex drive, less likelihood of developing Type II Diabetes (and if you already have it, the surgery seems to fix it). The following is an interesting article on hormonal changes following bypass surgery:
How Does Gastric Bypass Affect Weight Loss Hormones? | Laparoscopic.MD
Conventional diets
don't change those hormones which, they believe, is why the vast majority fail long-term.
Against that,give them the figures on the likelihood of developing serious conditions if you stay obese. For instance you have a 40% greater chance of suffering from some types of cancer if you're obese. You've got more chance of suffering from heart disease, stroke, diabetes, infertility, sleep apnea etc. On the society front it's a fact that, all other things being equal, an obese person applying for a job will likely lose it to a thin candidate. In work obese people are likely to be paid less than their thin counterparts. We suffer on the insurance front; often finding it impossible to get life insurance. Society is becoming more and more prejudiced against the obese too.
If you are clear that you want the surgery then I think the way to tackle family is to stay away from the emotional side (that's the side they'll be arguing from) and concentrate on those cold, stark facts. If the worst comes to the worst, pull the emotional card....."You love me, so do you really want to see me stay fat and die young because you're not willing to understand how this surgery can help me?"
