Just a little word from a long termer bypasser

[emma-louise]

Hello all...

I don't post as much as I would like too...but being an old bypasser(3 years and 4 months out)
If I can offer any advice to anyone new or struggling I try my best with my own experiences since having my surgery done.
I my surgery done under dr ammori at Manchester and at my biggest I was size 26 I'm now 12/14 sometimes 10 if I'm a lucky girl!
I usually check on this forum everyday for posts,as its good to keep some contact here as I find it helps me a lot mentally.
However....just lately I've noticed on a few posts when people have just had their surgery done and the weightloss is dropping off at the start.
They use the wording "a lb gone forever"...or hope they will never see that weight again.
I just find this mindset slightly worrying..
I don't want to preach to anyone,but please don't think the weight is gone "forever".
Myself had a phase where I wasn't really checking my eating and a few bad habits creeped in without me realising.
It was only until I got to my hospital for a weigh in and appointment,that they told me I had gained almost a stone.
I was so upset!..and wondered how the hell I had allowed this to happen,when I went to the extremes of having my body replumbed.
So that made me lose that gained weight straight away,and now I'm maintaining.
Believe me when I say,once your weight stabilises the maintaining is when the hard work begins!!
But live life as everyone else and be good to yourself with a treat,just know your limits or don't do too much.
There's not many long termers on here,but just wanted to share x

 

[Yvessa]

Totally agree Hun. We need to be aware.

 

[Kimberly]

Removed

 

[fjsinc]

Wise words Emma. Thank you. I'm nearly 10 months out now, so I'm not long term, but it's not new either. I hope you don't mind, but I'd like to add something. Often I read people talking about how WLS will make them happier, it worries me, because it doesn't. It doesn't change your personality or the majority of your problems. Being thinner does not mean you will feel anymore satisfied with yourself. And sometimes you swap one set of problems for another. Don't get me wrong, I don't regret it for a second, but these are things I knew pre op, but didn't really believe.

 

[Yvessa]

I totally agree with this as well. I am happier now then I was but not necessarily because of the weight loss.

 

[pinklady2609]

I am really glad you super experienced ladies have started this thread - I always read this 'gone forever' thing and think how can they be so sure and confident of that and thought maybe it was just me being pessimistic !! I only had my bypass in September and have lost a lot of weight already but am so not taking it for granted. When I sorted my "too big" clothes from my wardrobe I put them up in the loft as still can't my head around never being like that again !

Thanks for all your great words if wisdom x

 

[amymcd]

Emma this is what scares me the most... Putting it back on again

 

[emma-louise]

Wise words Emma. Thank you. I'm nearly 10 months out now, so I'm not long term, but it's not new either. I hope you don't mind, but I'd like to add something. Often I read people talking about how WLS will make them happier, it worries me, because it doesn't. It doesn't change your personality or the majority of your problems. Being thinner does not mean you will feel anymore satisfied with yourself. And sometimes you swap one set of problems for another. Don't get me wrong, I don't regret it for a second, but these are things I knew pre op, but didn't really believe.

So very true...in the start of weightloss life was euphoric!..as the doctors call it " honeymoon period "
Since having my surgery I have become a more confident person I will speak my mind(and not be the fat girl who hides away)
But since having the surgery I have changed and feel at times I need help with counselling.
I look in the mirror and its hard to grasp I'm this person now.
It's almost I feel like an alien...it's hard to explain.

I mean I've got a whole new set of problems since having this surgery,like the stomach problems I'm still being investigated for..
Vitamin definency on/off and just feeling..."different".
But....I don't regret my surgery for one second,
My local gp had to remind me when I was in his room(as I was upset with my stomach problems)that I had done myself a massive favour having this Surgery done,and not be hard on myself.
And the dietician had to tell me be nice to myself, as this far out from surgery many other bypassers are "gaining" a lot of weight back by now,so I'm doing fantastic.

It was nice to hear this..and when I'm having a bad day feeling tired/moody (don't forget your vitamins and B12 injections peeps)
I look in my wardrobe at my tiny 10 tops and being able to go to the toilet with ease(you people will know what I mean...lol)
I know I've done the right thing!
Oh and being able to do silly dancing in the kitchen with the kids and not pass out..lol

I just felt last night I wanted to warn newbies we are on a "diet" forever to a degree.
But it's much easier to stay in control with the physical side with our new tools.
Good morning all xxx

 

[femfrankie]

Totally agree with all of the above and thanks Emma for raising this as I too have picked up on the "forever" in a lot of posts. I'm still early days at 3months post op but am fully aware that it only becomes forever with hard work and life long commitment.
The thought if gaining absolutely terrifies me witless!

 

[Butterfly_lady]

I am not one for saying "gone forever" but I'd prefer to hear folks being upbeat and positive, and who knows maybe that 1lb is gone forever, rather than posts saying, well I lost 1lb but it'll probably come back at some point.

I think whatever "diet/lifestyle" we choose we always hope and believe it is forever.

I do see your point too this is no walk in the park Many thanks for posting its lovely to hear from folks that are so far along.

 

[emma-louise]

Totally agree with all of the above and thanks Emma for raising this as I too have picked up on the "forever" in a lot of posts. I'm still early days at 3months post op but am fully aware that it only becomes forever with hard work and life long commitment.
The thought if gaining absolutely terrifies me witless!

Glad I'm not the only one who has noticed this,
Its a horrible feeling when you start to gain after going to the extremes we have.
I don't think anyone with some kind of addiction are completely cured..we have to fight our daily battles to stay on the straight and narrow.
All I'd say is be prepared when the rose tinted shade fades away....good luck to everyone,we need to support each other xx

 

[Lilacglittergirl]

My best friend had his bypass eight years ago. He had little or no support from his team TBH. He was a binge-eater and although he'd been sent to see every specialist under the sun in the six years on the waiting list, they never gave him any psychological support. He was also very angry when the plastics promised pre-op were withdrawn by the time he needed them post-op, all of which had not helped his situation. He has put back on four stone of the 17 he lost. He has sabotaged his WLS and is back to binge-eating. I supported him every step of the way on his journey and could see it all falling apart for him. He now regrets his actions and wishes he'd been more focussed. He was told by his GP all those years ago that with so many co-morbidities he had to have the op or die. No LSD before surgery to get in the zone. The GP now says he has blown it - he was given his chance, and there is nothing that can be done.

Based on his experience, I knew where the pitfalls in WLS might be before I signed on the dotted line. I also knew I didn't want a band as I needed a 'permanent' solution to a lifelong weight problem. I never ever intend to be 18.5 stone again. I have got a tool now which if I use it wisely should ensure I'm not going back there. I've thrown out my size 24s as they have no place in my life - putting them in store 'in case' is part of the old me.

Let's wait and see where I am (say) Christmas 2015. xx

 

[emma-louise]

My best friend had his bypass eight years ago. He had little or no support from his team TBH. He was a binge-eater and although he'd been sent to see every specialist under the sun in the six years on the waiting list, they never gave him any psychological support. He was also very angry when the plastics promised pre-op were withdrawn by the time he needed them post-op, all of which had not helped his situation. He has put back on four stone of the 17 he lost. He has sabotaged his WLS and is back to binge-eating. I supported him every step of the way on his journey and could see it all falling apart for him. He now regrets his actions and wishes he'd been more focussed. He was told by his GP all those years ago that with so many co-morbidities he had to have the op or die. No LSD before surgery to get in the zone. The GP now says he has blown it - he was given his chance, and there is nothing that can be done.

Based on his experience, I knew where the pitfalls in WLS might be before I signed on the dotted line. I also knew I didn't want a band as I needed a 'permanent' solution to a lifelong weight problem. I never ever intend to be 18.5 stone again. I have got a tool now which if I use it wisely should ensure I'm not going back there. I've thrown out my size 24s as they have no place in my life - putting them in store 'in case' is part of the old me.

Let's wait and see where I am (say) Christmas 2015. xx

You know I felt the same,I'm a fab dieter but keeping it off..no way!
That's why I knew I needed a permanent tool too.
I never intend to be a sz 24/26 again so I threw my big clothes out too.
Before surgery I kept all sizes "just incase"...not this time!

 

[chrisa]

This is a good relevant thread Emma most should lead, what annoys me most is people just outta their ops trying to eat normal food with out pureeing. No one loves the puree but its only as hard as you make it just like the pre op diet. Grit ya teeth n get on with it. Also if you look at your sheet the hospital gives you or google diet sheet it is plain n simple whats best. Can't beat fresh fruit n veg to cook with then you know exactly what is in the meal. Make big batch n freeze it how hard is that? I went back to work after 3 weeks had to be organised. I had 2 years to think bout things that's the difference between people sometimes the less time to wait they prefer but don't have sufficient time to mull it all over. xxxxx

 

[emma-louise]

This is a good relevant thread Emma most should lead, what annoys me most is people just outta their ops trying to eat normal food with out pureeing. No one loves the puree but its only as hard as you make it just like the pre op diet. Grit ya teeth n get on with it. Also if you look at your sheet the hospital gives you or google diet sheet it is plain n simple whats best. Can't beat fresh fruit n veg to cook with then you know exactly what is in the meal. Make big batch n freeze it how hard is that? I went back to work after 3 weeks had to be organised. I had 2 years to think bout things that's the difference between people sometimes the less time to wait they prefer but don't have sufficient time to mull it all over. xxxxx

Very true Chrisa x
Ii puréed all my food and did each stage at 4 weeks,to give your body time to heal properly.

 

[laidlaw70]

hi emma-louise. i,m so glad i,ve just read ur post. it,s good to know i,m not alone. I had my bypass 3 years ago with dr ammori too. I,ve put on just under 2 stone and am struggling on a daily basis with food. I have totally lost all self control and just dont know where to start to get back on track. No clothes fit me and i,m not buying a bigger size. I always knew i would have to watch what i ate for the rest of my life and never imagined that this much weight could go back on. I sometimes question myself " have i actually had a bypass "as pretty much eat normal portions.

I,m actually so scared as I have lost all self control and willpower and don,t feel like I can ever get it back

 

[emma-louise]

hi emma-louise. i,m so glad i,ve just read ur post. it,s good to know i,m not alone. I had my bypass 3 years ago with dr ammori too. I,ve put on just under 2 stone and am struggling on a daily basis with food. I have totally lost all self control and just dont know where to start to get back on track. No clothes fit me and i,m not buying a bigger size. I always knew i would have to watch what i ate for the rest of my life and never imagined that this much weight could go back on. I sometimes question myself " have i actually had a bypass "as pretty much eat normal portions.

I,m actually so scared as I have lost all self control and willpower and don,t feel like I can ever get it back

Hi,
Aww don't be hard on yourself you just need to get some control again.
I actually got a bit of a telling off with dr ammori when I gained,it did the job of making me loose it again.
Listen...now we have this tool "dieting" is a bit easier this time round.
Before surgery it's so much harder...
This is what I did,cut out carbs and eat plenty of protein.
If I was out and hungry,you'd see me walking round with a packet of ham!..lol
And peas/beans and nuts,fresh salad.
Start filling up a sports bottle of well diluted juice,sip all throughout the day.
If your water is up,it really helps with weightloss...(don't know why,but it does)
Start eating small again on a child plate,spread your meals out into small ones(as long as its healthy)
Protein foods get burned up straight again,its fuel for the body...
Good carbs for me was my chickpeas,(I ate loads and was worried I was addicted to them)
And I combined with my exercise machine so the weight came off quite easy.


Your not on your own,I've been able to get to my target either,I was just happy to be able to get into a size 12/14 jean.
Message me if you ever want to chat x

 

[chrisa]

Emma finding your energy and psots at the moment amazing. Well done you the last few times a good while a go you sounded down and really fed up you have come back fighting and gained control, I am just floating around at the moment and think it may be just what I need to hera at the moment thank you xx

 

[emma-louise]

Thanks Chrisa,

I'm trying my best at the minute,still have problems with bloating and pain,but getting on with it.
Still need to lose more weight,but ill get there one day x

 

[WeightlossDreamer]

i think im one of the 'gone forever' people, and its good to see the other side of the coin from a long term wls patient. I completely understand we may gain weight back, you cant tell whats going to happen years down the line, but for me at this stage in the process i have to think positively. If i dont think positive then what was the point in shelling out the money ive spent, going through all the psychological side of things, and electing to put myself through a general anaesthetic to go under the knife to get to this stage and think in that way.

I know for myself at this stage i have to keep up that positivity and believe this is going to change my battle with weight forever.

I'm not bashing anything your saying because i understand the very real side of wls and that is, is that it is not a miracle cure.

But to coincide with my weightloss surgery i have changed my lifestyle. I am not on a diet i have chosen to change the way i live and hope to live forever. I cant rule out future occurances i have no control over yet, but i can continue to be positive x