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Just had a gastric bypass and feeling vunerable!

Mummyof2

Mummyof2

New Member
Hiya everyone! Just thought I'd introduce myself in hope of finding peeps whom have had WLS too!.. I had my gastric bypass on the 11th July and to be honest I'm left feeling quite vunerable... which is really strange. I seem to be gettin panicky about becoming smaller has anyone else experienced this? :eek: It's like I was moulded to be fat since being a toddler, being a healthy size or normal was only ever a dream and the thought of this dream becoming a reality actually frightens me! It's like my entire personality has been built up around this fat stigma (fat people are either funny or moody) and I fear about "how to act" and yet I'm the most honest "say it as it is" person in the world!!

The other fear I have is actually being able to choose a style of clothing i've only ever known to wear clothes that make me look thinner! I almost feel like I'm losing my identity I never ever realised my weight had such a psychological and controlling impact on me!

Has anybody else felt this way or am I just really wierd and in need of the men in white coats to come and get me!

xx
 
While I do not share your fears, they do not surpirse me. You are facing hte loss of your security blanket, your 'overcoat of arms against the world' and if you have had it all your life, you probably don't know how to be you without it. I am sure some of the guru's will be along shortly with words of wisdom, but my advise would be to get a bit of counselling, for it is one thing to lose the weight physically but another entirely to lose it emotionally.

Sorry I can't be of more help (it's the side of the brain that I work from!!!;-)
 
First of all Welcome!!

:welcome:

Next - well done on your weight loss!!

:happy096:

I haven't really felt like you I must admit, I'm excited about feeling smaller. I also feel pleased with the benefits - more mobility etc.
Someone else may be more support, but you could also have a word with your GP and he/she might recommend some support for you.
A suggestion on the fashion thing, most
shops do a 'personal shopper' thing which doesn't cost anything, but you have to book. I did it at M & S. It was great fun, and the lady was lovely. She knew the stock, she could tell what colour suited me, and it gave me the confidence to wear stuff I probably wouldn't even have bought! If you can go with a friend - moral support, but also more fun. Make a day of it! x x
 
Hi and welcome to Minis :welcome:

you're in the right place and will get loads of help and support on here :) sit tight and the experienced bypassers will be along soon to answer your questions.
 
Hi hun and welcome to minis! I can totally relate to what you are saying. I did not realize how much I based my personality on being a large child/teenager/woman. I didn't ever REALLY see myself as I was and I trivialized my outward appearance. I have now 'woken up' to what I really look like and it is a weird feeling. I have had to learn how to dress all over again for the new me. Something as simple as knowing as you pull something on if it will fit has changed. Used to be with my old proportions if I had trouble pulling a dress over my hips I knew it wouldn't fit me but now I have to pull things on over my bust first to check fit. It is all weird and wonderful, just try to embrace the changes as they come. You had this surgery for your own special set of reasons but the result is the same for most of us. You will see lots of changes and a healthier, slimmer you will emerge. Enjoy the ride and know in your heart that you will find a new you to love buried under all the trappings of the obese. Don't worry too much about feeling vulnerable, we all go through that to some degree and it fades as you come to love the new you!

Best of wishes with your journey, hoping you have many happy discoveries along the way.

:DNic:D
 
I wanted to say welcome. Although I cannot yet relate, I can see where this would be a huge issue. Please know that everyone here will help support you.
 
I get where you are coming from!I am worried my family wont love me the same when I am slimmer,I am big into cooking/feeding for my family,probably killing them with kindness.Everyone looks to you to be the cuddly nurturer/mother earth type.Which is my doing by being this person Ive lost sight of me the independant woman.With wants and needs of my own.They (esp.hubby)always feel threatened,like if mum changes everything changes.I lost 3 stone last year,felt great but was scared at the phyisical changes!!!Didnt recognise me in the mirror,was worried about changing how I dress!Thought wearing elastic waist pants and a big shirt over was the only way to dress.The mind is a lot slower to catch up with the changes to your body,after all if you have been big all your life its like an amputation,part of you is gone!!You are not crazy its a well documented side affect of weightloss.Best of luck anyway.
 
Welcome to minis mummy of two. I havent had my op yet but I can understand how you are feeling it must be scary. I too cannot imagine myself much much slimmer. I was always about 11/12st till last 6 years but was always 'fat' and being short doesnt help
I have always tried to stay on the back burner so to speak although my work always took me to the foreground which was not always comfortable.
I used to love clothes and shoes and always had stuff matching, now I dress to hide, dark and baggy most of the time, which isnt good but thats the way it is.
You are doing really well with your weight loss, and it must be strange for you looking in the mirror and seeing this change in yourself.
As Nic says embrace it, it is afterall why you had the op for health and fitness, which means weightloss too. You will become more confident, and I am sure you will grow with your new image.
Ladybirds idea of a personal shopper sounds good, but I think you will come to know what you like and what suits you.
If you really need someone to talk with try your GP who may refer you to a counsellor.
You will get lots of support on hear there are hundreds who have had their surgery and gone through all sorts of physical and psychological problems, so you are in the right place for some of the help you want.
I wish you every good luck with your journey which is an awesome one, and hope your fears subside as the days go by

Big hugs Jay xx
 
i don't have much to say except i hope you start feeling better, more confident and more secure in your decision and your new life. its a big change, its something you need to get used to over time.
 
First of all I want to welcome you to minis, You will love it here and get lots of help and support, Secondly, Congratulations for having a life changing opperation. And Thirdly Good luck on your weightloss journey, It will be a rollercoaster of a ride But enjoy it!!!

I never felt like you feel, Only I felt all excited about losing weight once and for all, But I do know what you mean about feeling vunerable, Its a weird situation and like someone said above about the security blanket, In a few months time your gonna feel & Look fantastic, You will be so much healthier and all these feelings will fade away.
We are all here for you to help & support you along the way, So GOOD LUCK!!
 
Hi Mummy of 2
i'M HAVING MY BYPASS A WEEK ON FRIDAY. LIKE YOU I CAN'T REMEMBER BEING ANY OTHER WAY EXECPT OBESE. THE ENORMITY/REALITY OF MY DECISION IS STARTING TO HIT BUT NO REGRETS AND I'M LOOK FORWARD TO SHOPPING IN ANY HIGH STREET SHOP. YOU HAVE COME TO THE RIGHT PLACE FOR SUPPORT THERE IS ALWAYS GOOD ADVICE TO BE FOUND HERE.hOPE YOU ARE FEELING BETTER SOON XX
 
Thank you so much for your responses I can remove the bolt from the door i'm not going to be taken away after all lol! Just to clarify I have no regrets about the op but yes my safety blanket or "tent" is being taken away but I'm sure these feelings will disapear in time!

Congratulations to all of you on here you look fab!

Clare x
 
First off "BIG" welcome to the group and hope you pick up some good pointers to help you...
I had my by-pass on the 10th of July and when everything sinks in this op is a big live changing thing...That said I am taking each few days as they come rather than thinking 3months,9 months down the road as I do agree it is hard leaving the "overweight-comfort-zone" even though overeating with food has caused all this....you feel better the devil you know and trust in food...We all know this is not the best way and to me it's like being told the earth is flat and "dont" walk there as you will topple of.....Not so keep in walking and enjoy a new freedom being slimmer and feeling good inside...."Good luck"
Mark
 
I just wanted to say "Hi and Welcome". I can't send you a P.M because you've not got enough posts yet. I was interested to read your thread for a number of reasons but primarily because you live in Winchester (I also live there) and I'm yet to find many other local people perhaps to meet up and have a chat etc. I'm a bander but will be moving to the other side shortly and will be having a bypass - long story - I'll post a thread sometime to explain! Where did you have your op done and by whom?

x
 
Hiya Nicola yes I need to start posting like a maniac lol is it 50 posts i need? I had mine done at Sarum Road by Dr byrne who was an extremely good surgeon tbh who are you having your op by?

Clare x
 
hi and welcome to minis, I dont have any advice as not at op yet but there are plenty on here that can offer advice on all sorts of things, as you have noticed they are a helpful bunch :D

As for the post count , the word association thread is your friend ! will get your post counts up in no time lol. Ive never done it cos my word association is usually wierd and ppl will wonder what the hell Im on.

good luck in your weight loss journey :)
 
Hiya nicola yeh would love to meet up sometime only it would be very difficult as have a 23 month old and 14 week old baby so gettin out the house half the time is a mission lol but I'm sure i'll be able to sometime in the near future. Whens your bypass date?

Clare x
 
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