Just had the call...

[Shadylawns]

Just had the call from SRH to say they can operate on 17th May, they will send me all the relevant paperwork!!

My emotions have just gone into a free falling spiral! I don't know whether to be excited or bricking it! I've put weight back on since my initial consultations, and now I'm worried that they'll open me up, take a look and close me up without doing anything!

I'm now having a knee jerk reaction of trying to lose as much weight as possible in the time I have left. I feel soooo useless, but get so disheartened with all the waiting....and just eat. I don't have eating triggers, I just do it, which makes me feel worse. We've all been there.

I'm worried that they're going to refuse me for some reason. But if I could do this without surgical help then I wouldn't be here!

I'm sick of being so blahdy self pitying, why couldn't I just man up and lose weight like normal people? why couldn't I just be normal?!

My head's pounding, and I'm hot, cold, hot, cold, I only got the call a couple of hours ago!!

Why am I crying? Is it the realisation that it's real now? I'm not scared of the nitty gritty hospitalisation itself, going under, etc. am I crying in shame at my self indulgence? Or out of self pity that I won't be able to stuff my face anymore? I'm a bright girl, why have I done this to myself? Please tell me it's normal to feel like this!

Love from Mrs Lawns, confused and sad.

:cry::cry:

 

[natashoorrr]

I think it would be normal? If anybody was to say okay we'll do something so that you can never eat like you do now - and after all this waiting we're going to do something.

When you've had chance for this to all settle in, you can start getting excited Maybe go and look at yourself in the mirror and just try and picture how different you're going to look in a few months time!

 

[JoJoTGirl]

It's normal!! In the last few weeks before my op I cried and cried and cried at my "failure" to get control and at the ridiculousness of having to resort to surgery for a chance at a healthier 2nd half of my life. I don't think even then that I really believed that I could succeed.....it was kind of my last shot!

It's no bad thing really though, will help you get to grips with your new tool and maje the absolute most of it!

Loosing a bit before yoru op can't hurt at all can it? In fact, giving yourself the best outcome from hereon is a great idea and it's easier knowing that you won't have to be so hungry and battle so hard after the op.

I wish you the very best of luck and urge you to try not to beat yourself up too much. Put all your energy into getting ready for a whole new life!

I'm only 5 stone down so far (although am only 12 weeks out) but already I feel great and I finally believe that I can, and more importantly WILL be slim and healthy for the first time in my whole life..............how bloomin liberating is that!?!? That'll be you soon.

xxxx

 

[Shadylawns]

Thanks for the replies!! Sorry I accidentally posted this thread twice, derrr!

My hubby works away, and although he's here at the mo', he does nine weeks away and three weeks here. My op is two and a half weeks into his next nine weeks stint. I wonder how much lighter I'll be, the NEXT time he comes home!!

I want to be excited about that, but I've failed that many times before, that I daren't let myself look foward to it!! How stupid is that?!

Xx