k8y bears worried Daughter

[k8y bear]

Hello. I'm K8y bears daughter. My Mum posts on here and she has said she has met a few really nice people at a meeting she went to with my step Dad.
The thing is although she is really happy with what is going to happen to her i am really scared.
It looks very painfull and i'm worried, i love my Mum no matter what she looks like, but i know she is quite ill with complications although she won't show that to other people, so i know its for the best. I'm scared i'm going to loose her, It seems so drastic. Is there anyone here that has been to the Manor Hospital? Will i be able to see my Mum when she gets back from the operating theater?
Will she be in lots of pain? How do i look after her?
I know my step dad wants to ask what to do as well, we are so scared, but Mum just bounces around and tells us to "chill and relax"
Will she ever eat again? What if her Blood preasure is so high it affects the operation? What do we do when she gets home? Can she get up? Sorry about all the questions, but i have asked Mum and she just says play it by ear because she doesn't know.
Please help?

 

[cazbandy]

Hi there,

Your worries and concerns show you love your mum very, very much and I hope that someone who has had the operation your mum is going to have will be along soon to try and help you feel less frightened about it.

One suggestion, could you ask your mum if you could go with her to any appointments, so you can listen in and get a better picture?

Try not to worry, there are many people who have had amazing sucess and your mum is only looking at this option because she wants better health and to be around a lot longer

 

[JOWOOD4]

You bought a lump to my throat when reading your message as it shows you love your mom. Try not to worry because you can see on here how well people do when they have had the operation. I have had the gastric band so i cant answer all of your questions but someone will post soon and help you out. just try to understand why your mom is doing this - it also means she loves you very much too. I bet she has been thinking about it for a very long time and she will be so grateful for your help and support. Look after each other.
Jo XX

 

[thinnerangela]

It is a worry for all the family.

I had a Duodenal Switch - but my family came to see me in the critical care unit the night of the op - where everyone following WLS went.

With hindsight it was a bit much for my 14 yr old daughter BUT her dad was ill as well so she was facing losing either parent.

I did look rough that night but was back in my room the next morning.

What she will be able to eat will depend on her bariatric team cos they are all different.

She will probably have small meals often - it may take her time to eat a meal - and dont put too much food on her plate - cos its being over faced with food that stops me eating it at all.

Shes considering this because she loves you all - and doesn't want to be like she is now.

Its not easy - but the benefits far outweigh the cons - I've lost over 13 st. and I know I'm a happier person - still beset with other health issues but happier in my body - wrinkly and saggy - but happier. She'll be worried about it all too - but not want you to know shes worried - believe me I'm a mum!! lol

Be positive for your mum - cos its a hard decision to put ones family through this op

With love and hugs to you all

Angela xx

 

[maxsmum]

What a lovely daughter you are. I have had the same operation seven weeks ago and I can only tell you how I have been. You will be able to see your mum after the operation when she goes back to the ward, but because she will have had an op, she will be very tired and sleepy and might not make much sense until she sleeps it off. Your mum will get the pain relief she needs and will have pain for a few days as she will have alot of air blown into her stomach which hurts (until you can burp or trump it out!). She will come home within a couple of days and will be the same mum she was before the op, but she will only have fluid for a few weeks so her stomach can heal. At this time she will want water and maybe some peppermint tea ( which helps with the burps and trumps!). Everybody is different but your mum is doing this to be around longer with you and your step-dad. My children thought it was drastic too but they have seen how much healthier and happier I am and how much more I can do with them.

Yes she will eat again quicker than you think, just not the amount she did before the op as she will feel full after a small amount. As for her blood pressure, if it is too high the surgen would not have recommended the op and it will actually help to bring it right down as weight is a facter in high blood pressure. You mum needs to keep walking around slowly in the early days and she will want to to help with the wind, and as for what you do when she gets home make sure you have sugar free jelly and a sense of humour for the wind passing !!


Any thing else just ask, but remember your mum will have really thought about this and she is doing what she feels is best for you all.

Take care

Sally Xx

 

[tesmaralda]

Hello. I'm K8y bears daughter. My Mum posts on here and she has said she has met a few really nice people at a meeting she went to with my step Dad.
The thing is although she is really happy with what is going to happen to her i am really scared.
It looks very painfull and i'm worried, i love my Mum no matter what she looks like, but i know she is quite ill with complications although she won't show that to other people, so i know its for the best. I'm scared i'm going to loose her, It seems so drastic. Is there anyone here that has been to the Manor Hospital?

I had my op at the Manor, and she is in good hands.

Will i be able to see my Mum when she gets back from the operating theater?

You should be able to go and see your mom if she feels up to visitors, I have 2 children and didn't want them to come and see me as I was in and out of sleep due the anaesthetic, so it may be best to wait until she is awake and up to seeing you.

Will she be in lots of pain? How do i look after her?

Everyone is different with the pain, she may be in lots of pain or she could have no pain at all. If she is in pain she will need help to make sure she drinks plenty and rests up so that will mean people keeping on top of the housework, washing up and doing anything that will drive her crazy if its not done.

I know my step dad wants to ask what to do as well, we are so scared, but Mum just bounces around and tells us to "chill and relax"


If you can be chilled and relaxed so will your mom. It is hard as a mom to make people see why we need this op, as much as everyone is ok with us as we are there are things as a mom we should be doing that being this overweight prevents (due to other conditions). It is not about losing weight and being skinny its about gaining back our quality of life and being able to do all the things we want and need to do without being in constant pain.

Will she ever eat again?

Yes she will eat again. How quickly she ges back to normal will vary, some have a vary easy time of it and others do struggle with each stage. This is probably when your mom will need lots of emotional support and encouragement. I found that although I knew what to expect it was so different to go through and experience it. But I am 16 months post op and have over the last 2 weeks been out for 2 meals and had a take away from the chip shop. I had a piece of mini fish with no batter, salad and chinese curry sauce. I do struggle with chips, pasta and bread still but these are all bad foods so I don't mind.

What if her Blood preasure is so high it affects the operation?

If the hospital have any concerns about her blood pressure they won't do the op. It will be monitored beforehand if she has a history of high blood pressure.

What do we do when she gets home? Can she get up? Sorry about all the questions, but i have asked Mum and she just says play it by ear because she doesn't know.
Please help?

Those who have been where your mom is have also to draw a fine line between telling you the truth and telling you what we think you are capable of dealng with. If you or your step dad have questions why not get your dad to join and post in our family and friends section he may be able to talk to other family members and see how they cope or get your mom to post on here someone is bound to be able to answer her.

I know its hard but try not to worry to much, enjoy this time with your mom and maybe discuss what you are going to do together as she loses weight and her health starts to return to normal.

Hope this has helped answer som of your questions.

 

[Sambucca]

Hi K8y bears daughter!

I have moved your thread to the friends and family section, as this is the kind of thread that may help other family members with questions they may have about their loved ones.

I too had my operation at Walsall Manor and cant fault the care I was given. Im 11 months post op now and my life is wonderful. Pre op I was a similar size to your mum, who I had the pleasure of meeting at the support group. Today I am a size 12. I have had no complications, but I know of others that have had complications so its impossible to say whether your mum is likely to develop complications of her own.

All I can say is be prepared for a very difficult few weeks immediately after the op. Mums emotions will be all over the place as she comes to terms with the massive operation, the loss of her comfort blanket (ie food) and may also be feeling unwell/sick. If you are able to help out with housework etc during this time it will take some of the pressure off her.

She will soon start to feel better and by about 8 weeks post op should be returning to some sort of normal diet but much smaller portions than ever before.

She's in good hands at the manor on the ward and in surgery. The admin leaves a lot to be desired, but shes not putting her life in the admin staffs hands so it doesnt really matter!

Good luck

 

[k8y bear]

Thank you all very much, Mum had said how nice people are on here and i'd have to agree.
It's nice to know as well that there are some people that have been to the Manor, but thankyou everyone that has sent me a reply, I dont know anyone that has had this done so didn't know who to ask. I went to a hospital appointment with her and saw a nurse who will be looking after her on the ward, i think it was an operation appointment where she had her blood done. It all seems very scary. Again thank you all for your replies, i feel a bit better for reading them.

 

[ditzeeblonde]

Can't help with yr questions but just wanted to send you some ((( hugs ))). xx

 

[Sambucca]

why dont you come to the next meet with your mum then you will get to meet lots of people who've been operated on at Walsall x

 

[phatmomma]

Hello K8ybears daughter...

I met your lovely mom at the meeting, i had my operation 7 weeks ago at The Manor.

Me and your mom were talking about meeting for a coffee, maybe we could arrange it so you can come too? I could bring my daughters who are 11 and 13 and you could ask me and them some questions if you want to?

My daughters went and stayed with their dad when i went into hospital so they didn't see me till about 5 days after. To be honest on the day of the operation your mom will be really tired after her operation and the anaesthetic, so if you did visit then she'd probably spend most of the visiting time snoring

Your mom will eat 'normal' food again, she will just eat a lot less, 'watch out she'll just pinch some of your's and your stepdads dinner when you go out because she won't be able to eat a full dinner'....

I'll send your mom a message and chat about our coffee date, alternatively why not come to the next meeting? x

 

[cherry]

hi i to am pre op so i cant answer your questions but i wanted to send loads of luck, and that your a lovely loving caring daughter! your mum is lucky xx

 

[lamornamiss]

K8ys daughter one thing to look forward to is 2 lots of clothes yours and your mom's. you may well be borrowing each others clothes LOL

 

[k8y bear]

:thankyou: THANK YOU EVERYONE XXX
You guys are amazing!! Emma is made up with all the replies, as am i, Many many thanks to you all for that, She is a darlin, the questions that she asks i'm afraid i didn't know the answers to, so i had suggested that she asked on here, she's a lot clearer now, still a little anxious but i spose thats normal.
Notsophatmomma, Thanks for that , I am going to try to come to the next meeting, when is it again the 19th? I should be ok for half an hour, i have my op on the 15th so i think that will be long enough,But at least if she has questions, she will be able to see how supportive people are of one another and feel comfortable asking them. Thanks again. xxx

 

[poo bear]

Hi i just wanted to say your mum is so lucky to have such a lovely daughter..

 

[k8y bear]

Thankyou xx

 

[phatmomma]

Lol @notsophatmomma, bless you!

If you're not fit for the meeting you could make a list of your questions and ask Emma to come with her stepdad and see what's what and ask your questions for you

I'll look forward to catching up for coffee on Wednesday xx

 

[k8y bear]

Its true though, Infact you had better wave manically at me or i might not recognise you!! xx

 

[phatmomma]

Lol i wish xx But i do wave manically at everyone, just cos i am a little 'touched' pmsl xx

 

[k8y bear]

Lol i wish xx But i do wave manically at everyone, just cos i am a little 'touched' pmsl xx

Ha ha ha ha, I too am a little bit loco :silly:. xx