little moan but could do with shoulders

[honey-dd]

ok im getting stressed for the first time since i had the band fitted, its been in 6 months now and apart from a stone and a half post op iv gained that back and now since my miscarriage iv binged non stop and drank too much !!

I have my fill booked next tue and joining sw just so i can keep an eye on me if you understand. I have my dietician apt for middle of next month but i genuinely feel really upset and cant tell if its the miscarriage or my inability to lose weight even with this band fitted.

Im usually so up beat about it and like iv said before it takes time but iv just got upset and wonder if it ever will work as i never expected to gain maybe stay the same, but thought with what fills i have had id see my portions reduce but i genuinely can eat loads only get problems manly excruciating pain that passes after a little while with chicken and once a cheese and onion cob.

Im so desperate now to feel good and positive again and lose weight and maybe get preg again and keep it this time.but feel like im one of the ones it wont work for. Like iv said normally i am the one saying give it time but i feel ugly fat and useless and just want to feel good again and cant shake the feeling of failure im getting right now

 

[shelbell]

First things first...deep breath and relax.

I'm not a band expert but I do know that you can't expect to lose weight until you get the fill right, and it doesn't sound like you have yet, so go easy on yourself. You've had a traumatic few months, and it sounds like you would benefit from some help with dealing with the emotions from the miscarriage. Have you considered contacting the Miscarriage Association or looking for counselling? Emotional eating is understandable and takes help to stop.

You CAN make this work, but it's going to take time and it's not going to happen overnight. huge huge hugs :hug99:

 

[serenitylove]

firstly big hugs for you xxxx i think you are probably still greiving hun it took me nearly two yrs to fully get over my miscarrage you like most of us probably turn to food for comfort and at a time like this it is highly stressfull and emotional old habbits are hard to break . have your next fill and try and see that as a fresh start day, i have a fill next monday and for the past week iv eaten way to much iv not gained but for first time since band iv not lost so im going to be doing same trouble is eating the wrong thing leads to guilt and loosing a baby although nobodys fault also makes people feel guilty all that guilt and hurt floating around has to be worked thru, i think your being way to hard on yourself and need lots of tlc at the moment, chat to your dr and if you need to get some councelling and give yourself time the band is in place you know it works but you have just had some exceptional things to deal with you will get back on track xxxxx

 

[teen]

I can not say that I understand what you are going through but big HUGS from me aswell

 

[quetiapina]

Hi Honey, Shelbell is right about taking a deep breath.

Now imagine a friend was talking to you about your problems with the band, and then about your miscarriage, and then that you feel bad about yourself, and then that the band may not work for you despite a fill soon, and finally that you are hoping for another baby.....

That is a lot of stuff. A lot. How would you advise this friend - I bet you'd be saying to be easier on yourself, you have suffered a personal loss, that is the most imporant thing to come to terms with - and there is no straight and narrow path for that grieving. Try and be kind to you. Is it surprising that a person falls into old ( and comforting) eating patterns during the time of great loss. No. It maybe not the most positive prop ever but eating and drinking for you is a coping strategy ( eating is for most of the people here I would imagine).

It seems you have so many mixed up emotions that none of them can get through the door so you can start concentrating on anyone of them ( and this can itself be a function to try and stop grief).

I'm so sorry that you are feeling so sh*t, I know little about the band as I am pre-op, but i do know that if there were anyone who needs to ease up on themselves and be kind to themselves at the moment, it is you.

As Shel says, there are support groups for women who suffer miscarriage, that, or counselling or both may help you start on the road to recovery.

Best wishes to you.

 

[tendersage]

I cannot add to the already good advise you have recieved here, but i do wish you well during this obviously difficult time

 

[cherylxx]

hi honey,
(((((hugs))))) to u.
u have been through so much hun.
dont be so hard on yourself.
i agree with shel. perhaps a little counselling would help you.
any stressful time in life can lead to us seeking comfort and many of us turn to food for this comfort and the stress ur body and mind has gone through recently is bound to have a huge effect on you hun.dont ever be afraid to say ' i need help in coping' there are times we all do.
all the very best to you.

 

[thinkbethin]

Hi Honey, just wanted to send you some big HUGS and hope you can soon start to feel better and get back on track. You have had a terrible couple of months and once you start coming to terms with some of these upsets you will start afresh and other things will fall into place. Good luck sweetheart and hopefully your next fill will be right for you xxGaynorxx

 

[honey-dd]

Thank you everyone :hug99:

I was touched by your kind words i wanted to reply last night but just could not stop crying

 

[tesmaralda]

Honey, you have been through such an emotional and stressful time since christmas, its understandable to feel like you do. You will feel emotional and stressed after any type of surgery, let alone having a new business in the current climate that in itself is enough to send most people into a tis let alone a miscarriage. You do need to talk to someone professionl and qualified about that but we are all here to lend you our shoulders when you need them, don't be to hard on yourself, til you find the right restriction for you nd your band it will be hard but the next fill should help toward this. You have some great things lined up over the next couple of months, use this to help you relax and de-stress and hopefully the rest will follow. Wishing you all the best chick.

 

[Lesleydb]

Hi Honey, cant really add much to what has already been said but do hope you get better restriction from your next fill and that you are soon feeling better. You are not a failure you are a lovely person trying hard with all the s**t that life is throwing at you at this rough time.
Try and keep your chin up hun and look to a brighter future.
Take care sending you loads of hugs n kisses xxxx