Long time no see

[Lilacglittergirl]

I just want to share how great it feels when you meet someone you know for the first time after WLS, and their surprise is obvious from the look in their eyes while they process the words.

I'm four stone down in as many months ... In real terms size 24 to 16/18.

Loser, and proud!

 

[Butterfly_lady]

I can't wait, it must be fun to see them do a double take.

 

[Lilacglittergirl]

Haha! Obviously, they tend not to say " Gosh! You've lost weight!", as that would imply you were too big before. So it tends to be along the lines of how well you look, which of course is the purpose of the exercise. ;-)

 

[los in it]

well done you! im looking forward to the gasps(!) from those who don't know im doing this I cant wait !!!

 

[slaz]

I have a slim cousin who says " you look well, have you lost some weight?". Now I say to her " you look well, have you put on a bit of weight?" Seems to work.

 

[mimi42]

I went to the summer fair at the local school where I used to work and all I got was two people say your looking well.the only one who said wow you've lost weight was a guy.iv lost 5 stone!.

 

[Lilacglittergirl]

Well, I'm over six stone down now, and six months post op. At their inviting, I had arranged to meet two good longterm friends for lunch for the first time in a few years. They are both quite big girls and not happy in their skin. They are in unhappy marriages which they admit to 'suffering' for the sake of their children (all at secondary school). They knew I'd had an op and lost weight as a consequence, but had not seen me since. I arrived promptly at the specified time to find they'd arranged to get there much earlier and had finished their meal.

Call me old fashioned ... Isn't that just plain odd/rude?! If I'd texted to say I was running terribly late, I could have understood they'd order and get on with eating but ... I was visibly shocked (and hurt!) when I arrived and had to awkwardly eat a jacket potato while they looked on.

After sometime they both admitted how envious they are ...

Not a good experience. And one I'll not repeat. Obvious now that free spirit me, with no ties, lots of drive and confidence (even at nearly 19 stone) has nearly nothing in common with them now I'm a size 14.

 

[angiemason]

Well done on your fantastic loss its a shame the friends felt they had to eat before you got there maybe they were ashamed of what they were eating ( I know when I was big I ate stuff but was still ashamed ) but yes it was rude surely they could've had a meal off fat food to at least eat with you . At least they were honest to say they were jealous and you're right you have nothing in common any longer and sometimes we have to make that break rather than let ourselves get drawn downwards . Well done and take care x

 

[Lilacglittergirl]

Thanks Angie. Exactly! Nowt so queer as folk! xx

PS: you look amazing!

 

[angiemason]

Thankyou and oh yes some real queer folk out there lol

 

[nicola1723]

My friends are all crap and have continued to be through my weight loss. I need some new ones

 

[femfrankie]

Awwww lilac ((((hugs)))). If the plan or usual thing is to eat and meet then that was just plain rude of them and I too would have felt hurt and snubbed no matter their excuse. Thankfully the friends I really care most for are all skinny and have been nothing but supportive. I suppose this is one of those life changing things that isn't quite as pleasant.

 

[Yvessa]

One thing I would say is give it time. My friendships changed a lot in the first year or so but most of them actually settled down. Some did get the old heave ho, but I do think I've got a massive chip on my shoulder and always look for fault in someone. So sometimes I have to take a step back and ask myself if they really meant it like that. I've gotten to the point now where I will ask quite bluntly.

 

[Lilacglittergirl]

Awwww lilac ((((hugs)))). If the plan or usual thing is to eat and meet then that was just plain rude of them and I too would have felt hurt and snubbed no matter their excuse. Thankfully the friends I really care most for are all skinny and have been nothing but supportive. I suppose this is one of those life changing things that isn't quite as pleasant.

Thanks Frankie. I was so shocked ... I asked if I'd got the time wrong. They just said they'd decided to meet ahead of me joining them. I felt like I was a side-show exhibit that they wanted to view after their meal, rather than a friend they wanted to catch-up with. It was all pretty rubbish TBH.

 

[Lilacglittergirl]

One thing I would say is give it time. My friendships changed a lot in the first year or so but most of them actually settled down. Some did get the old heave ho, but I do think I've got a massive chip on my shoulder and always look for fault in someone. So sometimes I have to take a step back and ask myself if they really meant it like that. I've gotten to the point now where I will ask quite bluntly.

Thanks Yve. I think you are right. For them, they are out of their comfort zone with me. And have lost a fellow big-girl friend and so was that why they liked me? Incidentally, I bumped into one of them again at the pool this week (when we met she said she wanted to go swimming but couldn't face putting a costume on - she works in a school and was at the pool for her class lesson). She said she'd watch me walk into the water "and feel deeply envious". I did the same classes at 19stone (size 24) time last year as I do now at 12 stone 7lbs (size 14). We are all different of course.

 

[Beegee]

Isnt funny.. I think we have all seen a bit of this in one form or another. At least we have the support from each other on here. xx

 

[emma-louise]

I think that's just awful what they did to you,and jealousy is a lot to do with it.
I think when we have overweight friends,a lot of the time they are envious of us having the bravery to do something about our weight problems,it takes a lot of courage to do what we have done.
Well done on your achievement x

 

[Neisie]

The friends thing is a bit weird. I've experienced some adverse reactions to my weight loss. My good, good friends at home in the States are all thin and encourage my weight loss with every step - they are amazing cheerleaders, as is my hubby! I wasn't ever really heavy until I moved to the Middle East - and then I noticed that a lot of my friends here were heavy, too. I think I was surrounding myself with heavy people... Since embarking on my weight loss journey I've kinda been "dumped" by two of my friends here. We were the three amigos - the three *fat* amigos - and since I'm losing we don't see each other much anymore, but I'm not really bothered by it. I think it's partially because they have seen me make changes and are a bit jealous because they are only getting bigger. I also think it's partially me bc I don't want to just go out and eat and drink anymore. I'm actually a bit turned off by them now, is that awful? On Friday they went to breakfast/boozefest and then continued drinking all day and into the night. I worked out with my trainer, took a long walk with my dogs, and did laundry. I feel a better person for not continually poisoning myself with food and booze anymore, but some of my relationships revolved around that and now I realize that maybe our friendship was just out of convenience, and not really a friendship. The people who want to go for walks with me, or to yoga, or get lunch and water instead of a bottle of wine - those are my friends now. Those are the people that I'm choosing to surround myself with, people who are healthy and have healthy habits. People who are positive and encouraging. This whole process is eye-opening but I wouldn't give it up for the world!