Lose weight and personality? Hmmm

[phatmomma]

My boss has been very supportive of me since i told her i'm having wls. Which is pretty darn amazing seeing as it was only about 4 weeks after starting in my job i told her. Anyway the last few weeks have been hard for her so i've done my best to lift her spirits and make her smile and even raised a belly laugh....

I don't remember what started it but we was chatting in the corridor (as we do regularly) today and she put her hand on my arm and asked '' are you sure you want to do such a drastic thing?'' ''You'll change, you wont be the same''...

Why do people think that if we change shape that our personality will change too?

I pride myself in being friendly and approachable. I like to think that people will always find me approachable and a fun person to be around.. Why would me being thinner change me?

confused.com xx

 

[Meggie]

I'm definitely not as fun at the moment but that is due to be exhausted all the time!!! Hopefully that will change when my energy comes back!!!

 

[Nightwitch]

i think people worry that you will change when you lose the weight....that you will become a different person because you may start getting attention being slimmer and your attitude will change towards others.

I can understand a little...the way we are shapes the way we are treated and the way we treat others.
To many friends over the years i have been "big Michelle" this hasn't been meant in a offensive way but was just how i was seen, and they have said if i wasnt this i wouldn't be me!

I do worry if I will change without realising as I lose the weight, but i hope my closest friends will be around to give me a kick if i do lol


I did have a friend once who lost a load of weight and did start being different to people once she started to get attention....though having seen this happen i am determined to not let it happen to me

 

[Katastrophe]

I firmly believe who you are comes from the inside.

Our weight doesnt define us and certainly doesn't decide our personality. It doesn't change the person you are.

I think what it does do (sometimes ) is force us to behave in ways that aren't necessarily true to who were are. For instance i have less confidence and am more awkward than the slimmer me when i'm in situations where i'm unsure of the reaction i'll get. From what i've read Julie you don't have that issue

If you truly want to lose the weight then i'm sure you'll be exactly the same as now but healthier

 

[topsy]

I haven't changed my personality as i've lost the weight - i'm just as nuts as i was before and i have no intention of changing i like being me xx

 

[phatmomma]

I haven't changed my personality as i've lost the weight - i'm just as nuts as i was before and i have no intention of changing i like being me xx

Topsy i didn't know you before you lost weight, but i have it on first class assurance that you are FABULOUS & GORGEOUS (you told me this on both occasions i had the pleasure of meeting you)....
You must have got a sprinkling of fairy dust on yourself whilst dusting everyone else x

 

[Glenville]

I'm only 4 months post-op but I think my personality has changed. I'm much more confident than I was before starting this journey. Sometimes a bit too confident.... I've surprised some people I think in that I'm not the old person that could be taken advantage of. I've also fallen out with 1 or 2 people because of it. But hey, if they don't like the new me then tough.

Julie, I've not met you yet, I'm looking forward to it though. I'm sure you're strong personality is going to be with you for good. I can't see your op changing you one bit. Lets hope so anyway. xx

 

[wannabeslimagain]

Julie knowing you asI do hun I doubt very much getting thinner will ever change you in fact the only thing you may change for is you will be even more crazy ha ha. I have lost a fair amount so far and I am the same old me just a more happier version thats all, the only way I have changed is no more miserable face when people talk to me and I am a more healthy minded cook so it is all good things I have not gone above myself and never will and you have me around now to kick ya butt if you try and change to a snooty lady, we don't allow that in Wolverhampton ha ha ha

 

[bungle1999]

i've changed in terms of having more confidence but otherwise -no. I am still collette. I am still approachable (if anything, more approachable 'cos there is less of me and you can get nearer!). I still enjoy having fun and have more now 'cos I have more confidence so am willing to go out more.
Yep I get tired quicker but I pass that off as because i am fitter i can do more and my body is more active!!!!
I am sure your colleague will love seeing your personality blosom even further as you lose weight. xxxx

 

[dreamofbeingslim]

When I lost 3 stone in 2008 my boss told me I seemed alot more confident because of it. Which I saw and am sure she did too as a good thing as I have always been quite shy. The other way I think I will change is that I will feel happier in myself so that will show on the outside too. But hopefully I will still have the same compassion for other people that I have always had and they will still find that they can talk to me.

 

[phatmomma]

Thanks for the lovely replies, my confidence has increased with my size over the years, especially when i discovered the bbw world and accepted my size.. (didn't like it, just accepted it). I think as someone said in a previous post the fat is/was my armour.

What amazes me is the fact i remember the comments that brought this thread on... My boss always drinks coke zero and offered me one a couple of weeks ago, i refused as i only drink diet coke (i know there both sugar free i just dont like the taste of zero). Yesterday she said to me she'd brought diet coke so i could have one, i said cool but i try not to have it much as i can't have fizzy after my op because it wont be good for my pouch.

This simple comment brought these worries on. The fact i won't be eating properly for ages never worried her strange lol xx

Lisa, you are i hope someone who is gonna be special to me for the rest of my life. You can kick my butt anytime xxx

 

[Neen]

Worst case scenario I always think of others saying stuff like that as emotional blackmail...eg don't you dare start saying NO, or don't dare grow a backbone and have your own plans and opinions etc .....but as has been said, who you are comes from within and others insecurity is their problem. If anything , you will be even more bubbly , funny and feel really confident so the positive aspects are magnified. The people that are true friends will love that.

 

[Mixman]

I haven't changed much. I'm still the joker, the comic, the friend the listener, but I am much much more confident and I speak my mind more, some people take this as a change in personality. It's not a change, it was always there, it's just I chose to be quiet.

 

[Nightwitch]

It's not a change, it was always there, it's just I chose to be quiet.

i think this is the key point....before many of us just never had the confidence to be who we were inside....who we wanted to be

 

[slimmersal]

i dont think ive changed but i think other peoples attitude towards me has. I overheard my boss who herself is over weight say to another girl that she could slap me as i could didnt have to worry about going to weight watchers anymore. I wasnt shocked as her attitude to me had changed when i had my band fitted, she started picking on me for every little thing. In the end i took a greviance out against her. It wasnt the first time that someone had complained about her. She was disciplined for her behaviour. I decided to leave and am now much happier and temping whilst i look for a permanent job.

I feel very sad about it all, but am so glad ive left as i got to the stage i would go home for dinner and spend my lunch break crying, and im not the tearful sort. Having the band fitted had given me the confidence to change a situation i wasnt happy with, i would have just sat and taken it before.

sallie

 

[dottychic]

Good for you Sallie, No-one should have the power to make you feel that way. I also agree that its other peoples attitude that changes toward you. I lost over 9 stone years ago and I saw it then. I just think, accept me as I am or move on! (sorry Jerry Springer moment there...Girlfreind) x

 

[candie]

I've always been fiesty and outgoing, but being obese did sap my personality a lotNow I think i'm getting it back ,so watch out world, here I come

 

[Stellap]

One of the things I did do (and knew I did it and hated doing it) was making do and accepting bad behaviour because I felt that was all I deserved being big. I now have the confidence to not put up with s**t from anyone so I guess that aspect of my personality has changed. I'm more challenging now. After thinking about it, I think I just wanted to be liked so fell in with other people's opinions. With the pounds falling off the real me has emerged with all my opinons, ideas and thoughts and I'm very happy about that. I once met a guy (through a BBW club) and when I asked him why he liked larger ladies he said they were more accepting and had lower standards!

 

[bexmoss86]

I just tell people i've had a band fitted, not had a lobotomy!