Mourning food already and pre op still

[excitedbutnervous]

I had my pre-assessment today and it is also the official start day of my pre-op diet. I have been fine all day but walking out of the clinic I feel increasingly low. I feel like a big fat blob and am pretty disgusted that I have let myself down and got to this stage.

Now my normal reaction is to cheer myself up by eating something nice (and prob go on a binge). However as I am now on the pre-op diet I can't.

So I am sat in the park near work feeling very sorry for myself and thinking is this the right thing for me. Do I really want to give up something I find so pleasurable. Will bring restricted on my food intake really help with this sadness, or will I always mourn the food I cannot have (albeit the quantities).

Feeling sad and alone and full of doubts

 

[Su2ie]

The doubts are normal Hun I'm sure most people here will tell you they've had the exact same thoughts and feelings as you're experiencing now, I know I did!
I loved food and used it as my coping mechanism for a very long time. I'm not going to tell you this journey is easy, it's incredibly hard at times but I can honestly say I don't regret it at all. I'm 8 months out and at target and have never really missed food post op. I'm lucky that I can eat everything but in small quantities which seems perfect to me, a reasonable trade for being slim
As for coping, I'm having to learn new ways to cope when I'm stressed without the comfort of food to help. It's hard but definitely worth it!
You'll be fine x

 

[ladilindy]

It is perfectly natural to have some doubts and to feel cross with yourself that things have got so bad you are considering surgery. As you are starting your pre-op diet it suddenly becomes very real. Ask yourself some questions

Am I happy as I am? What will happen if I don't have surgery? Does bingeing really make me feel better?

Then look at the things that will change if you lose weight. I know for me I am able to move more, I laugh a lot and have more confidence. This is only 3 months post surgery, but I honestly have no regrets.

Only you can decide if you are making the right decision, you will be able to enjoy food again, just not in such large quantities.

Good luck with your journey

Lynn x

 

[los in it]

i agree with all the above statements in my case I didn't have any last meals as I knew I could still (with fingers x)after my WLS I could possible have the same meals just in much smaller portions and so nearly 9 months post op and over 12 stone down I AM able to eat most of the same meals just smaller and I don't regret my op for a single moment
I wish you luck

 

[violetangel]

Hello my sleeve twin.

So sorry to hear that you're feeling down Hun. I know exactly what you're going through and I just want you to know that what you're feeling is normal.

When I was sat in the waiting room at my pre op assessment, I started to question myself and what I was doing. I started to think about all the food that I will be missing out on. How ridiculous!! The food that made me put some seven stone on!! The food that made me have to take Blood pressure and cholesterol tablets. The food that made me feel so vile about myself that I couldn't look at myself in the mirror! Then I had a word with myself and started to ask myself where I would be if i didn't proceed with the sleeve. The answer made me to come to my senses and my logic kicked in!! I would put more weight on, get bigger and bigger, have more weight related health issues, have to keep shopping at Evans at Christmas and probably end up having to have other types of surgery like knee replacement etc.

Hope you're feeling better soon Hun but be patient and to yourself. It is a big step but you will get through it and come out the other side.

Xxx

Sent from my iPhone using WLSurgery

 

[Kar8858]

I will put it like this as this was what made my decision, would you rather lose the weight and live a more normal life without the weight and health problems but knowing food is gone or would you rather keep eating.
I had got to the point where food had taken over totally. Now food and eating is actually a big effort. I have just been out for tea and ordered a kids chicken dipper meal. I pushed myself to eat one chicken dipper (about the size of a thumb) and one new potato. Then I was stuffed and felt uncomfortable. If you are ready to live with a totally different way of eating then you know you are ready for surgery.
Good luck and keep focused.. It is worth it but it's a life changer!

 

[excitedbutnervous]

Thank you all so very much.

I guess I was just having a mini crisis. To answer your questions:

1) Am I happy now..... Yes
Except when I catch my reflection in a mirror, window etc
Except when I feel lethargic
Except when my children tell me that their friends have teased them about their fat mum (they are only in Junior School)
Except when (tmi) I get intimate with my partner and I become self conscious
Except when I go clothes shopping and everything looks like a tight tent
Except when I go to grab clothes from the wardrobe and nothing covers my arms, legs, tummy etc enough

2) What will happen if I don't have surgery
I will spend the rest of my life trying every diet again and failing
I will beat myself up that I have failed yet again
1 will spend loads of cash on therapy, slimming clubs, new fat clothes
Ultimately, I will get fatter and develop some health problems (lucky now I have none)

So... mini crisis now over.

I have finished day one of my pre-op diet and tbh, it wasn't that awful. The hunger pangs hit me mid - late afternoon, so I just need to shuffle my snacks around.

I am now counting down the days to the beginning of my LIFE, instead of being held back by weight.

Thank you again for your replies, I am touched.

x

 

[ladilindy]

Well done hun, I would have give almost the same answers as you (except the children one, mine are grown up). You are one day down with your pre-op and one day closer to your new life. You will be surprised how quickly it goes.

Don't be afraid to share your fears, we have all probably experienced the same thing.

Lynn x

 

[Bear]

Great to see the crisis over. It's completely natural I think. The thoughts of 'i'm sure I can do this on my own' etc etc. I myself thought that for 20 odd years and I could do it on my own! I just couldn't keep it off.

With regards to the mourning of food. I honestly don't feel that way. I'm 9 1/2 months post op, i've had massive changes to my eating habits (mostly that I've gone pescetarian) but I don't miss the huge platefuls. In fact when I see others eating huge platefuls I just can't understand anymore how I could ever have eaten that much.

Completely understand about the children as well. Although I don't think my kids ever had teasing, to have my 13yr old daughter excited about sharing clothes with me is the best feeling in the world!

Can't wait to see your journey into a happy, healthy lady. x

 

[los in it]

I agree with you bear in regards to the mountains of food I see others eat! im always in shock when I see mini mountains of food and how big portions are now,and think to myself I use to eat that and still want pudding!now its small is plenty and im much happier with that

 

[Kar8858]

I'm with Los in it, I look at food now and think oh my god how the hell do you eat that! Before I would have had a starter and a dessert too!!

 

[excitedbutnervous]

Thanks all 3 of you.

Today has been much better. Clearly I am not starving but the hunger demons are there. I want my relationship with food to change as the last 40 years has not been healthy. I also don't want my children to suffer the same ills of being overweight.

 

[excitedbutnervous]

Day 3 today. Going to be difficult, no challenging, as I have a party to go to. It is chocolate cake followed by KFC, two of my fav things that I don't have very oftern. Ah well, should of had them before my pre-op diet started.

Going to be strong, and survive it!

 

[Su2ie]

You can do it!!!!! Stay strong

 

[violetangel]

Positive mental attitude xx

Sent from my iPhone using WLSurgery

 

[Crystalrainbow]

remember all the reasons your doing this hunni stay strong you can do it x x x x

 

[excitedbutnervous]

Thank god... We are now leaving KFC. My tuna salad did not hit the spot!

 

[Kar8858]

Go for it you can do it!!