my mum is so scared for me. what can i say?

[BECKYBROWN80]

i have a fab family, and they are all very supportive and excited for my new start, but my mum is absolutely distraught. she has said from day 1 that she didnt think i should do it but when i got given my date on thursday which is two weeks away she has just withdrawn. she wont speak to me about it as she is just so scared she will lose me. i want to make her feel better. i really need her there with me when i am going down and waking up. my hubby will be there but i just know i will need my mum. my mum, (as well as others in my family!) has been overweight and she even told us a couple of years ago she wanted surgery. when i reminded her of this she just said it wasnt the same! any advice?
xx

 

[Raynebubble]

your mum will soon come round hun, you need t ve her space o come to terms with it.. for a good few months bsit down before my op i felt i didnt get any support from my mum... then one day on the phone 2 weeks before the op... she shouted down the phone that she didnt want the op!! we had a sit down a and a talk and she was just scared as she didnt really know all the ins and outs... but she was there 100% fo me after the op xxx

 

[Ric]

It's a worrying time

My mom was in Cuba when I had surgery and she cried relief when she returned and I was ok.

You need to reassure her that this is what you want.

She won't stop worrying but she may come to accept it.

 

[mrscinders]

my mam was saying today to me that its the wrong decsion for me to have surgery that i should diet thats its far to dangerous i just laughed it off but i know shes just scared because she loves me thats what mums are there for to worry im sure your mum will be fine soon hun try and go round and speak to her and tell her why you want this tell her about all the people that have had wls and are fine like i said to my mum today we take chances every day even if its just crossing the road xx

 

[Yvessa]

My aunt told me just to let her be that no matter what she was going to worry. And she will, no matter what I say because 'that's what mums do'. Maybe you just need to accept that she will be scared until she sees you come out the other side?

 

[TwinkleTwinkle]

I guess I must be a bit of a hypocrite cos even though I had my op & all was well, if one of my babies came to me to say they were having major surgery for whatever reason, my world would collapse until they were safely out the other side. Certainly I would have wanted them to try every other option before taking the drastic decision we all have. Having said that, if it would ultimately help them live longer, happier, healthier lives, then I would have to quash my own panicky feelings. Let your mum read the posts on here, if she will. It is an unknown quantity to her even though she may think she knows what is what. Don't give up, let her know how much you need her ... that usually works for us mummys, our need to be needed is very strong, lol. Good Luck with your mum & with your op, sunshine xxx

 

[BECKYBROWN80]

hi thanks everyone. my sister just put my mum on the phone when i was speaking to her about it and we had a good chat. i know its a mums job to worry, i would be the same about my little girl, i just really needed to know that she would be there on my surgery day. she has assured me she will, and has said that she just wants to see me out the surgery so she can breathe again! i have told her about this site so she might pop on and have a look. she is a student nurse so see's alot of the horrible stuff and cant help thinkin about what could go wrong so i told her to come on here and see other peoples amazing stories. thanks again everyone xxx

 

[JED]

can you show your mum this site and let her see for herself all the success stories that are on here maybe it might lift her spirits about the whole thing.

 

[NOMOREyoyo]

My mum was exactly the same... really angry with me... al she went on and on about was that I had lost weight time and time before and what on earth did I need such drastic surgery for - when I explained about the 'time & time' scenario not much was said - 4 wk later & my surgery booked and paid for she is totally behind me xx
Let her come to terms with it - trouble is as a mum myself I know that we 'think' our kids r perfect even through their imperfections are there .....

Good luck xx

 

[Big an Bouncy]

Yes mums worry for england!but you could die of a weight related disease if you do nothing.