negative responce from parents.

[charlie_pops]

i finally plucked up the courage to tell my parents that i was considering wls and that ive set the ball rolling. i thought they would be pleased as ive always struggled with my weight and so have they. there was a look of horror on both there faces and my dad told me i was cheating and taking the easy way out. im feeling rotten now and i dont want to tell any more of my family or friends for fear of being judged.

popsx

 

[Caren]

i finally plucked up the courage to tell my parents that i was considering wls and that ive set the ball rolling. i thought they would be pleased as ive always struggled with my weight and so have they. there was a look of horror on both there faces and my dad told me i was cheating and taking the easy way out. im feeling rotten now and i dont want to tell any more of my family or friends for fear of being judged.

popsx

oh honey i really feel for you, its an awful feeling, i know would it help to let them look on this site to get more of a reality view? You're not cheating honey, you just dont want to be fat all your life like them good luck with this xxx

 

[Yvessa]

This is not something you've done wrong, it is their problem. Everyone but my mum is very supportive; according to her my operation is just another stress on her. How inconsiderate of me! I would suggest telling others so you get a more unbiased view of how people will react - most will be really positive in my experience.

 

[TwinkleTwinkle]

Or... don't tell anyone else as it really is no ones business but your own. I guess if your parents knew that us post op'ers still have to diet every day for the rest of our lives, they may feel differently, it is certainly not the easy option ... that would be to do nothing & just gain weight until a serious health problem came along. :sigh: Only you can decide whether or not to tell people but if you do & get a negative response, don't let it put you off. Keep your focus, sweetie ... too much depends on it. xx :wave_cry:

 

[mariew]

Unfortunately those people who know the least about it are the ones with the negative views! Don't let it upset you, it's a positive decision that will change your life for the better. Perhaps they are a bit scared for you too. It's up to you whether you tell any more of your family, but in my own experience I have found that once i answer their questions and explain fully what it will be like most people are positive about it.
Of course you still have us here if you decide to keep it to yourself. xx

 

[charlie_pops]

i know its defo gonna change my life. i want to work on cruise ships and the only thing thats stopping me is my weight. i passed the health tests apart from being overweight. i think my dad thinks its just another diet phase im going through

 

[xxpigsgalorexx]

My parents said the same.... easy decision???? I think not.... hey ho its my decision..... since being blunt and telling them as much they have been nothing but supportive.... x x x

 

[Caren]

if they have always struggled with their weight they should be a bit more understanding. But some people are just set against it. You can try speaking to them again or you can not, and just carry on, thats what im doing xxx

 

[Tatiana]

Charlie,

I'm really lucky that my parents support me in the decision to have surgery - or, at least, if they don't they've never said so to me!

The worst response was from a sister who uses every opportunity to turn attention towards herself and she won't be able to over this - apart from how worrying about me will have ruined her whole Christmas! - we just have to surround ourselves with those people who understand our decision and support us through the ups and downs!

Tatiana

 

[Yvessa]

I suspect that despite all the people who are supportive its our nature to pick up on the ones that aren't. I know that whenever I am talking about it to anyone I remember my mum's reaction.

But I agree with what Caren said; you've got to put yourself first on this one and make your own choice. I did try talking my mum around, inviting her to appointments and have just given up now. I've got people on my side.

 

[Sharonimo]

i finally plucked up the courage to tell my parents that i was considering wls and that ive set the ball rolling. i thought they would be pleased as ive always struggled with my weight and so have they. there was a look of horror on both there faces and my dad told me i was cheating and taking the easy way out. im feeling rotten now and i dont want to tell any more of my family or friends for fear of being judged.

Charlie,

If you have time have a look at a thread I posted in the general WLS discussion area:
http://www.wlsurgery.com/general-su...t-exercise-fails-bariatric-surgery-works.html

(I am *not* spammer or PR person for Dr Sharma before I get accused again -- in fact I tried to message you privately to avoid posting here on your thread, but I was unable to PM you.)

I told everyone from the start -- friends, family, colleagues at work, my employer (so they would know to expect lots of hospital appointments etc).

Not everyone has fully agreed with my decision (actually my GP's decision -- in Jan of this year I finally found a GP who was more convinced that I should go down this route than I was!) ..... but I have found that I can answer any negative questions from friends and family with the back-up of lots of excellent scientific research !!!

And as for that old favourite: "Oh but you have lost weight before with Weight Watchers / Slimming World / Rosemary Conley / whatever ..... why can't you do that again?"

MY ANSWER: Yes, and the maximum I ever lost thru diet and exercise was 4 stone and I put it all back on again - how many times do you want me to repeat the loop? ;-)

Bariatric surgery gives us the opportunity to finally close the loop, and provides a long term permanent solution to obesity and all the co-morbidities, and enables a post-op patient to live on a restricted calorie intake *without* the constant feeling of hunger and being deprived that is the nagging devil on the shoulder with most other "normal" diet regimes.

 

[Caren]

I suspect that despite all the people who are supportive its our nature to pick up on the ones that aren't. I know that whenever I am talking about it to anyone I remember my mum's reaction.

But I agree with what Caren said; you've got to put yourself first on this one and make your own choice. I did try talking my mum around, inviting her to appointments and have just given up now. I've got people on my side.

spot on!

 

[suebland]

I was so lucky my dad lent me the money, he is so supportive always as been thro my life, might winde him up wen this is paid and tell him I want a sex change next ha ha see him then x

 

[Mecca123]

I had full support off my parents because they if I don't have the bypass they won't do knee replacement I did .may be in time they will understand but end of day your doing for self and not other people good luck

 

[Sharonimo]

I was so lucky my dad lent me the money, he is so supportive always as been thro my life, might winde him up wen this is paid and tell him I want a sex change next ha ha see him then x

Glad to see you are recovering so well, Sue -- you have time to be a comedian !!

 

[suebland]

Lol much better now Hun, you don't think it at the time but wen people tell u the pain does ease its true, just a nightmare now no fill in my band and on liquid diet I am starting to get hungry and thinking food arrrggggggg!!!!!! X

 

[Magsy]

Must be really difficult for you. You have to follow your dream and do what you feel is best for you. It is certainly not the easy option and sometimes its people not knowing the facts. When they see how things are improving for you after surgery they will see the benefits for themselves and then hopefully will come around. I wish you all the best, go with whats in your heart and follow that dream.. I may meet you one day while i am cruising around xxxxx

 

[charlie_pops]

thankyou all for the advice, i spoke to my mam and she seems alittle easier about it. i explained it more to my dad and he said i should just get on with it

 

[TwinkleTwinkle]

thankyou all for the advice, i spoke to my mam and she seems alittle easier about it. i explained it more to my dad and he said i should just get on with it

If only it was that simple

Good luck, honey, I am sure they will mellow with time :sigh: xxx

 

[Caren]

thankyou all for the advice, i spoke to my mam and she seems alittle easier about it. i explained it more to my dad and he said i should just get on with it

oh bless ya but it sounds like they are starting to come round already little by little, slow but sure i think they will will gradually get easier with it, maybe it was just a shock to them, try showing them some before and after pics, dramatic!!! good luck cherry drop, we are always here xxx