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mp604

New Member
Hello all!
I'm another newbie to the site having spent the last few months seriously considering and researching WLS and went for a free appointment today with a WLS dietician at Spire.

To be honest in my gut I know this is the right route for me but I know my friends and family would not understand or support me so am keeping it all to myself and finding the lack of support/someone to talk to hard. Has anyone else gone through with surgery where they've not told others?

I'm going to have to privately fund somehow because I don't want to wait to keep putting on more weight and deteriorating health before the NHS will consider me, I want to be pre-emptive because I've been overweight since I was 10 years old and it does majorly affect my life.

As I've researched more into it I've switched thoughts from Balloon to Band to POSE and now pretty sure I've settled on the gastric sleeve being best for me. Any post op sleevers got any sage words of advice for me?? :)

Thanks!
 
Hi and welcome!

There are lots of sleevers on here, have a look through the sleeve threads.

Good luck on your journey x
 
Hiya. I thoroughly researched all types of surgery before I decided to ask for a bypass but I will go with what my surgeon advises in the end. You are among friends here and the sleevers where ace in answering my many questions. The only reason I ended up going for the bypass is because I am diabetic and its my best chance of coming off the meds otherwise the sleeve would be very tempting. I know that the sleevers have had fantastic results xxx
 
Hi, I'm the same, overweight since forever and not telling anyone about the surgery.

This forum was a godsend for me, really made me feel like I wasn't alone and answering a lot of my worries and reassuring me when I was being a bit silly :)

I went with the band because it's reversible but can stay there forever too if I want it to. I think with the balloon I'd probably end up reverting to my old patterns after it was removed. Sleeve, bypass and wrap were a little too extreme for me and I don't have any major health issues on the side anyway. I originally had thought of the bypass because you lose more but I don't like the idea of changing my organs that drastically, I'm a bit chicken lol.
 
Thanks for your replies guys!

Thump - as you've kept the surgery secret how've you dealt with questions about work leave and your weight loss? I'm such an awful liar but I know if I was open about it, most people would be judgemental....

Yvie - Best of luck for your first appointment, hope all goes well

xx
 
mp604 said:
Hello all!
I'm another newbie to the site having spent the last few months seriously considering and researching WLS and went for a free appointment today with a WLS dietician at Spire.

To be honest in my gut I know this is the right route for me but I know my friends and family would not understand or support me so am keeping it all to myself and finding the lack of support/someone to talk to hard. Has anyone else gone through with surgery where they've not told others?

I'm going to have to privately fund somehow because I don't want to wait to keep putting on more weight and deteriorating health before the NHS will consider me, I want to be pre-emptive because I've been overweight since I was 10 years old and it does majorly affect my life.

As I've researched more into it I've switched thoughts from Balloon to Band to POSE and now pretty sure I've settled on the gastric sleeve being best for me. Any post op sleevers got any sage words of advice for me?? :)

Thanks!
Click to expand...

I don't discuss my plans with anyone except my husband. I have told my daughters (one positive response and one very negative), and my closest friend - she is worried about the actual risks of surgery, but very supportive (I have only just told her though and I've been fighting for surgery for 7 years). I find this site and the BOSPA support groups give me all the support I need.

In my opinion, you don't have to tell anyone that you don't want to, but you also don't have to lie either. Just don't tell them everything. I've said on other threads that in one way I am lucky that I have to have my gall bladder removed anyway, so if people ask - I will just be able to say that I'm having, or I've had, my gall bladder out.

As for those who don't know that I'm waiting for the gall bladder op - all I shall be saying to those people (only if they ask) is that I am working on losing the weight.
 
Hi there welcome to the forum, there's loads of sleeves on here, it's a very popular op and there seems to be a very popular response from the sleeves who are post op.
I think it's sad that some of us have to keep our ops secret due to judgemental views of others, I haven't kept mine a secret and I'll be giving very short shrift to anyone who judges me or makes negative comments about it!
Lots and lots of luck in your WLS journey, keep us up to date with your progress.
Em xxxx
 
For work leave, I just told my boss I needed to get surgery and that it was private. It put her in a difficult position with HR but we were both of the opinion that we have a right to privacy and it's not HR's business what our issues are. So she was great. Even if they had insisted, I would just have used personal leave time instead. They can't force you to give out personal info.

I'm only three weeks out of surgery or so so the weight loss hasn't been dramatic yet and tbh, I've been on so many diets anyway that they probably think it's just one more and it's working. I find that people mostly don't ask or care, at least around me.

If anyone comments I just sort of smile and shrug, "Oh, I'm not doing anything special. Eating more healthily". It's not even lying because I AM doing most of the work. The band is just an accessory that helps just like the calorie counting app and the running shoes, it's just inside me. :)
 
I'm one very happy sleevie; six and a half months post op and 57 pounds down from my original 200 pounds. I didn't keep it a secret from my family as I needed their support but even now when people ask me how I did it I just say "hard work", which is true. Any surgery isn't a magic wand; you still have to do your bit although the sleeve makes it much easier to control your portion size.
 
I told everybody! Pretty sure even my students know by now lol. Most people have been fine. My mum is a bit bananas but had full support from everyone else - even had support from someone who generally disagrees with this sort of procedure.
 
hi mp604 and welcome to the site,i had my sleeve done 5 weeks ago also private,this site has been a godsend,for me the sleeve was the perfect choice ,i know not everyone will have a positivereview regarding post op but mine was straight forward and had no more discomfort than when i had my gallbladder out if anything it was easier as i could sleep on my sides within days of op,good luck hun.xx:D
 
Hi
My friend who had the sleeve started sowing the seeds a month b4 her op, she told people that her cholesterol was high and was determined to eat more healthily and bring it down and lose weight at the same time. She went on to get to goal weight in about a year and a half. Only me and 2 other people know and for work, the hospital and her doctor were happy to put "abdominal surgery" on her certificate. As far as friends and family go you could tell them the same and after you have recovered you might change your mind and tell them anyway.

Kim
 
Hi
I am in a similar situation, haven't told family 1 friend knows so I have a little support but am on here looking for advice really I have been for initial appointment at Whittington, I don't know if the surgeon will suggest sleeve or band.
 
Thanks for all your replies everyone, if others have managed I'm sure I'll be able to negotiate the questions.

I'm in a similar situation to you Jackie - really confused and disheartened today after speaking to a few different surgery providers on the phone and being made to feel quite stupid for considering a sleeve for a BMI of 37, needing to lose 'only' 7 stone and at my age of 26. One women started throwing so many negatives about the sleeve at me (inc becoming underweight, malnourished and problems when it comes to childbearing!) and pushing the gastic band even through I said for me I think it's important to deal with my Grehlin levels as I'm always hungry. I feel I would end up cheating the band with high calorie liquids and really cannot afford to keep having band adjustments.

Ruthie you have a similar height and start weight as myself - did you consider the gastric band or come across similar opposition to the sleeve? What made you decide on the sleeve?

Thanks xxx
 
Hi mp604
Thank you for replying to me I a only 5ft tall but have reached 17st, due to medical probs which started spring 2011 I was overweight already but have put on the extra 5 st since then.
 
I think with key hole surgery recovery is quick I had a bypass and it was amazing how quick recovery was after such a big op inside your body, everyone kept commenting bout how well i looked. Let the doc helpyou decide, take their advice they know what they are talking bout. xx
 
I started at 17st too but went for the band a) cheapest b) I didn't want my inner parts being chopped n shaped lol. Only you can decided. All surgery requires hard work.....exercise, willpower etc I just feel that with a band we get to eat more (still not loads) which makes eating out easier, and not at risk of dumping. As for aftercare and fills then just ensure you buy a package...uk prices are I think around 6k with 3yr unlimited fills.....reality is I have this but as im near the end of my journey it really does diminish the number of times you need to go! of late I've gone bi monthly for top ups so not excessive. Good luck in deciding!
 
Thanks for your thoughts, i'm going to go see the doctor this fri and hope they can help me work out the best option for me x
 
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