No faith in my surgeon

[LeighZ]

Met with the surgeon today. I was told at my last appt i would be given a date for surgery ...HA! The consultants will meet sometime next week and i will hear within a month and surgery 'should be' scheduled within 6 weeks.....

BUT.................. when i went to the hospital last week, the consultant then said he didnt feel i was suitable for a by-pass. With underlying weight and non-weight related health issues, he was more comfortable with the sleeve now, and in 9-12 months the by-pass. He specifically stated he felt it would be too dangerous to have me under anesthetic for the 2-3 hours it would take for the longer surgery

Today, a different surgeon, presumably the one doing my surgery... said he wanted to to the by-pass.

When i went in two weeks ago, i had assumed they were going to do a by-pass, and was emormously relieved when they said the 'sleeve'. I was in total shock when this guy did such a dramatic u-turn.250.

Moments prior to seeing him i was speaking to the anethitist and she was comfortable about the sleeve etc. When i queried the surgeon about the by-pass and the additional risks, he said i was borderline for being a candidate for the sleeve and if i was a male, (because of weight/fat distrbution is different) i would definately have the sleeve but he wasnt concerned and didnt see the point in not going ahead and just doing the one surgery. After almost no discussion, which i felt was falling on deaf ears anyway, he said i could have the sleeve and then the by-pass if i wanted...

He was almost dimissive about my concerns and i realise now how contradictory (even to his own colleague) his information was. I came away so depressed ......... I really dont know what to do.

 

[phatmomma]

If i were you i would be confused and a little concerned too. I would be tempted to go with what the anaesthetist said as it is that person who is the 'experienced' one with anaesthetics especially with the bariatric patient.

If you have decided you would rather go with the sleeve then you must stick with your guns. When you go for your next appt take someone strong willed with you as support who will stand up and be counted. Also take a list of the reasons why you want whichever operation you decide on.

Finally, and i have already commented on your injection thread... If you really want this life changing surgery, and believe me it is life changing. To be honest given the options of living life overweight or putting up with shutting your eyes for a minute while someone gives you a clexane injection i know which i'd choose x

 

[LeighZ]

Have been thinking about this all day and i am genuinely unsure i can accept this surgeon.

I have gone over and over the conversation we had to try and pin point my concerns with him. Ive realised just how contradictary most of what he said was.

The whole appt was too rushed for me to clear my head and absorb anything. I dont actually have another appt. I am suppsosed to wait until i receive my date and then just turn up.

I am going to call my Dr from the weight management team tomoro and hope its possible to discuss this with him. I need a third party to disect everything that happened today. At the moment i am fairy l sure i cannot entrust my care to a person who in one breath tells me i am borderline case for one surgery then says he wants to do the more serious surgery; and proceeds to contradict his own colleagues as the the risks of this.

 

[starr]

hi leigh i agree with julie , id do whatever i had to for this surgery.and if i wasnt sure id def take someone with me who would support me and help get the answers i needed, why not add your hospital and consultant to your details ,and maybe others will give you their opinion if they have had the same surgeon, also you seem very unsure about the whole process,which is natural ,its scarey,i would ring and ask for another appt, ,explain that you are worried,confused and need to talk it through, good luck with everything x

 

[LeighZ]

Thanks Starr i appreciate the input.

Thank you both. I appreciate the input. Thinking out loud...........so my apologies if i am blunt and to the point...

What concerns me, even more having taken the deep breath and thought through the conversation in detail.. is the surgeon completely contradicted all that his own colleagues had said. It is impossible for me to accept 3 people in the team would tell me the 'safest' option for me would be the sleeve then by-pass, then him to say i am borderline for this so 'lets just go for the by-pass'.

I have to admit to panicking when he then tells me if i want to think about it i can come back in a few weeks or so and start the process again. Being a physician it is unlikely he has ever experienced the feeling of constant cancelled appts and delays; and quite frankly i was/am at a point where i feel...enough is enough; how many times can a person be expected to tolerate this?

As im sure you each know, this is not a decison we have taken lightly. There is a tremendous amount of soul searching and heartache accepting we are personally respopnsible for our current situation. And although we may not 'want' the surgery, getting ourselves to the point where we can accept we 'need' this surgery to stay alive.

As for the injections, there is no doubt i will need to have them for 3 weeks, and sadly it isnt a fear of pain or needles but a genuine phobia..i know the cause but wont bore you with all that..and know from experience this isnt going to go away. It is stictly a phobia about the location. Thinking about it, my reaction was partly due to how he dropped it in like a bombshell and then dismissed my concerns so flippantly.

This is stressful and scary, in part for me because if anything happens to me, the choices for my children are 'care' for the younger two or my eldest giving up his choices for the future to become stand in parent for them.

It took a long time to accept the necessity for this surgery let alone explain all this to my children. Having 'got my head around it' and set in my mind (after my initial consultation), what was going to happen, it was unacceptable that he rushed me through the process instead of allowing me even a few minutes to grasp what he was saying about changing the surgery. I neither needed nor wanted 'weeks' to think about it and come back and start again; i needed a few minutes to absorb the information and then properly discuss the contradictions with what his colleague had said 2 weeks earlier.

Perhaps i expected too much but i do know i expected better from any member of a weight loss team. I know i cant go ahead with the by pass surgery now. I have to insist they stick with the original suggestion of the sleeve and later the by-pass. My dilema now is if i will be able to entrust my care to this specific dr.

 

[LeighZ]

If you thought i had concerns before ..read on..............

I decided i had to suck it up and call the hospital and talk to the original surgeon i saw, clarify things and tell him how upset i was about all the conflicting info yesterday.

Also to say i was not interested in having the by-pass but wanted the sleeve first and the by-pass later.

I asked for the alternate surgeon who gave the presentation 2 weeks ago and the receptions says... i was just looking up your number to call you Leigh... we have an appt date for you for next week??????????????????? And get this for the sleeve although i stupidly in panic signed for the by pass.

Again contradiction about the pre-op diet. All this talk about the importance of two weeks and suddenly one week is ok. I staed my concerns to her, telling her why i was phoning and her reply was 'oh well you have your date now see you on the 21st' and she was gone before i could ask again to speak to the surgeon again....

Are they intentionally messing with my head?

Although i saw Mr Magee yesterday my sureon is apparently a Mr kerrigan whom i have never laid eyes on

Just called them back and said i definately want to go with the sleeve and that next week is not enough time to prepare..apart from anything else i need to arrange childcare. They have given me a date for 29th but i said i am accepting provisionally; and i still need to talk to someone other than Magee to clarify things before my appt