No longer the fattest!

[phatmomma]

I've read articles about wls and how people within their social circle or workplace are worried that by someone having wls they will be next in line to be the fattie when the other is successful. I know that none of my friends will feel like that, to be honest we're all fat and most of them are happy with it so fair play. Anyway i digress....

The other day i popped to my mom's and she was saying how my sister had rung her the night before saying how "gorgeous" i looked (having been on a hot date with OH). How sweet, then my mom told me that my sister is worried i'll be thinner than her! I've been bigger than her since around the age of 18, up to then she pinched my clothes. She is super supportive of me and never ever has she put me down.

I expected some kind of reaction from strangers but didnt think family would think this way. Am not expecting any sort of comments as she is a lovely sister, am a little concerned as she has gained quite a bit of weight (by her standards not mine) and don't want her to be uncomfortable around me. I guess i really just wondered if others had experience of similar things and how did you handle it?

 

[Snowcrystal]

Hi Julie

Judging by your past relationship, it does not sound like there was any malice in what she said...she just knows that things will be different to how they are now...and that can take some getting used to...It's all about comfort zones...Ask her for her help and that way she'll feel included and feel she has contributed to your weight loss journey... you two may well swap places weight wise, but she'll still be your lovely sister (wish I had one)...maybe you can make it a joint effort later on when you've been bypassed...You could diet together...

(((hugs)))

 

[tesmaralda]

I always thought that I knew who would have a problem with me having the op, but the person How I wa dreading telling because I knew they would go off on one actually has turned out to be one of the most supportive and my best friend who I thought wouldn't have a problem with, has been the opposite. I have seen her maybe twice since my op and every time I phone her to arrangea coffee or to take the girls out she makes an excuse. The reason did come out at a christmas party when she was very drunk. Why you ask because I will no longer be her "fat friend" instead she will be mine. It's a shame as she and her husband are my youngest daughters god parents. Still until she realises that I am still the same person and am no threat to her relationship with her hubby I'll just keep plodding along and keep trying every now and again. x

 

[thinkbethin]

Julie it was probably just a comment that meant nothing. Your sister is supportive so I guess it was said in a joking manner. Don't take it to heart as she would'nt have meant to hurt youxx

 

[xxsarahxx]

thanks for the thread phatmomma, i never really thought about these situations arising before i read this. i guess there will always be someone jealous of your achievements, whoever they are. I really don't think your sister meant anything other than your weight loss highlighting some of her own insecurities maybe. i'm sure she will still be very supportive to her (not so big), big sis x

 

[Emma Louise]

I read about this in: "Weight loss surgery for dummies".

If it was said by an aquatance (sp?) it would be a different story, but because it was your sister, i'm thinking it may have just been a passing comment. Dont take any notice of it babes.

xxxxxx

 

[phatmomma]

Yeah i know she has no malice in it. She's always been there over the last 20+ years of my yo-yo dieting. If i can support her when she tries to lose her weight then i will be there 110%.

On a brighter note i can borrow clothes off her if/when i get down to a 18/16 and if i buy anything new she can share. It will be like when we were kids...

Am over my worries about the OH not fancying/loving me when i'm slimmer now. He has reassured me he'll still love me when i'm smaller so gonna put it to the back of my head and roll with it....

Terri, wow, what a shame when your best friend thinks like that. I don't know if i mentioned it before but i actually don't think i have any 'thin' friends (work colleagues yes). My social life revolves around big girls nights out where i have met most of my friends, my best friends know i'm going for the op and they know my reasons. They are wonderfully supportive as in everything i do, so am pretty sure things won't be different there 'phew' <<<wipes brow>>>. Only thing is eventually i won't have the necessary qualifications to go to my big girls nights out, it is for larger people . Shame as it is the one place in the world i've ever been where people can be theirselves and never be judged for it...........

 

[bypass.sarah]

hello my sister is super supportive but has all ways been the skinny one size(8/10) and i've all ways been the fat one size(28/30) now im a size 10/12 and shes a size 14,she has a hard time dealing with the change. I think it'll take some getting used to but us sisters will all ways find some thing to argue about (SISTERS) x x x x x x x x

 

[gaelic girl]

All of my friends are all around a size 8 to 12 with the exception of one who is a size 22. All of them have been really supportive but my friend (size 22) who we are going on holiday with at christmas said "oh you will be skinny and i'll be the fat one" Again no malice in that but she is plagued with health problems and is now doing Rosemary Connely(sp) successfully. Now whether that is coincidence or not i don't know. I'm sure you and your sister will still be very supportive of each other and change always brings a reaction of some sort from those around us. Terri so sorry your best friend is being like that, my best friend is a recovering anorexic and i've had so many concerns over the years with her eating habits but she says she has never seen me as fat just her "bestest" freind and has already put herself in charge of the big makeover for our next year's girlie hol. x

 

[elffie01]

Julie I just read your sisters comment a different way to the way I think you took it. I think its more of a concerned comment rather than a jealous one. Maybe shes thinking she doesnt want you getting too thin and looking ill? Well thats the way I kind of read it anyway.
I doubt theres malice in any of it though Im sure shes proud as punch of you. And so she should be

 

[AA1234]

I have just put a thread in my diary about this. You don't think about this side of things when you go for WLS.

I am in a slightly different situation to most people as only my hubby knows I have had the band. So, I get lots of comments about how much weight I have lost but nobody is expecting my to loose loads (why would they? I have yo yo'd all my life, One friend even said to me "you will put it all back on you know?).

I also have a group of friends that I don't need to loose anymore weight (still 1 1/2 stone overweight).