OT/ Son leaving home

[quetiapina]

Well, he's 21 and he's (finally) off to UNI. He is moving into student house 2mrw. It's in the same city as where I live but I have so many mixed feelings - he used to stay a lot with a girlfriend he had a couple of years back but this feels like he's flying the nest properly.

I brought him up on my own and we are v close although we both annoy each other sometimes. I know it's time for him to go and I have my lovely OH and my dogs at home. I also know that he's only half an hour away...but he's going. He's 6 foot 2, eyes of blue and he's still my baby but he's going:cry:.

I'm very happy for him too, and I don't want to get upset in front of him when I take him to the house tomorrow. I just want him to work hard, be safe and happy. Oh dear, I'm welling up...

 

[thinkbethin]

Jenni this has got to be the hardest thing to do. Letting go is something we all have to do even when we don't want to. He's 21 and he's only down the road so to speak. I bet he's home with you more than at the house once he's had a bit of freedom. Try not to be upset sweetheart. You have obviously brought him up well for him to even get into uni so be proud of him. I know you've had your moments like we do when we want the best for them but now its time for you and your oh to have YOUR time. Enjoy the freedom of the house just like your son will be doing. I would like to bet a months wager on him being round at yours for his tea or to lend a tenner within the month. Big hugs to you and good luck to your sonxx

 

[quetiapina]

Thankyou Gaynor. Thinking about it I guess he'll be back with his washing too. I know you are right, it's time for me and hubby to have space - and Daniel also. Never thought I might miss the sound of size 11's crashing down the stairs or the front door being slammed (why can't they just close a door?)

Oh dear

 

[PinkyButtonz]

Hi Jenni,

As a single parent of a 19 year old, I feel for you. Though my daughter is still at home like you & your son we have times when we annoy each other. I hope the day she leaves is the day she leaves to get married. Or thats what she tells me lol.

I think the close bond you share will never be broken. I'm sure he'll be back for Sunday dinner & when he's run out of clean undies lol.

Take care
Pinky

 

[thinkbethin]

Thankyou Gaynor. Thinking about it I guess he'll be back with his washing too. I know you are right, it's time for me and hubby to have space - and Daniel also. Never thought I might miss the sound of size 11's crashing down the stairs or the front door being slammed (why can't they just close a door

Oh dear

Yours as well eh? I thought it was just mine that did'nt know how to close the door properly lol. You'll be fine Jenni,just make sure you have plenty of wash powder in. He'll bring it home for mum to do just like she always has lol. It won't be just one bag either, it will be everything he owns. Once there's nothing clean to wear he'll be back, honestxx

 

[Roch]

Hi Jenni i know how u feel 100% i have bought my son Aaron up on my own and we are very close and he dropped the bombshell last night that he wants to join the army, he has been thinking about it for yrs and last yr he started the process but changed his mind as he was in a steady relationship, 18 months later they have split up and now he has def made up his mind to enlist.
Aaron is just 17 and it is very hard for me to think he will be in the army, i can cope with him leaving home but the thought of him being so young and poss being in a very dangerous place like Afghanistan sends shivers down my body.
Am sure ur son will be round on a regular basis for his dinner and his bags of washing and ironing and to give his mum some cuddles xxx

Lol my son never shuts doors he just slams them

 

[tubbiesgirl]

Hiya,
I have two daughters, 24 and 19 they both live with their partners, and eldest has a baby, When the youngest moved out I was really sad, I didnt let it show, helped with moving, putting up curtains making cushion covers, washing kitchen cupboards, they all come back for lunch and pop in's and now when they are all gone and it is just me, the cats and the chickens I breathe a sigh of relief I love them to bits, but they are growing up girls and now they are not with me I can see from afar what a fab job I did of bringing them up on my own!! It does get better I promise

 

[WeightlossWannabee]

Hi, Jenni,
Yep - I can definately relate to the door slamming ;-)
Both my children are still at home but I dread the day they move out. As others have said, though, I'm sure your son will be back to spend time with you and, as you have said - he's only down the road.
Good luck to you and your son - he has done well to get his uni place. You must be very proud. xx

 

[Karma67]

Awww hun I can imagine it's going to be hard for you, but as everyone has said before it's a testament to your brilliant 'child rearing'. He's 21 and off to further education, and this will be a wonderful time in his life that he will look fondly on for years to come (and no doubt with a few hangovers lol)...but as you have said i bet he won't educate himself in the ways of the mystical washing machine!!

 

[BeaBea]

I remember the same thing happening to me, my son left home to go to Uni, it was in the same town as we lived and he too lived in Uni accomodation. I was upset, but do you know he visited so much that I hardly noticed he was gone at times. It's a long time ago now, but he only had to go into certain lectures, he did work part time, but I think it made him really independent as well. I hope it goes well and look forward to all that dirty washing!!

 

[Bonita]

Its hard at the time Jenni. I had four sons and felt bad when they left with each and everyone of them (especially my disabled son).

Before you know it he'll be bounding through that door destroying your peace and you'll be wishing he'd go home again...lol

 

[gaelic girl]

Hi Jenni
I know how you feel when my son left home after having brought him up myself for years i was so upset but like everyone says he will be back to be fed and when the washing and the money runs out lol so don't think you are out of the "door slamming" routine just yet! You should be very proud of how well you have done to see him going to uni x

 

[BlueDiamond]

Well, he's 21 and he's (finally) off to UNI. He is moving into student house 2mrw. It's in the same city as where I live but I have so many mixed feelings - he used to stay a lot with a girlfriend he had a couple of years back but this feels like he's flying the nest properly.

I brought him up on my own and we are v close although we both annoy each other sometimes. I know it's time for him to go and I have my lovely OH and my dogs at home. I also know that he's only half an hour away...but he's going. He's 6 foot 2, eyes of blue and he's still my baby but he's going:cry:.

I'm very happy for him too, and I don't want to get upset in front of him when I take him to the house tomorrow. I just want him to work hard, be safe and happy. Oh dear, I'm welling up...

I Know how u feel my sons just flown the nest (gone in the army) and his only 16 :cry: it does get better with time, I am glad there are things like telephones and emails , makes all the difference when they keep
in touch

 

[Neen]

I can't imagine how it must feel Jenni, I panic about how my two will manage in the big wide world and they're only 8 and 10. If it helps any though, back awhile I was talking to my counsellor in depth about them in the future and about how they might cope and so on (as both are autistic I tend to get very scared for them) and she gave me a new and more positive angle on it. While there are things I can't control what they can take from me into the future is the knowledge they are loved beyond words, the confidence in themselves that they CAN do things and CAN cope and the ability to take care of themselves and have happy fulfilling lives because of what myself and my partner have taught them now. So I have no doubt your son will do just fine as you have given him all he needs and more to get on with the next stage in life, and of course you have the bonus of being nearby too. You enjoy your new freedom as well xxx Hugs xx

 

[Big an Bouncy]

Ditto everything already said,sons always come back to mum!I should know Ive got a 33 year old who wont leave home!His last girlfriend didnt last very long,she couldnt cook.!

 

[quetiapina]

Thankyou everybody, your words have really helped. Well, I took Daniel to his new place. He has chosen well, the Landlady is lovely and very sensible, the house is large and beds/storage provided. I am really impressed how he has sorted it all out and I guess I have to accept he is a grown up. I gave him millions of advice within 5 mins - covering everything from having regular showers, to lie on his side if he gets too drunk, check smoke alarms, don't be late for lectures etc. He was quite patient but did point out that had I noticed that none of the other parents did that. Oh well can't be helped. Just hope he is safe, does enough work and has a good time.
Thankyou all so much
Lv Jen x

 

[margaretmc]

Hi Jenni
It is hard when they leave home and it doesnt matter how old they are or how tall they are their still your babies . And just think when he come to visit you he`ll have a big bag of washing for you hun . He`ll be fine he`ll have his mates to keep an eye on him . Take care .
Margaret xx

 

[hopelesscase]

My son decided that he wasnt going to uni but getting a job. But every weekend he meets up with all his mates from school who are now at uni invariable sat and sun mornings i come downstaires to find a couple of bodies in my lounge. After a cooked breakfast they head off back to their halls or home to their mums for sunday lunch and to pick their washing up that was promptly delivered there on friday eve.
My son was talking about getting his own place one sunday morning over breakfast with his mates and one of them said what would you want to do that for when you have all this. Plus where would we crash after a night out yrs is the closest place to town.
nice to know ive got my uses for something. lol
talking to my sons friends mums whos boys have left and gone to uni they all say that what time they do spend together these days is far better quality then when they were at home full time.
take care
carole