Other peoples comments can be rather amusing

[purplepansyem]

When I decided to go for weight loss surgery, I also made the decision not to hide it from my friends and family.

I totally respect other people's decisions to keep it to themselves, but I decided that if the people I love and care about could make snap decisions and assumptions about my choices, that was their problem, not mine.

Once I received my op date, I was so excited that I told everyone lol.

Most of the comments have been great and I've had some questions which I've been happy to answer, but some of them have left me rather amused and also rather bemused.

These are just a few of the less supportive/less understanding comments that I've had:

Oh, so you won't be able to drink alcohol after the op. I guess you won't be able to come out with us anymore then.

No! Don't have weight loss surgery! You won't be the same person anymore, you won't have the same personality!

So, you're having a band then? (No, a sleeve) Oh, so where does the band sit then? (It's a sleeve, not a band) Oh, so, do you still have a stomach when they've finished?

Why can't you just lose weight normally (I've been trying all my adult life and I'm 45 now!) Yeah, but I'm sure if you went on a diet, you'd be able to lose weight...

You're gonna have LOADS of lose skin after this operation (Well yes, probably, but I'd have the same amount of lose skin if I was able to diet naturally) No you wouldn't, only an operation will give you lots of baggy skin, if you lost the weight naturally the skin would 'ping' back.

I'd love to hear the 'off the wall' comments that other people have heard.

 

[Crystalrainbow]

LOL my best one was 'if you can loose some weight on the pre op diet cant you loose the rest on it' LOL

I just sent the comment straight back saying could you??? LOL

But i still get stupid comments even now lol and the looks when i put something in my mouth hmmmmmmm maybe i'm just not meant to eat now LOL

 

[purplepansyem]

LOL my best one was 'if you can loose some weight on the pre op diet cant you loose the rest on it' LOL

I just sent the comment straight back saying could you???

What a great comeback! Nice and snappy lol

 

[Lincs Lass]

I've not had anything dissimilar to what you've mentioned but in 3 weeks time I'm seeing my younger sister for the first time since my op (Feb 2013 - we're not close!!) and she was the most negative.

My come back will to be drop dead gawjus and half the size she is

 

[odonnellcheryl]

What a great comeback! Nice and snappy lol

hopefully I'm wrong and you don't go through what I have gone through but believe me since I had mine nearly a year ago you wouldn't believe what people have said to me things like you really look old or I know a really good face creAm for all those lines and you really look old it's pathetic I just think it's people being jealous but still hurts oh and when I told someone I went to the gym they said think you need to go a bit more lol it's been mainly in work but if you get that just remember you have done it for you and no one else I have lost seven and a half stone and gone from a size 20 to a 10 so good luck to you x

 

[purplepansyem]

hopefully I'm wrong and you don't go through what I have gone through but believe me since I had mine nearly a year ago you wouldn't believe what people have said to me things like you really look old or I know a really good face creAm for all those lines and you really look old it's pathetic I just think it's people being jealous but still hurts oh and when I told someone I went to the gym they said think you need to go a bit more lol it's been mainly in work but if you get that just remember you have done it for you and no one else I have lost seven and a half stone and gone from a size 20 to a 10 so good luck to you x

That's awful Cheryl, mine have been mostly funny, not hurtful like yours Your weight loss is amazing and I bet you feel loads healthier than you used to. Those people are ignorant

 

[natclaire33)]

I have told my parents and work mates that I am having wls.My parents are ok with it and I have mixed responses from work friends. but had a friend at work today say have you got a date so explained where I am with the different appointments and she said good luck and keep going. What she also said was that ignore the negative comments from people who have never had a weight issue/ problem and do it for yourself, she said you know in yourself whats right to do when yu have struggled with your weight for years ) as she has). I thought that it was really nice of her to say that.

 

[Stacey83]

What other people think is their business! As long as you have the support of family or close friends to help you through you'll be fine!

Pre op I found my fellow obese friends were very curious and my healthy friends didn't really get it. Post op my obese friends are no longer my friends because I was the biggest and now I'm not they can't hide behind me and some of the *****y comments were just too ridiculous like the week I got out I had "you look great but you'll need a tummy tuck soon, better start saving" or the person who came to visit and waved diet coke under my face and went "ha, ha you can't have this ever again!" but screw them! I had the surgery for me, not anyone else!

Now that I'm off to the gym, having early night's and slowly getting back into and embracing life my healthy friends have started to get it and are so supportive, they keep me going and look after me! I get invited to play sport, I get invited on bike rides, I get invited to dinners where they go out of their way to accommodate me and keep me going.

Just remember who you're doing it for and choose carefully who comes on the journey with you! It's quality not quantity!
X

 

[MayraF]

Well my immediate family and my partner are very supportive. Apart from a family member that sent me links to horror stories about people who have died after surgery. I basically told her where to go, now she doesn't really talk to me lol

The strange thing is, recently my mum won't shut up about this program, kinda like The Biggest Loser like "oh they work really hard, and they lose so much weight! They exercise a lot, and there's this girl that's your size blah blah blah" and this makes me feel so crap. She also keeps telling me that this friend if my sister is struggling and very ill after her op. Now I'm not sure it's a mother's thing and maybe she's trying to scare me, but she was so supportive before!

 

[Butterfly_lady]

Tell them "When I want your opinion I will give it to you"

 

[sundowners]

I have only had one negative comment and that someone said ' you know that you do not live as long once you have had the op.', I soon told her I won't be living long if I don't do something about it anyway.

We have a good circle of friends (6 of us in the group) and we have just spent the weekend together. They are so supportive, to the point of being invited for a roast dinner, I told the hosts that I would bring my milk with me (still on my 8 week milk diet), and they said what's wrong with our milk, so I said 'OK I will drink yours'. I took with me two of my milk SF jellies only to find they had made some for me, that's real friends for you.

 

[CaniSani]

I told person who I consider as my aunt that I have having surgery she has said "a lot of people get stomach cancer by having a gastric band"' "go in the Atkins diet" I have plenty of times before when I've gone back to eating normally I have put the weight back on and more" she also said "go on the Milky Way diet" does that even exist? She has said "have liposuction" as if it will help me to lose 7 stone, also she has said "spend the money on a car, you'd like driving" a car would never make me happy, I look hideous the way I am.

Can someone tell me if this is her just really being jealous? She knows how much I hate life

 

[MayraF]

Do you guys ever think that people are like this because with the weight loss we're no longer going to be the "big one" in the group? Like because of the changes in dynamic, they get like this because they'll no longer be able to cope with their own insecurities by saying "hey, at least I'm not as bad as so and so"?

 

[nicola1723]

I've found many women friends, strangers and family act like *****e$ to me now I've shrunk from a 24 to a 10.

I'm so bored of the "you're a different person" comments too. No I'm not. I'm Nic, just smaller....

This week when I said I was a size 10 a lady in a shop said, well they have made the sizes bigger now haven't they....
Beeyatch! Lol

 

[MayraF]

Nicola, you could have said " Yeah the old sizes wouldnt have been able to contain all this" then you'd proceed to smack your backside and wink, walking away

 

[purplepansyem]

I'm reading through all of your replies and it really saddens me to read what people have said to you guys.

I think that MayraF is correct in saying that people use us to poke fun at or be negative towards to cover up their own insecurities.

I also believe that they have absolutely no idea what it's like to be seriously overweight. They have no concept of what it's like to struggle with our bodies and our body image both physically and mentally. They think we are taking the lazy, easy way out by opting for wls because they are ignorant of just what it entails and therefore feel the need to be negative and nasty.

All we can do is ignore it and try to rise above it.

WE know why we're choosing this path, WE know the sacrifices we will have to make and if people get nasty, we can always come here for some comforting words and support

 

[sharon2014]

I haven't told anyone except my parents who are helping me with surgery cost, but I remember a few months back I mentioned to a work colleague that I wished I had funds for the Band and they went on a rant about someone in my work who had it done and spends her time being sick and looks older...!?! I'm sorry now I have researched it more I want to say, she may well be cheating or needs her band adjusted!!

As for the old comment...I don't even know where to start, I'm 34...!!

I think lot of comments are ignorance on the subject!

I am still unsure but thinking likely that I won't share the news, but merely state I'm following a low fat diet! (As long as surgery goes according to plan!)

 

[odonnellcheryl]

I haven't told anyone except my parents who are helping me with surgery cost, but I remember a few months back I mentioned to a work colleague that I wished I had funds for the Band and they went on a rant about someone in my work who had it done and spends her time being sick and looks older...!?! I'm sorry now I have researched it more I want to say, she may well be cheating or needs her band adjusted!! As for the old comment...I don't even know where to start, I'm 34...!! I think lot of comments are ignorance on the subject! I am still unsure but thinking likely that I won't share the news, but merely state I'm following a low fat diet! (As long as surgery goes according to plan!)

it's like me I told everyone in work and everyone around me which I do regret now but was so excited all I can say is they must think I'm so exciting because after a year they are still talking about me lol you would of thought that people you work with would be more supportive as when you first have it done they see the hardship you go through I work in Asda so I get all the customers as well saying things but luckily nice things but then again a lot of the nastiness is said behind my back and other people are quick to tell me it's got to the stage where I'm thinking of changing my job so people know me as just Cheryl and not the one who had a band done x

 

[SHARONA]

I haven't told my work as most are very anti as have had talks with many of them and they all say much the same. "Its cheating and you only put it on and more or it makes you look" old and wrinkly and as you get older you dont want saggy skin. I agree its down to ignorance . I have just told some more of my family. The thing that hurt me was what one said "there are people out there dying of cancer and need urgent expensive drugs and cant get it and your going for surgery when YOU got yourself into that situation of selfishly stuffing your face and drinking your self to a blubber! Its a joke" How did you think that made me feel . I cried and cried and thought they are right but i sat and thought yes but i have health probs I've payed taxes and worked all my life . I know some of my health probs are related to my obesity . But surly we are an illness that doesn't get recognized like anorexics. Thats why im not telling any one at work. Cant deal with the abuse im likely to get im already getting stick about my weight off people laughing at me. Thanks for thread makes you think doesn't it. Its my business and nobody else's. Im trying to save the economy by coming off all my meds which costs.

 

[odonnellcheryl]

I haven't told my work as most are very anti as have had talks with many of them and they all say much the same. "Its cheating and you only put it on and more or it makes you look" old and wrinkly and as you get older you dont want saggy skin. I agree its down to ignorance . I have just told some more of my family. The thing that hurt me was what one said "there are people out there dying of cancer and need urgent expensive drugs and cant get it and your going for surgery when YOU got yourself into that situation of selfishly stuffing your face and drinking your self to a blubber! Its a joke" How did you think that made me feel . I cried and cried and thought they are right but i sat and thought yes but i have health probs I've payed taxes and worked all my life . I know some of my health probs are related to my obesity . But surly we are an illness that doesn't get recognized like anorexics. Thats why im not telling any one at work. Cant deal with the abuse im likely to get im already getting stick about my weight off people laughing at me. Thanks for thread makes you think doesn't it. Its my business and nobody else's. Im trying to save the economy by coming off all my meds which costs.

I know what your saying it is hurtful and the worst thing is with me people are saying I have really changed since I have lost weight but no I have changed towards them because I know they have been running me down and the annoying thing is I have promised the person who had been telling me I wouldn't say nothing but how the hell can you act normal around them and I am now doubting the person who tell me all this crap one good thing come out of it is they have made me a stronger person and I'm happier than I have ever been so let them live in there sad little lives x