Please talk some sense at me !

[Lincs Lass]

I am 2 weeks from my first Surgiversary.

I've mostly managed to be very positive about the whole thing. No, I AM positive about the whole thing. I've had no problems with the surgery or recovery.

The problem is me. I have totally lost my mojo. The last few months have been rather yucky with a variety of things happening (revolving around work - or lack of, car problems, money problems and housing problems). And it is coming out in my eating.

I have put on 4 lb (so am back in obese from 'just' overweight) and am disobeying eating guidelines horrendously. I KNOW what I should be doing/eating but I am worried I am slipping back in to too many of my old habits. But I don't seem to be able to stop myself doing it.

If there are any wise words people can give me I would be enormously grateful xx

 

[Butterfly_lady]

So sorry to hear that things are difficult for you atm, I have no wise words just wanted to send my wishes and hope you find your mojo soon xx

 

[carrieb]

No wise words from me sorry - only just over 6 months out, but starting to feel hunger now. I am concerned that it's all been too easy so far, and don't want to start bad habits again. I just hope that how i feel now, compared to how I felt fat is going to be enough to keep me on track.

You've had such a bad time I'm not surprised you've slipped but you know what you need to do, and I have no doubt you will get back on track. You need to show yourself a little bit of tlc, then a kick up the bum and you'll be fine. 4lbs is ok - but nip it in the bud now before it becomes 7lb! Good luck with everything x

 

[Crystalrainbow]

I'm not one for wise words really, but wanted to send you some support at this time.
Firstly im send a huge hug hun

For me (and i hope this relates somewhere for you too) my life has been full of bad/tough times and i believe there lays my main reason for being in this state in the first place, i have allowed everything and everybody take a large chunk of me, which has taken its toll, eventually i became so obese and so frightened by life i took refuge in my own home....... Why did i allow things to affect me so much? Everyone seemed to have more control over me than i did!! I never thought in a million years that prior to my surgery i would start to take back the control of my life, and found doing the pre op diet extremely empowering. Up until that point i really didn't even have control over what i ate (have hardly any mobility meant hubby did all the shopping cooking etc) Once my pre op began i had to take charge, and for once it felt good, and so far (5 days post op) im still managing to keep control over myself.

I know this sound all very me, me, me but i hope to explain how easy we allow others to take our power away, and its a slippery slope. By going back to the old habits is just allowing external influencaces to affect our life and as a result our well being too.

Try and stay strong, and don't allow others or situations to take your power, you have done so fantastically well to get here today. You should be amazingly proud of yourself. i for one am proud of you you have taken on your demons and won over, don't allow them to creep back in and put you back in a place you don't need to be.

I hope this doesn't come across all preachy and me me me, just words for my experience and from my heart

I hope something written here gives you hope and a gentle prod to say no to the external influences, and helps you to take a long hard look at the wonderful new you and grab back your power and get back to your healthy ways you know you feel a million times better for it .........

Huge huge hugs x x x x

sorry don't normally do things like this lol

 

[Lincs Lass]

Thank you ladies all so very much.

Right, bull by the horns. Work is not forthcoming so I am going to tighten our belts further (I have chatted to my son about this) and have signed up as a Home-Start volunteer. Just in time as the training course starts tomorrow !! Short term view, I can help others. Long term view, the skills will be transferable.

I'm not out the woods with the way I am feeling but I need to do something positive.

Crystalrainbow - thank you so very much. You didn't sound preachy in the slightest - just very wise! x

 

[janeyf]

Oh Sue I do feel for you. Life can be such a pile of poo at times. BUT just remember back to the days pre-op when you fought like a tiger to get this surgery (even putting stones in your pockets to get up to the required BMI I seem to remember )

You did it. You got it and you were thrilled with it. Just try and remember those feelings and how it would feel to creep back to where you started.

You are such a kind and caring person. You want to go out there and help the young uns. You need to be fit for that. You've got a lovely holiday to look forward to with your boy.

Come on lady, get that old Sue spirit we all know and love and go out and smash it xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[melarnz]

I am pretty much exactly where you started. (According to your signature). I have been kidding myself that my weight is not stopping me doing anything I want to do, but being honest, that is rubbish.

So here is a challenge for you -


Let us swap places for a minute. You are me, and you are looking at my achievements over the last year. What would you say to me?


I'm guessing it would be something along the lines of 'omg you have done so amazingly well''. 'I wish I could lose that much weight!'


So just stand still for a moment. Turn backwards and celebrate your achievements., through the hardship, the pain, the puréed food ;-)
Now, face front. What do you want to achieve? Make a plan and dig deep and fight for it.
There's also no reason why you can't do a little 1/4 turn, and stand still for a while either. And concentrate on standing still for a while. Let your head catch up with your body. The little you that used fat to keep it safe is feeling vulnerable and scared. Maybe that is your next aim. To stay at the weight you are now. And nurture yourself to feel safe with who you are now xxx


Good luck, and I hope I do as amazing as you have done. And remember , although people may read your story and not comment, you are an inspiration to others you are a year behind you. You certainly are to me


(Plus 4lb is just a really big poo;-)

 

[melarnz]

I've done a nice long reply. And it's not showing?

 

[Crystalrainbow]

Beautiful lady i know its hard when feeling all is against you, but i feel sure you can pull yourself out, helping others is an amazing thing to do, and along with helping, your soul will start to soar again, and slowly things will start to feel brighter and you will soon be back to fighting fit gl hun x x x big hugs i look forward to hearing all about the course tomorrow x x x i'm pleased you posted sharing helps x

 

[bichonbabies]

Oh no, bless you for posting seems to me you have already made the decision to change your bad habits by writing your post on here... Big brave step huge hugs
We all have blips thats why were not on ww or sw because we couldnt stick to those. You have done amazingly well be proud of everything you have achieved! Look how much you have lost thats a whole person. 4lbs you could put on, on a 2 week holiday. So just see this little blip as your holiday and your home tomorrow so start a fresh!
Life is hard everything is hard so don't be too hard on yourself.. I agree with the poo comment. 4lbs is a massive poo!!

Chin up honey your looking amazing xxxx my only suggestion is maybe do a thread with your daily food intake, be honest and maybe seeing it on screen (maybe getting a little bit of feedback) might bring back your mojo. I bet you tho seeing those 4lbs on the scales will bring it back all by itself xx

 

[chrisa]

I am over 2 years out and have been there on more than one occasion go back to basics look back on your good menus and stick to it get in the mind set. Have a look on the bypass daily menu site.

My hosp. sheet was based on 6 portions of protein a day, 4 portions of fruit n veg, 2-3 carbs. Plenty water I know some hospitals don't work like that but it is worth a try. Get some ideas off the site. Stick with it healthy choices is what its all about if you need to write up what you have been eating then do it and we will see whats gone wrong. xx Stay strong you can do it x

 

[borogirl]

Hello my surgery twin. We were done at the same time. I am having a bit if a crap time too at the min with home life, kids, step kids etc and I have been self sabotaging my bypass also. We have gone back to this habit as this is what we did in the past. We are lighter than we ever dreamed of 12 months ago.
I have gone back to packed lunches at work and trying more meals oppose to snacking too much, constantly grazing.
Think we have been on a high for such along time loosing weight... And what's next in our journey?
We had this goal, mainly achieved it but what next?
You are doing the right thing keeping busy and volunteering as otherwise the focus goes back to food.
Keep at it my dear, we need to stay positive x

 

[Georgie163]

Hello luv,

Not even had my surgery but few years back I lost lots of weight, was actually buying French connection size 10 dresses and was so happy. Swore I would never get to how I was before. But that's not how the story went. I went through difficult times, ate all my feelings, ate when I was bored, ate when I was happy, I even ate all the leftovers for the sake of starving African children.

My point is, this surgery sounds like a miracle cure at times, but life still continues and the surgery doesn't mean 30,40,50 years or whatever age you are, of having this love / hate relationship with food (that we all have with food because let's be honest, you don't get to 20st plus on miso soup) that doesn't just disappear. We are always going to struggle, and that's all this is..and it's trying to find other ways of coping when the going gets tough breaking hard habits that we have relied on for so many years.

On another note I'm sorry to hear you are going through such a difficult time right now, no idea why things always have to happen all at once really hope you feel better soon xxxx

 

[Yvessa]

Day at a time my dear. Tomorrow will be your first good day Plan your meals, plan in some extra (healthy) snacks for nibbling. And stick to it - you only need to do one day. Then, when you've done one day the next will feel so much easier.

 

[Lincs Lass]

Each and everyone of you are wonderful. Thank you x

First day on the course was really fascinating and I'm really looking forward to the rest of it.

I had to have an 'interview' in my home on Tuesday and the ladies asked - in view of voluntary work I'd done before - I hadn't gone in to this field before as I'm clearly suited to it. Such kind words and gave me a real boost.

I've still eaten rubbish.My surgiversary is 1 week and 2 days away. I wont have reached my self imposed target BUT I will be over 8 stone down on this time last year. 8 whole flaming stone!!!

I'm on my phone and it won't let me keep this open and go back to check who wrote what so apologies if the beginning of my next sentence sounds rude. The lady who said she's not had her op now so stand where she is and look where I am. Yes - thank you!! That was a great suggestion.

Today is THE new day. Once I've been out and posted my son's Valentines card (soppy mother!) I'm coming home to plan.

Thank you all xx

 

[chrisa]

Well done you, its like everything else in life unless you are at the point where you really want to do it there is no point in doing it halfheartedly. You AND YOUR BODY AND THE HEAD IN PARTICULAR are the driving force now you have voiced it all it will have given yu a base from which to set off again from. Go you!!!!!! xxxx WE are here for you if its still support you require x I have just has another one of those blips myself they are awful. x

 

[Crystalrainbow]

good to hear hun 8 stone is a massive deal and huge congrats for that amazing achievement. you are an inspiration. glad the course went well, sometimes life throws us a swerve ball, and ends up putting us on a totally different path, sometimes for the better x x x x

 

[melarnz]

Well done!!! I'm glad I can help. It's good to make some head space, we get so cluttered up there sometimes! Keep on keeping on! Xxx