Post op confidence

[salski]

Hiya all - strange question - but everyone thats post op got more confidence...in themselves, their appearance, their day to day jobs and tasks, their bodies etc...

The reason I ask is I havn't...if anything Ive gone the opposite way! Lol...Im coming to terms with the appearance change, but what about you guys....?

Sal x

 

[Lisa J]

I've gained tons of confidence! I've been a stay at home mum for the last 7 years so have been able to get away with gaining loads of weight 6 stones to be precise! But the result of this was disasterous on my social life, i never wanted to go out as i hated the only clothes that fitted me, i used to be so embarassed doing the school run as i knew i was the fattest mum in the playground, mates would invite us around and i'd make excuses not to go, the list goes on and on! Now i feel totally different, the best bit is not having the headache of what im going to wear, this used to drive me nuts and most of the time would drive me to tears.....but not anymore!

 

[salski]

Just me then eh? Hahah

Thanks Lisa..Im really please things are on the up for you! They are for me too....I just think its weird that before p I was soooo full of confidence etc...now I feel all odd about things :S hehe

Sal x

 

[Stellap]

I find that I'm the same as before, ,mainly because I still think of myself as fat. I went out with my daughter last night and she took some photos of me and only then could I see that I have changed, my face and my body. Its given me confidence to wear more trendy things and not cover up. It takes a long time to accept the change (i've been overweight for over 20 years)

 

[Lisa J]

I can understand what your saying sal, i think the more weight we lose the more critical we are of ourselves, this time last year i was in a size 28 jeans now im in a size 16 and the other day i took them off cos i felt fat in them! I think when were large we kinda give up caring about ourselves?? Therefore as you get smaller maybe your becoming more critical of yourself?

 

[CCPM]

I hope that you soon feel more confidence in yourself but when those layers get stripped away it does leave you feeling vulnerable.

Good luck

M

 

[hopelesscase]

more confidence no as like you i have always been confident, but a new zest for life definatly!

 

[bexmoss86]

Hey sal,

I used to be a lot more confident when I was younger (like in my teens) but I think with age I have lost a lot of that confidence. Having confidence knocks has deffo contributed to me putting on the weight, so I hope that with each pound I lose, I will get some of this back.

Maybe once you have become used to your new body, over time you will gain back your confidence.

After all, its still early days x

 

[salski]

Everyone advice is wonderful and really food for thought.

I was genuinly happy being fat, I had no issues and no one ever called me names (to my face) even now as I have lost the weight people still say 'oh god you never needed to loose weight' etc and hand on heart I was happy. I still am happy, just more worried about people thinking Im fat now...even though I was 7 stone heavier beforehand?!?! RANDOM!

But thanks guys - really.

 

[Rebirth]

Sal,

I remember sitting in on your talk the very first wl support group I attended at Salford. I remember thinking how brave you and the man who was with you were, to be able to share your story with us. It was you that told me about this site and helped ease some of the guilt I felt about how all this would affect my children and husband.

I think a lot of us aren't as confident as we look, but, have got used to putting a brave face on so as not to be the target of ridicule etc. I don't know, but when I lose weight I can never see how thin I have got. I also know that certain friends think I become more confident, although the opposite is usually true. It's strange how perceptions can change. However, as bexmoss86 said it will take time for you to get used to your new figure. I also think that some of fear could be because there is no longer anything to blame shortcomings or failure on. There is no longer anything to hide behind.

You're great and inspiring Sal. Enjoy your new self and even if you don't feel confident on the inside. Carry on giving us the impression that you do and you might even fool yourself.

love

Rebirth

 

[samsmum]

The confidence comes and goes fast with me. I will be in company and feel real confident and then all of a sudden I feel I want to disappear as I feel overwhelmed by any attention.

 

[Gail-michelle]

Ime like carol (hopelesscase) Ive always been full of confidence fat or thin. wether its doing a speach @ area manager meetings standing up and doing talks in rather large conferences. Ive always been fine and not ever have I shyed away. I always make sure that Ime pampered at least once per month this seems to boost the morale up a lil too! I have my nails and hair done every 3 weeks and this helps too! But sal you always look realy bubbly and confident everytime I see you!! so all in all I think you have more confidence than you probably think you have. Your a fab girl and likes a fun time your oozing with it believe me. Gail x

 

[Cuppacocoa]

One of the reasons I decided to have to op was because of my ever decreasing confidence - with every pound I gained my confidence was being zapped a bit more. It got to the point where I started to dread going out and seeing people. I still seemed happy and bubbly on the outside but inside I was constantly worrying that people were looking at me and judging me and that made even more self conscious.

Since the op 10 weeks ago my confidence has sky rocketed! Already I am totally different - I'm still always smiling but now I really mean it, I'm smiling inside as well as out.

Cuppa xx

 

[candie]

I'm gradually getting my confidence back, mainly due to the compliments i'm getting at the moment.I went to a party last night and people who I haven't seen for ages were saying I looked great
It's fab getting into smaller, and cheaper clothes too

 

[Glenville]

Good thread!

I'm only about 10 weeks post-op but I feel so much more confident than I was before. Almost too much. I find that I am expressing my opinions where before I would fall in with others. This has caused me problems and I must learn to be less irritable and more tolerant.

So Sal, your confidence will grow, but don't rush it. You have a lot of things happening at the moment and when you get a chance to take a breath (or 2) you will be feeling much better.

John xx

 

[phatgirl]

Sal, I think I get where you are coming from. Tell me if I am wrong. I think your change in confidence is directly related to WHY you had the surgery. You are in the ever-increasing minority that was not size/weight obsessed. You were GENUINELY happy with yourself and did not dwell on how you dressed or what your physical imperfections were. You did not dread looking at yourself or being looked at by others. Now, after having the surgery strictly for health reasons, you have spent the last months thinking about, looking at and being very critically aware of your size/shape/fitness. You caught the terrible disease of self-doubt that many women suffer from! It is totally understandable that you would struggle with this newly lowered satisfaction. I deal with a small measure of it myself because my blinders have been removed and I see more of my flaws now too, I really, no joke, thought that I looked pretty good right up to those last 20lbs I weighed at my top weight which if I am honest horrify me slightly to look at photos of now!

Hopefully once you have reached your goal, gotten pregnant and maintained your weightloss, you will feel more at home in your new skin and not focus on what imperfections you have. You look fantastic now you just have to believe it too.

Hugs,
Nic

 

[Mark01/05/2009]

I have my up days and my down days.

I love how I now look in most clothes. I still have a bit of a belly on me so when I see that I get down about it, but Amy makes me realise that it's not as bad as I imagine and to think how bad it used to be.

It all doesnt feel normal yet though, I still feel like im on a bit of a bypass cloud and at some point its bound to come crashing down on me.

I guess time will tell.

But Sal, you look fantastic!