post op jealousy?

[candie]

Since having my op a particular family member seems to be panicking about my weight loss, and making nasty digs about me doing it the easy way, how I dress etc.
Last week I had another bad dumping do, loss of bowel control etc and told this person as I was feeling low and worried.Yesterday we were in my car and she was laughing about it, so I got annoyed and tried to explain how worried I was/am
I think it suited her when I was fat, but I still do everything for her, so why the nastiness? It's as though i'm not entitled to a life

 

[jo_ jo]

My brother of all people who has known me as been big all my life used to say that I cheated and took the easy way out. But over the last couple of months he doesnt say it anymore and I think he has realised that it wasnt. People are small minded. I also think that people are jealous when they see you have got your life back and are `normal`. You have done really really well well done. I know it is easier said than done but try not to let her get you down

Jo
xx

 

[Twiggie]

That's terrible but from what I've heard you're not the only one who has experienced this sort of attitude

It's for this very reason I'm not telling anyone about my WLS, apart from my son who lives with me as obviously he needs to know. I've not even told my other children or the rest of the family. I'm not ashamed of having the surgery but I know I will be subjected to ridicule and receive nasty comments from their side of the family.

As far as anyone else is concerned I'm going into hospital for hernia repair and stomach ulcer treatment, which is partially true anyway. Not quite sure how to explain away such a rapid weight loss, will cross that bridge whenever, but I don't see them regularly so they might not realise it's happened so quickly. I'll just say I'm on a diet

 

[Dawn36]

Funny you should say that as I am just beginning to notice the same thing amongst my family and friends. They are all trying to lose weight and when I have lost they dont comment. I know they are thinking that it is easy for me, and much harder for them. So I now challenge them and ask whats up, it has worked for me because now we all understand that no-one is doing it the easy way, cos there isn't one! Your friend doesn't sound like a friend, maybe she is afraid the new you wont need the old her and she will lose you? But we all think you are a star!

 

[xxwendybendyxx]

i can honestly agree with you all, i have only told 2 people i had a bypass that was my partner and friend but while i was in hospital my partner told my oldest daughter, reason he said he told her was cause he was worried about me, and needed to speak to someone, i didnt mind he told her but she has been told no to tell anyone. i totally agree if people new what i went in for they would think, i took the easy way out, but by god i didnt, i DID this for me and no one else, i think it all boils down to jealousy they are frightned but again its thier problem, when the weight comes of i'll tell them i'm going to weight watchers lol x

 

[encore]

I got it too and my sister constantly says I'm looking gaunt and that it has aged me. I don't give a damn.

 

[gemrovers]

I am horrified people are making these comments, they should be proud and pleased for you about the weight loss. Personally I am proud to say I have had a Bypass and I challenge anyone who thinks it's an easy option to give it a go and see how hard it really is especially at the beginning. We should all be proud of ourselves

 

[rybens]

Im getting close to not being the biggest in my family and friends and can see some of them not looking forward to being the biggest in the group a title i have owned for many a year, one friend goes on about loose skin all the time and every time i see her who ever is there she will say hows your loose skin going? not how you feeling or how much weight have you lost, then an aunt said last week you dont want to loose any more off your face or it will age you lol like i can stop it from just coming off my face. Iv not had anyone brave enough to tell me iv took the easy way out yet but sure as hell if i do they will never say it again lol

 

[dottychic]

This makes me so sad. Human nature I guess? I cant see myself ever acting like this. Im sure I would feel a twinge of jealousy, but to make snide comments and make someone feel bad is wrong. x

 

[dreamofbeingslim]

I think it is definately jealousy Candie you have done really well and are starting to enjoy yourself without her necessarily and she doesn't like it.

 

[liannos]

all i can say they have no idea what we go though from the start its them with the problem let them get over it you live your life **** them lol big kiss xx

 

[tink75]

Oh my word - this post makes me feel really sad. My family and friends have neen amazingly supportive. It may be cause I nearly died 4 times and so they UNDERSTAND that is was def not the easy option. I think anyone that is not pleased that you are losing weight has real issues because it's not about how you look - it's about adding mor years onto your life. I think that getting smaller is a positive bonus but this was NEVER my motivation for WLS. I just knew I would die well too young if I didn't have the surgery. Keep smiling all and think to yourselfs how much you love your family and friends to take such a risk to be with them longer - now that's love xxx

 

[candie]

Thanks for the support everyone, was just feeling a bit down so needed your perspectives xx

 

[LizzieBee]

Please don't let the jealousy get you down. You are doing so fabulousy and are looking:wow::wow::wow:! You're a wonderful friend, superb Nana and looking fine! Those are the things that matter, don't let anyone steal your thunder!

Lxxx

 

[12dobidog]

Candie, sod em all, you look great and the only one that matters is you. I'm sure that if the others had the bottle they would like to be in your shoes.
Good on you girl

 

[candie]

Please don't let the jealousy get you down. You are doing so fabulousy and are looking:wow::wow::wow:! You're a wonderful friend, superb Nana and looking fine! Those are the things that matter, don't let anyone steal your thunder!

Lxxx

Thanks hun, I suspect you know who it is

 

[Katastrophe]

Weird how the people who go on about us losing weight sometimes end up being the ones who can't handle it when we do. I'm guessing they expect us to fail.

You look great Candie and have done so well - don't let anyone ever make you think or feel any different

 

[claudia24]

u look amazing dont let any one put u down.

i have one friend who doesnt tell me ive lost weight she has done once but with her, if its not about her she dont wanna know, my other friend has been amazing and tell me all the time im shrinking away (love it wen she says that lol), i remember about a week before my op i was talking to my brother about my op (we not close but were close enough) he said what the big deal!! i said do u even know the process of it all and he said no, well i was pissed off cuz work wound me up, i said well dont say its no big deal till u've done reasearch, this is a life risking op, (i was very low risk) i explained everything and he shut up lol. xx

 

[LisaG]

Is the friend big too? I had a terrible time with a friend (who was also overweight...though not as much as me) when I lost a lot of weight several years ago. She refused to get into any conversation about my weight, walked away when people complimented me and generally changed the subject all the time. It really got me down until a therapist I knew told me that it was INCREDIBLY normal and common.

We're still friends but guess what....she's ignoring all talk about the op too! I'm ready for it this time though...bring it on!

 

[phatmomma]

Some people feel threatened by other's success and also as someone else said they don't want you to get smaller than they are because they then feel the focus of everyone's eyes... Ignore them, rise above it and revel in the fact you have done so fabulously well and are looking damn hot (in a none woman admiring another woman way). Keep on in your success xxx

PS, my sister is gonna be so pi**** off when i get smaller than her lol xxx