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relationship with food

stubad

New Member
:confused:i think that the hardest thing for me, with regards to WLS, is that i have such a happy marriage with food, i feel that although i want to have the op, the only thing that is stopping me being completely happy is that i dont want to never eat the things i love again, for example, if i am invited out or want to take my partner out, normally that would involve a meal of some sort and knowing that i will only be able to eat miniscule amounts makes me think that i would shy away from that. I love that social aspect that surrounds food, like graizing at the buffet and chicken and chips at the dogs.
But please don't missunderstand me, there is nothing gonna stop me having the op as i have too many pro's, not least of all being a dad to my 5 kiddies and looking after my partner who has fought cancer and is winning, but i wondered how others dealt with this issue and wether you can still have that relationship, at the moment the surgical team tell me that i wont crave as much and my taste will change, but WILL IT? DOES IT?.
can anybody share they're food challanges and how surgery affected that:confused:
 
All I can say as I'm only 3 weeks post op, is that the psychological side has been overwhelming for me. I've not gone to a few events because of it, such as things over the jubilee weekend and it was hard! Don't get me wrong, I don't regret my decision, but the way you have to think is harder than I thought, and probably the hardest part! I've had no help from my provider this way (THG) and I think it's really important! It's like having a baby, you don't know what its going to be like until it's too late!! Anyway, good luck with your journey xxx
 
Hi I can't say from the bypass point of view but only from a sleeve and have to say the first few months are hard only being able to eat a few mouthfuls and that's your meal over. As I was a constant grazer and it took a bit of adjusting going from all day having food to 3 meals lasting less than 3 minutes. Thank god though I was prepared for that through this site and knew it was common for post op regret and it does pass. A few months passes and everything just clicks :) you get to have a nice small plate of lovely food and enjoy it while loosing a lot of weight :) try not to worry everyone has these thoughts pre op and for a few months post op too, but it gets better and you still can enjoy food and going out for a meal just less of it x
 
HI I am 9months post op, I still go out for meals and we have been on holiday with 3 n 4 couse evening meals, just stick to the guidelines, u will be fine, you will just learn what and how much you can have, nothing has to change about going out its what you eat and drink that will change, my alcohol intake has been cut drastically but still have drink once a fortnight instead of having 15 drinks now only have 5. Tend to go for chicken when eating out, by tthe time i'v eaten that I dont need potatoes or anyhting else, what I don't eat some one else will so please don't worry. It was my hubby who worried bout things like that for me, I eat a lot less these days but can eat almost anything, just in much smaller quantities, eat protein first then the veg and carbs last if i still need to eat more. My taste has changed a bit but I do have sweet cravings now just if i really want something have it in a really small portion 1 or 2 squares of chocolate if thats what I fancy instead of the bar or 1/2 big barlike times of old. Any more than 2 squares and the dietician assures me I will dump, have never pushed it nor do I want to. So good luck and go with your little pouch it will tell you what it likes and doesn't like we are all individuals, and our bodies are all different, you will have to wait n see, but you should be fine. xx
 
Hi Stubad,
I totally understand where you are coming from, I felt exactly the same. Everyone's experience is different and I am only 4 weeks post op but I have struggled a few times with 'head hunger'. I have found it emotionally tough at times, for example when my fella & the kids had a dominos pizza take away last week! It was always a special treat for us all & I don't want them to miss out. I had to go upstairs and have a shower as I just couldn't sit & watch them eat it. My partner was upset by this (has been so supportive) but it is difficult for him to understand as he loves his food but does not have 'food issues'.
Food was something I would use when I was happy when I was sad, as a reward, when I was bored....my whole world revolved around food. Things are VERY different now - it is a steep learning curve for us all.
I guess it is early days for me, but I look forward to social meals out again, when I can eat more of a variety of foods. My partner & I had a laugh about it though as I will be happy to go to cordon bleu restaurants that serve tiny portions as that will now fill me up :)
Hope that helps, but I'm sure those on here who are longer post op will have more words of wisdom.
Jo x
 
Socialising for me has always been meal orientated, now 17 weeks post bypass its no different, except I make healthier choices and don't finish the meal, I don't feel im missing out because I eat until I'm satisfied anyway. I've even gone for a three course meal at a friends but it was literally a bite of starter and desert and more for main. The plus points of the weight loss n feelibg great outweigh any doubts - you will have to alter your food choices though - chips at the dogs would most likely make you feel poorly
 
I found when I ate out that the enjoyment came from the company rather than the food . I still enjoyed the food , just on a smaller scale x
 
I am and always will be a foodie :) I enjoy the preparation of food, the feeding and the eating and above all doing it with company :) I do order healthier choices if we're eating out but other than that we still do eat out. And it costs a fraction of what it used to as well!
 
I'm a sleever 2 weeks out and have found it a breeze so far. With the sleeve you can still eat normal food, without the risk of dumping, but just in small amounts. I love my sleeve xxx

from me phone :D
 
mayamoo said:
Glad things are going well Caren, soooo pleased you got your op xx

Aww thanks maya, that's really kind of you :) xxx

from me phone :D
 
I was the BIGGEST foodie known to man! I loved everything about food, the smell, the taste, the look, the feel, the preparation, absolutely EVERYTHING to do with food!
Since my bypass, I'm astounded that everything has changed. In a way it makes me very sad that I no longer get any pleasure at all from food. (I'm hoping that this will change)
I wasn't prepared for the feelings that I have (or no longer have) concerning food... it's like my "Food Light" got switched off.
I look at food that before surgery I would love to eat/cook but now those feelings are dead to me now. I was trying to think last night what food I'd like to eat if I could, and all my usual favourites didn't seem to appeal to me any more... nothing did :(
I'm only 2 weeks post op so I know that it's early days and that I am still recovering, but of course it still makes me sad to know that I will no longer be able to enjoy food the way that I used to. I don't mean comfort/overeating, food can still be a joy even if it's something small like bacon sandwich. I don't enjoy anything that I'm eating ATM, and I am quite happy to go without food until I can eat normal food that isn't puréed or mashed up (I know this attitude is very spoilt but it's just the way that I feel)
The thing that keeps me going is the fact that I know in 6 months, or maybe even a year, I will be a size that I am more comfortable than I am now. I hate looking in the mirror now, I hate the sad person who stares back at me. I have no passion for fashion as all the things that I would like to wear would look so stupid on me. (I wouldn't even find the stuff in my size anyway) :p
Pre op I was prepared to sacrifice food for the sake of being healthy and to enjoy the next 20 or so years having fun and not letting food destroy my life as it always has done.
I do not regret my decision to have surgery for one minute, and I am sure that one day I will get back a bit of the joy that food used to give me. I'm looking forward in creating pouch friendly menus and experimenting with foods that I haven't eaten before :)
I guess it feels like it's a very sad end to a wonderful, yet very destructive life long love affair, but like anything in life, when one love goes it opens the door to a new love, and my new love will be my fitness, the new activities that I will be able to enjoy, days out at the funfair with my daughter and the ability to look in the mirror and love the new person that I see before me :)

Good luck with your surgery and love, light and prayers to your partner that her body stays cancer free forever and that you will both have a wonderful, healthy and exciting future with your children x
 
You will enjoy food after just a lot less of it!When you go to the dogs you will have to have the sausage and no bread or chips!
 
thanks for all the responses its obviously an important subject for all on this site, grace i'm sorry ur appetite is so low, but ur on the losers bench now and all good things are to come, but thats kind of what i want i want to feel like i can do without the foods after surgery as otherwise i will go crazy from the cravings, i think that as long as i can regain that social aspect of food then i am prepared to go through that first year to get there, lets face it the biggest hurdle so far has been th pre op diet, which initially i failed miserably at, but now switched to milk diet and strangely doing well, i am glad in a way that i am not alone in my food affair as it shows that it can still carry on after wls but on a different level, thankyou everyone x
 
Your'e very welcome, good luck with your op and journey, stick with it you'll get there your new relationship will be with your pouch not the food. xx
 
I love this thread - thanks for starting it Stu!

I to had a love affair with food and thats what I was to most worried about when I was considering the surgery. I mean I enjoyed food and I liked the taste - (I even liked the build up to a binge) and the choices I would make as well as the social aspect of it.

Ultimately though when working out the pro's and con's I was most excited by the thought of food not rulling my life! After reading stories on here I knew having surgery would not be the end of food for me and it would still be out there but now my life wont be dictated by food and thats the thought that made me realise this was the right decision for me.

I wanted the control back and so far I am only 2 1/2 weeks post op but I have no regrets and I know it is is going to be the best decision I have ever made!

Nxx
 
i think that because i also enjoy the preparation, choosing buying and then creating, that maybe that is a relationship i can still have, i love cooking and creating new recipes, so i think i may start on recipes for each stage of post op, better get my soup head on ( not gonna be difficult as i love soup), oh an nat i am already missing the binge build up and planning, lmao, so glad i found this site, am i the only one who sits reading for hours ?? xxxx
 
Just read the posts for a bit of encouragement!
Ive Had a fall out with my hubby and I'm desperate for food/choc/crap........
My first real battle and I'm feeling really panicky that I can't reach for my usual food!!
I won't allow myself to cheat (especially as I'm only 11 days post op) but I can't shake this panick/scared feeling
Someone please tell me I'm normal!!!
 
kangaroo77 said:
Just read the posts for a bit of encouragement!
Ive Had a fall out with my hubby and I'm desperate for food/choc/crap........
My first real battle and I'm feeling really panicky that I can't reach for my usual food!!
I won't allow myself to cheat (especially as I'm only 11 days post op) but I can't shake this panick/scared feeling
Someone please tell me I'm normal!!!

I'm 7mth out and having a crap craving day, it's all completely normal! x

Sent from my iPad using WLSurgery
 
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