Second thoughts are getting my down

[alison1979]

Hi all i need to speak about this i have been having second thoughts on my bypass, i am due to get a date in june but i am so worried as to this life changing and and big operation, i worry that i have 3 children and what if i cant cope after surgey with them, or if i cant ever have a social life again. the list goes on, but i also know i have done everything other then surgey i can and i am worried of dying yound and not been here for my children, are these normal thoughts?? would really like any comments to help
Thanks all x

 

[Neen]

Whatever surgery we all go for, these thoughts are common and very normal.
A lot of us here are parents and we all have those kinds of fears, but I think the vast majority of us have found our lives and therefore, our kids lives, have been enhanced so much after surgery that the relatively rare risks are worth it.

 

[Deets]

the week before my op i was panicking and freaking out - id never had surgery, or given birth or anything before! To say i was scared, was an understatement. Its perfectly normal to panick

I managed to get myself through the surgery and have not looked back since! It has been the best thing ive done and im feeling good! I can eat everything, just in teeny proportions so i dont feel like im missing out.

The people on this forum will support you and youll always have somewhere to talk freely and ask for support.

*hugs*

x

 

[john m]

had my bypass 3 weeks ago 2 day.i was out of bed later that day and never realy had any pain,u need 2 think of the good parts and not wot ull lose,seeing ur kids grow up,playing on a field ect coz i bet u find it hard 2 now,we no its a massive thing but ive never read on here yet any 1 who regrets it after. gl and hope all goes well

 

[starr]

i have all the fears too, plus being older ,im worried about the effects after,loose skin,if it will change my personality,but i know i have to lose this weight to have a full ,healthy life ,and to see my family grow,the odds of things going wrong with surgery are less than the odds of me dying of weight related illnesses,,having said that ,i had unrelated surgery when my kids were young and i felt like you,about copin with my kids ,what if i leave them, its very normal to be scared,and to worry about your loved ones,but in a year or so, i hope we both realise how much better your kids an my grandkids lives are by having a healthier ,happier mum or nan to share it with x

 

[Roch]

Hi Allison, hun honestly it is so normal for you to have thoughts like that and i am sure most of us who r post oppers and especially for those of us who r mums we worry that bit more. All i can say is that if u look at the statistics for people having any kind of wls the percentage of people who have major complications are tiny compared 2 the amount of people who are seriously ill or die from obesity related illness.

Have you got family and friends who could come round once u r back home, 2 help take the kids to school and help u at home. Tbh i was going stir crazy after 3 days at home and doing nothing that i just had to get up and get on with things as i was not used to sitting down and doing nothing as well as having cleaning ocd lol.

My bypass saved my life,i am 14 months post op and have nearly lost 13 stone got to admit i am one of the few that have had quite a few probs post op starting about 8 weeks post op but even though i have had a rough ride i would do it over and over again.
This site is amazing they supported me so much and i have made some good friends here on the site, and we all know how hard it is pre op, so my worries and questions, but we are all here to help and support each other so just come on and post and we will do our best to help u and support you along your journey.

Take care luv Roch xx

 

[suepat10]

As the others say, these feelings are normal.

I don't know if this will make sense but try and accept these feelings as normal and try not to 'fight' them as that will put extra pressure on yourself.

Maybe write a list of the reasons why you are having the surgery and skim read that when you are feeling low.

Another thing I think that doesn't help is the feeling that you've made the decision and it's out of your hands. That you have no more control. But you do. Until you're under that anaesthetic you can change your mind.

I don't think you will, but I think the knowledge you are still in control helps xx

 

[Fizzy donna]

Hi Alison I am due to have my bypass on Saturday and I am having terrible thoughts that are giving me second thoughts. ! I have lost 9 lb first week pre op and people keep saying ' see u can do it , carnt u carry on with this diet to loose your weight ? ' I just keep thinking about my kids and leaving them :cry: I feel so down today and tho others say these feelings are normal it doesn't change them or make them go away . I think the worry is awful to deal with and at the moment I'm not dealing to well with it either x x x

 

[phatmomma]

When you've tried everything and nothing works what can you do but take drastic steps... Surgery is not something that should be entered into lightly. I had mine knowing i had my 11 & 12 yr old daughters who are my responsibility to raise and guide through their young lives, i also have a 23 yr old son and a grandson to take into consideration.... However, there comes a point in your life when these responsibilities are kinda sidelined, you know you've got them but you have a bigger responsibility to yourself. To get your life back on track and to be healthier and live longer is the bigger picture...

If your worrying because you don't think you'll cope post op with children to look after then rally round, if only to find one of the mums at school to drop off and pick up your kids. Get preparing lots of frozen meals (or fill the freezer with food) in readiness so your not cooking the minute you get out of hospital....

If your thinking you won't have the surgery because it will stop you going out and getting tiddley or going for an indian or living a normal life again then i have two pieces of advice....

1. There is life after bypass surgery, everything is permitted but you do have to remember to do something we don't need to pre op, and that is to moderate what we take in food/drink wise. Although it's not wise to drink within a certain period (as specified by your provider)...

2. Make a list of why you want surgery in the first place?

 

[alison1979]

had my bypass 3 weeks ago 2 day.i was out of bed later that day and never realy had any pain,u need 2 think of the good parts and not wot ull lose,seeing ur kids grow up,playing on a field ect coz i bet u find it hard 2 now,we no its a massive thing but ive never read on here yet any 1 who regrets it after. gl and hope all goes well

Hi john i am having mine at srh as well, i know its the right thing i just worry but i guess its normal, everyone on her is great and the advice it always great, so think u and to everyone who has commented x

 

[alison1979]

Hi Alison I am due to have my bypass on Saturday and I am having terrible thoughts that are giving me second thoughts. ! I have lost 9 lb first week pre op and people keep saying ' see u can do it , carnt u carry on with this diet to loose your weight ? ' I just keep thinking about my kids and leaving them :cry: I feel so down today and tho others say these feelings are normal it doesn't change them or make them go away . I think the worry is awful to deal with and at the moment I'm not dealing to well with it either x x x

Aww fizzy i know what you are going through i really hope all goes well as i am sure it will hun.
Take care and please can you post on here when u have had it done as i would love to see how you are getting on x

 

[alison1979]

Hi Allison, hun honestly it is so normal for you to have thoughts like that and i am sure most of us who r post oppers and especially for those of us who r mums we worry that bit more. All i can say is that if u look at the statistics for people having any kind of wls the percentage of people who have major complications are tiny compared 2 the amount of people who are seriously ill or die from obesity related illness.

Have you got family and friends who could come round once u r back home, 2 help take the kids to school and help u at home. Tbh i was going stir crazy after 3 days at home and doing nothing that i just had to get up and get on with things as i was not used to sitting down and doing nothing as well as having cleaning ocd lol.

My bypass saved my life,i am 14 months post op and have nearly lost 13 stone got to admit i am one of the few that have had quite a few probs post op starting about 8 weeks post op but even though i have had a rough ride i would do it over and over again.
This site is amazing they supported me so much and i have made some good friends here on the site, and we all know how hard it is pre op, so my worries and questions, but we are all here to help and support each other so just come on and post and we will do our best to help u and support you along your journey.

Take care luv Roch xx

Thank u roch, its nice to know xxx

 

[sicknote]

hi,

im pre-opper and have feelings of guilt over starting this journey as i have 2 very young children and i understand your worry's x with regards to helping with your children if you don't have access to family help and support then get on the phone to your local council of social service tell them whats happening and ask them to put you in touch with a community liason officer to arrange some home help x there are some really lovely volunteers out there that can come and help you when you need it most, from making you a brew to doing the washing up or cooking the childrens tea, they wabt to help so let them xx
i wish you all the best and remeber your not just doing it for yourself and the way you look but to be there for your children in the years to come and as a fantastic role model of strenght and selflesness xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[jo_ jo]

Everyone feels the same.

But it is the best thing to see your kids faces when you do something with them like play on the swings, go to the fair and go on rides or go to theme parks all of which you can fit in the seats and have fun. That is when you know you have done the right thing

My way of looking at the op was if I didnt do it I was going to die and this was the start of my new life.

All the best

Jo
xx

 

[alison1979]

Hi jo thanks i know you are right, i will feel much better but i am worrier lol.

Need the advice form everyone on here you have all been great x
Tell ya ma i was asking after her.
Take care xx

 

[alison1979]

sorry jo mam lol

 

[Fuffs]

Good luck Alison. Your new, exciting life awaits you